Volume XIII

Name: Volume XIII
Author: David Bussell

VOLUME XIII: OBJECTLESS ADDICTLESS

‘The cult of the early tantrics, of the early kaula (feminine side of shamanism) is that they were led by women; these women would induce the spirit to take possession of them; the one who would be initiated (usually a man - they had to be brave to face these goddesses) would come; there would be a sexual ritual that included alcohol, meat, exchange of seminal and other fluids - normally these were held in cremation grounds with skulls and other things. The idea was that one had to die to all the attachments that one had in this world (the hero, the veera) and then if you could go into the goddess - and this woman would be possessed by the yogini (nymphs, local forest spirits), and belong to the cult of one of the eight mothers - you would then be awakened by a sexual act that would shoot you to ‘the other side’.’ – Raja Choudhury

‘I defined as transpersonal a process of "descent" of transcendent spiritual power and illumination through the normal consciousness, and eventually through the whole personality of a human being. The source of that power and light exists in a realm "beyond" the personal consciousness and the ego, but I saw in the transpersonal action a descent of power rather than an ascent of a person's consciousness and emotions. In traditional religious terms, as a man prays to God his soul reaches up to the Divine; and God answers by an outpouring of "grace" — a descent of the Holy Spirit. The transpersonal approach I have been presenting does not follow any strictly religious system of thought; neither is it "mystical" in the usual sense of the term. It is essentially metaphysical and cosmological — or one may say cosmontological, as it refers to cosmic "being" (ontos).

In its application to human psychology and the future possibility of humanity's development, the concept of holarchy inevitably leads to the realization that a state of more-than-individual (or "transindividual") existence is not only a possibility, but the only unglamorous, realistic and practical way to give meaning and direction to the present day struggle of individuals and nations toward what many people, often naively, call the New Age.

The possibility of a really "new" Age can be seen in the interrelated cycles of planetary and cosmic motions, if properly interpreted, but cycles do not determine what will happen. They only evoke the possibility of the happenings and if it happens, something of its basic character. Man alone can decide what actually and concretely will happen — at least at Man's own level of existence.

Humanity is only a part of vaster wholes — the planet, the solar system, our galaxy — and these wholes hierarchically set the cosmic and planetary stages; yet, on the stage of the Earth's biosphere Man is a crucially important performer. Humanity no doubt has a role to perform, at least broadly

defined by its place within these vaster wholes. The "score" is not of Man's own making, but the performance is nevertheless his, for better or for worse; and every truly individualized human being is a responsible aspect of Humanity-as-a-whole. The whole acts not only in the individual, but through the individual. The whole realizes itself in and through the acts, feelings, and thoughts of its individualized participants who have become open to its descents of power. As this occurs, the transindividual state of existence is reached.

The way to such a state is what I call the transpersonal path. In no basic sense is it different from what esoteric traditions have spoken of as the Path of Initiation; yet this hoary and haloed word, Initiation, can be seen in a new light once the human being who is to tread the path leading to it has actually emerged from the chrysallis-state of bondage to the particular culture that had formed his or her mind and conditioned his or her feeling-responses and behavioral habits.’

Dane Rudhyar

God, in essence, is objectless desire – or desire without ‘ends’. It is, therein, endless means. 5

‘We dont just take in information. We’re actually having a controlled hallucination most of the time. We’re projecting what we expect to see and letting reality correct it’ [or are we?] - Michael Pollan

‘What does anyone imagine? A hundred things a minute. Whether I imagine a thing or not, it’s real to me… the things that I believe become facts. They have the time and space of facts.’ - Paul Giamatti in Cosmopolis

‘We can collapse the old version and dare to dream of a different vision of us. Dream big. Dont contain yourself. Dont write the blockages and make the vision fit, put the vision first, forget the ‘blockages’, and work to that narrative. In every present moment we are the culmination of everything our soul forces and eternal spirit have done before. We have to have beautiful visions for ourselves. We are here in this experiment, illusion, game, however you want to call it - and once we realize that, we can begin to experience the game on our own terms - rather than playing to somebody else’s rules (I never agreed to that, actually); I can play the game on my own terms, in a heart centered way, in a way that isn’t manipulative, controlling, or contrived or any of those things.’ - Davyd Farrell

CONTENTS:

Notes on the sterilization of society
Addiction:
Psychedelics and World Religion
The Loss of the Sacred Prostitute
Hitler, Louis XIV, Caesar prey to the ghosts and desires of the flesh
The sexual marketplace is modern civilization and modern capitalism
The terms ‘whore’ and ‘slut’
Notes and Excerptations
The Brain or Organismic Mind as, Simultaneous Receiver and Transmitter of Mind to Mind, of Consciousness to Consciousness – as in Bioplasma to Plasma as in a Membrain(e)
Women in Human Society at Large
The Piscean Age
From Chaos
Becoming conscious as in consciousness inhabiting the body
The lived evolution of consciousness; coming face to face with god, the psychic limit, etc
The Turning
The Archetypal Dimension
The Rising and Falling
Creation in Action (Pseudo-Becomings)
Lecture 1: Saturn Square the Nodes, or, ‘God is the cultural limit’ (Blaise Pascal) – 3/20/22
Lecture 2: Scrying the Planetary Nodes, or, ‘the cosmic order… it is order in here, in our life’ (J. Krishnamurti) – 3/21/22
Poems, Aphorisms, and Lecture Fragments [compiled in full in digital audio form]
‘Realpower’
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Sterilization of society of sexuality - that it is only allowed in prescribed methods, ways, and environments: Controlled by applications and flows.

The fakeness of social life as the thin veneer of ‘respectability’ covering the animal nature of human sexuality and desire and embodiment - a thin veneer which is society/civilization as an inherently feminine protective mechanism as in a social hierarchy of classes and roles through which women ascend as in ‘playing the game’ of male carnal desire. The society or civilization itself is ruled absolutely by the highest value commodity form or fetish, the vagina; the owner of the vagina, the woman, being the one who, truly (regardless of which figureheads manage which social/governmental/private sectors) manipulates the field at large with her choice of selection.

Here, it is a simple game of supply and demand. The woman, excepting of course the most elite and celebrity men, is the one who has a selection from a wide pool of men who desire to fuck her, or have access to her vagina. Therein, she is able to ‘select’ or choose the ‘best possible’ candidate for her ends, or one (or a few) who are given access to her sexually in exchange for various different favors or services or resources or behaviors said man might have available to her. In this sense, her game is to angle men against one another in each dimension of their existences so that she might discern who will (or which one) will best fulfill her desire or fantasy or sexual dream.

Therein, the world is a woman’s playground - regardless of the appearance of her social status - as, with any level of conventional attractiveness, she will at any moment have interested men at her disposal who will be willing to offer up different aspects of their time, money, energy, and resources (and some, their whole lives as in marriage or complete devotion) to the temple of her goddess in order to obtain access to her sexually. Furthermore, it is absolutely to her advantage to pretend as though it isn’t; that she is somehow disadvantaged by this situation of controlled or controlling

desire – as it gives her the socialized and socializing ability (civilization) to ‘switch’ men ‘on and off’ as workers, laborers, desirers.

Women, therein and correspondingly with their perceived level of local ‘attractiveness’, are themselves sexual cults unto themselves - where each fully realizes the value of her body and the manipulative potential of her use of it to captivate, control, manipulate, and extract resources and energy from men.

In this sense, women hate their fellow women - even their ‘closest friends’ as they are all in competition for sexual supremacy as in a lifestyle and lifetime of freedom as in desirous devotion from men who idolize her body and place her at the level of divinity in their lives - as a sexual icon who becomes their own private ‘god’. These men dedicate their lives, worship, and pray at her altar - giving her devotional gifts as if she herself was a deity. This is the role of ‘the husband’ or ‘the boyfriend’. This is the life of the attractive woman in modern society - a woman who, from a very young age, begins to understand the power of her body and is taught how to leverage it in order to get what she wants. Men become the workforces of women – their builders, their shapers, their worldmakers. And it comes to this - that this behavior is entirely enabled by men and the submission of men to the icon of the vagina; furthermore, the sexual form of the woman. For if men ceased to place such value upon the desire for her body, it would cease to achieve such value and esteem purely upon its existence alone. This fact tells the true tale of the superficiality of culture; furthermore, the mutual shallowness of both men and women - a shallowness which is permissible of the superficiality of women by way of mens’ cult worship of female physicality. For this is no cult of the goddess – it is simple objectification and sexual use for genital pleasure and resource accumulation.

Men don’t care about women and women don’t care about men beyond what they can get from them - what women

desire from men (resources, protection, command of his masculinity); what men desire from women (sex). To understand this is not only to understand the relationship therein, but to understand the entirety of the social network as in the society built around these ‘romantic relationships’ - or, as what they truly are, financial investments and vehicles for the path of child-rearing - as in the protectorate of women and children - civilization itself. It is in this way that there is a sexual culture which is an abasement of the eros – or sex as a vehicle for physical masturbation and value exchange.

This method of socialization is an addiction: of men to the brief pleasure of coitus and the sexual worship of the female form; of women to the convenience of mens’ labor and adoration, and the daily life of ego worship which elevates her to a position of false body-self supremacy: to the level of an ego-god. We have, historically, called this addiction, ‘love’ – or the self selective belief, dream, illusion that any ‘man’ or ‘woman’ is fundamentally different from the next; from the rest. And this is precisely the truth that women fear and that shatters the illusion of men to the deity of women – that what is beneath the form is nothing; that the form itself is an evolutionary mirage toward sexual desire – that it is the very biological cloak which draws men in like a siren to her – the very biological cloak which beneath it reveals nothing and no one; that the very personality of the woman hinges absolutely on sexual attraction, sexual attention, and the valuation of her body. And it is this as the society and world we have created by the ignorance (and thus, permissiveness) of our carnality – being dragged by our carnality into a world which is ruled by it; that our consciousness resides in a recedent place away from life; that life is instead ruled absolutely by the lust and the lusting after the ‘beautiful’ form, image, illusion.

ADDICTION:

Sexual addiction, pleasure addiction, habit addiction, ego- self addiction:

States of behavior which are cyclical or cycles of themselves. They repeat not only across and over the span of a single human life but of entire epochs of human existence and Creation themselves/itself as ‘natural cycles’ and ‘archetypal cycles’ alike.

We might say that the creation of ‘man’ and ‘woman’ is a cycle of creation. What would be beyond ‘man’ and ‘woman’?

Ego-self addiction is itself the archetypal mode and modus operandi – it is that the ego self is so thoroughly ensconced within itself as a role, or a biology, or a self conception that it ceases to function as anything but ‘itself’ – as in a belief system which is enacted from the level of self-philosophy into practice as in a ‘prison’ or chamber of ‘life’. Therein, ‘what is’ is ‘what is’ and, thus, there is no Creation, but only the ’created’ as in the limit. Creation, in this sense, is the imagination principle and creative principle itself as infinitely mutable and transformative as in the very energetic structure of the universe itself.

Addiction, in this sense, is a ‘mind game’, or a frameworking or way of viewing life which is intimately tied to ‘the vessel’, or the psychosomatic state, condition, and ‘nature’ of the body drawn toward habits, behaviors, and cycles which ‘elevate it’, or ‘draw it closer’ to what it perceives to be the truth of desire or ‘what it wants’, or ‘what is pleasurable’; in this sense is trapped by and at the very intersection of biology and culture as in a way of life which is always seeking for more of ‘itself’ as in ‘more ego self’ – a self project construction or game which disavows the very Creative principle for the ‘creation’, or the project of construction of the self – an obsessive game which always

ends in the ‘tower moment’, or the very revelation of the Creative principle reemergent from within the ‘game’ or the synthesized belief system or border building and world making bounds of the ‘imaginer’. In this sense, it is the emergence of the imagination as a destructive principle in the sense that it ‘destroys’ the ‘imaginer’ and reveals the imaginer to be nothing more or less than the Creative principle itself, pretending to be something or someone ‘else’.

PSYCHEDELICS AND WORLD RELIGION

That the seers and mystics and sages – and this is the common ground and fabric – used various different psychedelic mixtures (soma, kykeon) and had insight into the structure, source, and root of Creation as a metaphysical, metacognitive lived experience (which is to say that they went into the underworld or into the source and ‘died’ and yet ‘returned’ or were ‘reborn’ or resurrected from the face of God or the source as in returned with the experience of the infinite) – and had or otherwise developed the language capacity and philosophical capacity to ‘model’ this Source language for their fellow men as in metaphor and analog – which is to say that storytelling is the noetic inheritance of the experience of these men who had direct encounters with and experiences with as in becomings of the face of God.

Therein, we come into a clearer understanding of the source of world religions and world mythologies as in the psychedelic experiences detailed by sages, monks, and mystics (many of whom, like Meister Eckhart [regardless of whether or not he specifically had these psychedelic experiences]) had transcendental experiences which shattered the borders and bounds of the conceptual lived reality of the religious/cultural collective at the time and thus detailed experiences and knowledge which went directly against the accepted and acceptable code of the time and age in which they lived.

What is in common here, is also the fertility ritual, or fertility rite, or the regular indulgence and celebration of the sexual/creative impulse and instinct as in the exercise of the erot.

In this way, we observe the ways in which drugs and sexuality were used by the ancients – as ways into seeing and gateways into divinity – not as, strictly speaking, drugs of pleasure and everyday ‘things’ or socialities and frivolities – but,

rather, as gateways into the mysteries and into the source and soil and stone of the gods themselves – as ways for the human being and the human flesh to access inwards and inroads of higher perception and insight through the sense paths and sense gateways. Again, with Blake ‘if the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is, infinite’. The sanctity of the temple of the body, then, as long detailed in Hindu and Buddhist manuscripts – is then of the utmost importance as in the psychic vessel through which the human being has the experience of ‘meeting God’ or ‘coming face to face with God’ and ‘being dissolved in God or becoming One with God as in the present’. The lived experience of high-grade spiritual experience or the ‘non-ordinary state of consciousness’ is then, with Grof, a matter of everyday living and cultivation of sanctity in and as the embodied vessel of consciousness in order to receive, with clarity and with communion, the word of God.

What we observe today is a decadence, a convenience and abuse of the sacred – which is to say the nonthinking hyper- ritualized consumption of ‘pleasure-substances’ and ‘pleasure-objects’ with a focus strictly on deriving pleasure from the act of consumption itself – such as in food and drink and sex and drugs. In this decadence, it is clear to see how man’s consciousness is ‘shrouded’ or ‘veiled’ in a world of constant seeking out and obtaining, or gaining his pleasure; that the civilization itself is organized entirely around this pleasure principle as that which has acquired value. Therein, we do not see the value of the breath itself, or the abstinence and the steady hand of cultivation of the garden or flower or earth of the body in order to receive the nectar of spirit in small, concentrated doses – doses which allow for the true communion to occur in that it occurs, precisely, in an ordained contact or consummation-moment – a movement from ascent to descent, in-breath to out- breath, ecstasy to emanation. In this Nature-rhythm, the wisdom is received, processed, reflected upon and meditated upon, and then digested and excreted as and in the language of the one who has come-to-know, or digested the

nutriments of what the high grade spiritual experience has had to offer him – or the ecstasy of sex and drugs as experiences which, however momentarily, dissolve the borders and bounds of the perceived ‘reality’ of the everyday to revelate a cosmic interconnectedness which is not merely extrapolated upon by the cold instruments of objective knowledge, but felt, with the warm subjectivity of the flesh and then communicated as in a communion of speech, behavior, seeing, knowing, living, being that very Whollyness.

It is the ability to communicate these experiences which is the gift of fire to man, the Mercury, the Prometheus – the speaking of the agni rising.

POSTSCRIPT:

I myself used psychedelics at a young age (ages 15-23 or 24) to break through with all of the sophistication of a battering ram, to the same effect. I did not consciously, as it appears upon reflection, understand what I was attempting to do – and yet I ceaselessly repeated it in and to a mode that amounted to addiction – or the ceaseless striving toward ‘transcendence’, or the achievement of non ordinary ‘spiritual experience’. Here, ordinary simply means (after the fact) grounded knowledge of the high-grade spiritual or metaphysical experience as in a life practice or a wisdom practice in light of the ecstatic – or that one is not ceaselessly chasing after or striving for the ecstasy of literal or metaphorical orgasm as in the orgasm addiction proper (to any such ‘thing’ or ‘experience’ which provides the literal transcendental quality). Therein, in pure presence one finds the balance, or the scales of metaphysical contemplation and physical embodiment as in a ethical rooting in the lived experience of the cosmos lived through the body and an embodied rooting in the lived experience of the vessel of the body through which consciousness runs like a a lightning bolt or electricity from above and below as a conductor of energy – an energetics which, equally, rests deep in the soil

and soul and underworld below as in the spirit and skies above.

THE LOSS OF THE SACRED PROSTITUTE

Womens’ sexuality being instrumentalized as in a marketplace – the sexuality of human existence as in ‘chained’ or ‘sutured to’ the chinks in the cavern of man’s perception: that everything is a commodity, resource, or fetish of desire.

Therein, of course the very life force energy is constantly and continually being distinguished as exploitable, useable, manipulatable as in the current current of man’s consciousness today (popular, consensus, mass), that the earth is the means by which he will build the kingdom of his ego.

Womens’ sexuality is then, by way of this philosophical paradigm which influences everything from food production and consumption to social government, is of course instrumentalized at the collective subconscious level as a resource; she then, by way of all of the signs and signifiers in and as the world around her – proceeds to use her body as a manipulative and manipulating resource to ‘get her way’ or ‘make her way’ in the world.

The paradigm of this childishness is a falling or a forgetting of the wisdom of the ancients, that both sexuality and psychedelic drugs are sacred tools of both the earth (the body, the flesh) and the heavens (the spirit, the life-force-energetic) which flow through and to the human being as if a conductor or a lightning rod or a transformer through which this life force spirit energy is communed with as in self realization as in the ecstasy of revelation of Whollyness.

Therein, women today are not only ‘devalued’, but they are so highly valued, objectified, and possessed by their cultural image that they do not exist but as empty shells through which, by way of a permissive culture which has forgotten the truths in the ancient values (by way of and through the exponential misinterpretation and thus loss of the ancient

sacred texts – the ‘literalization’ of their metaphorical, metaphysical, and metacognitive quality; even the lack of contemporary regard for the wisdom of the ancients altogether, whatsoever). The very existence of the woman today is as a desire object, and thus she is continually filled at any and all points by the desires and wild lust of men and those around her who wish to possess her, accumulate her, consume her, and so forth.

It is in this sense that women are, culturally, politically, and socially, so deeply hated that they to themselves do not exist but are as being dragged by the paradigm – a paradigm of lust for possession.

The woman as the possessed object has been stripped of her sacred prostitution aspect, and now exists in only two forms – the sexless mother or daughter (and beneath this ‘sexless’ image, of course, is the Oedipal), or the material whore, the hole, or the vessel of which we have previously detailed which is that same symbolic ‘absence’ as ‘the body, the earth, the receptive container for the spirit, or the very soul itself.

In this sense, the woman, the earth, and the soul are one and the same archetypally, and are treated as equals in a modern social and cultural context: to be abused, raped, used, and stripped of their sacred interconnectedness as in sexuality or eroticism itself as in the womb of Creation – by a paradigm of literalization and linearity which conceives of woman, the earth, and the soul purely in terms of extraction of pleasure – or a material harvest of which the bounty is purely on sensual, aesthetic terms.

Here, we can see the turn of the feminine (or the Venusian) and the ‘dark side’ or the ‘possessed’ or ‘underworld’ or ‘unconscious’ aspect of the feminine – that which is purely sensual, purely material, purely root and earthly; thus, knows nothing of spirit, spiritude, and the interconnectedness of Nature in which ‘nature’ (as in the

earthly realm) is firmly rooted as in a metaphysics which births the observed aesthetic-physics.

The obsession, then, with beauty and ugliness, filth and cleanliness/purity – is a signifier of this turn of the unconscious toward the feminine quality as that which is and has been and is being genocided – in that it is being extinguished absolutely in the name of purity and beauty as impossible constructs of being. In short, the woman is being demanded not to exist; the entirety of humanity suffers for her lack of individuality and individuation.

Therein, the burden is twice-forth on men – because women do not exist and are not permitted to exist but as psychic children constantly in the state of objectified sex- object quality. It is mens’ desire and the animal nature of men which, unconsciously operating and ignorant to itself in the name of the pleasure which it seeks in possessing the woman’s body – that creates this world-state as a self fulfilling prophecy of the absolute consumption of woman unto nothingness. The sacred state of the prostitute is the alignment of her individuality and sexuality as that which is cultivated in a philosophical atmosphere which indulges her sexuality absolutely but refuses to commodify it, or ‘over- desire it’, or become addicted to it – as in a drug or a substance or an obsession or idolatry. Therein, there must be an elevation of cognition ‘above the flesh’ without an abnegation of the flesh – as in an embodiment which does not deify the root impulse, but instead uses the root impulse in order to circulate energy, currency, and life force.

In this sense, this is not only a matter of ‘human sexuality’, but of how sociality and social mechanisms are constructed, viewed, and considered – as in an ecosystem of human sexual energy. The very concept of ‘the free marketplace’ betrays itself: that it is an infantile freedom in which there is no discipline, no rules, no bounds, only the free expression of what (in the child’s definition of ‘freedom’) is only its own desires, pleasures, fetishes, dreams, illusions, and so forth. The only true freedom is the freedom from illusions as in

the knowledge of the source of Desire; the knowledge of Desire itself and its many faces, functions, forms, and progressions and processes as that which is the very nature of Creation itself.

Without the real existence of women but as empty shells for the projected fetish and desires of men, humanity lives a half life; both men and women become deeply unhappy. Women, receiving all of the attention of the idol – wonders why she feels so inhuman and nonexistent despite garnering all the worldly attention and favor she desires. Man, giving all the attention of the idolator – wonders why he feels so isolated; in such dissatisfying relationship with one who appears to him to be nothing more than a ghost; one who has learned nothing more and nothing less (nor developed any such philosophy or strain of higher cognition) beyond using her body or sexuality or ‘weakness’ to get what she wants from him and the rest of the world. So we can see what this paradigm actually proves: that men and women alike – in indulging this root impulse and reveling in ‘the free market’ of sexuality – have done and are doing nothing more or less than a project of dehumanization of the feminine and base obsession of the masculine upon that which he desires at root – her body, her vagina, access to her sex.

And of course, this is not to ‘demonize’, or ‘condemn’ these root desires, but rather to understand how to use them, ‘discipline’ them (as in a conscious use and awareness of how they function). In ‘self-discipline’, man is led by his consciousness (that which is truly Himself); not his impulses, ‘desires’, and reactions (biological and cultural alike, ‘himself’ as conjecture, or projection or screen of consciousness unconscious of itself; unaccessing of itself. Man’s impulses, by placing them upon his own leash of himself as Consciousness – come into higher power and greater awareness and wisdom of themselves and their own innate power as aspects of his incarnation by way of conscious use and discharge: like Hercules with his leashed Cerberus. Unleashed, of course, the impulses act with raw

carnality until they are exhausted and the cycle repeats – continually functioning on a ‘lower plane’ of consciousness without any sort of metacognitive training or ability. And, alas, this is how a great portion of the world’s men and women function: entirely led and dictated by their impulses and desire toward instinctive and immediate pleasures. This is, in simple terms, the relationship between the ego and the id, or the conceptual self and the root desires which feed and encourage the establishment of the conceptual self as project (I seek to obtain pleasure in the form of sex and money, so I become a celebrity or a politician or a banker who will do whatever is needed in order to obtain my pleasure).

And we see here the difference between pleasure that is like a hit of ecstasy and regular devotional practice to and in understanding the source of Desire as Desire as a sort of lovemaking with the true and higher Self – that the ego is in devotional stance not to ‘obtaining pleasure’, but to the very source and essence of pleasure which is Goodness and Love, the relationship wherein the ego is unto the superego; the id is revealed to be the superego in ‘the disguise of the ego’. Therein, the id is accessed (or the libidinal) by way of right orientation toward Desire as in a regular practice of meditation as living – a meditation that is ceaselessly oriented toward God, toward Desire itself as in the life force energetic which empowers the entirety of the ‘following’, or the ‘flowing’ – the ‘human being’, the ‘earth’, the very and various desires which flow like a network between all things: such as a flower’s desire to bloom, a tree’s desire to flower, and a man’s desire to love a woman.

It is in this sense that the modern world was constructed entirely ‘by accident’ as a natural outgrowth of the process of the evolution of ‘human’ consciousness by way of a collision course – or a series of apocalyptic realizations which occur only in apocalyptic times as in an impossibility to continue on the way as things once were – or the necessity of a psychedelic (r)evolution of the true nature of

consciousness and the living in light of that true nature as in the harmony of God’s kingdom on earth.

It can be seen that, throughout history, there have been increasing numbers of men who have come into consciousness of this – by way of developments such as the internet, the printed book, use of psychedelic plants and medicine men and shamans, explosions of literary revolutions (Tolstoy, Dostoevsky, and the Russian tradition in particular) – and that we can see the entirety of human history as in a movement or motion of consciousness toward ‘wholeness’ or holotropy – that in the very in-breath and out-breath which is the blink of the eye of the entirety of human history, it can be seen as a microcosm of the creation and destruction of the universe as in the ‘birth’ unto the apocalyptic revelation that it has, in fact, never been ’born’ or emerged from consciousness; that it is consciousness itself envisioning itself as in a dream of separation or a ‘self construction’, or a sandcastle which appears to be ‘all too real, decadent, castle-esque’. Here, we have Nietzsche’s synthesis: ‘all too human’ – and we must ask – is ‘human’ not the dream consciousness is having; furthermore, should we not wish to fulfill the dream as in actually becoming human – which is to say, absolutely and absoulutely rooted in a soul consciousness in, as, and of our very humanity and humanness itself?

THE ARCHETYPAL REPETITION OF ‘MODERN’ AWAKENING

Even without these ancient rites, men still awaken today; there are still experiences with the goddess; the archetypal process of the ‘veera’ remains. I must ask myself now, during this period of the cusp of adulthood (at the ages of 17 and 18) the series of unconscious experiences which I underwent – namely the ingestion of psychedelics and the encounter with A. – to be part of that very archetypal awakening process described at the outset of the text.

These awakenings and these archetypes re-emerge continually throughout the cyclings of human civilization in many ‘forms’, Shiva, Orpheus, Osiris, Dionysus, Lazarus, Jesus – and so forth; they do so emerge as in the lived experiences of men. For the encounter with A. it seems cannot be separated from the psychedelic encounter as in an encounter or initiation of metaphysical awakening or the coming into metaphysical consciousness in that they constitute ‘consumptive’ encounters or shattering experiences that awakened the agni, or the fire, as well as the ajna, or the god-eye.

For I remember, clearly, the sexual experiences with A. where there was a rising of the thread, or the relation, or the Shakti in the body in what came to me as a literal encounter with the goddess, or as she appeared to me, A. herself at the time. Of course, the relationship in an abstract sense could not and did not hold, and eventually ‘ended’ – but the encounter (or even, series of encounters) in which the kundalini energy rose extended on for years as a prolonged period of involution ‘after’ the mutually ecstatic and copresent experiences of deep psychedelic exploration into the framework of the psyche (the soul, the cosmic within and without), as well as the sexual awakening experienced in the coupling particularly with A. – someone who, the more I reflect upon the experience – that at the time felt deeply empty – not in a ‘self-full’ or ‘selfless’ way, but as an active

embodiment of life itself. This is to say, that, perhaps because of our age (I, too, had a shifting sense of ‘self’) she had not yet come into ‘whoever she is now’ as a ‘person, constructed’ – but rather, embodied a certain purity of youth which I met with the purity of my youth and the desire and willingness to meet her, naked…

And to be present with her in that space – not to be drawn out by self conception, thought, or an imbalance of power or age or anything – but an utter presence as in the Desire actualized even if in that brief moment which abolished all but pure Desire itself. I did not meet her with anything but Desire; I took her with nothing but Desire which arose in me to couple with her.

What can I know, now, of her heritage, of her past, of the nature of her soul? Who she pretends to be, and who she was? But can I only know of her as myself, as pure consciousness, the pure form as Desire imbued in all things? How now can I distinguish her from that realization which is? There is no true way to return to that moment of consciousness as an explosion or a dissolution of the bounds, of the ego structure, of the delicately established ‘something’ which became ‘all-source’. There was no ancient rite or ground laid for this initiation; now I can only recall and reflect, in the sense that I can relate to the call of others, elsewhere, in other times and spaces – the call of the soul…

‘He did them all… but none of them had given him full awakening. So he went to his Kaula teacher, which was about the sexual union of male and female. The wife of his teacher initiated him into the Kaula. And that one ritual gave him full awakening. So just imagine, that all of the other philosophical schools were great – but it was a woman that initiated him to the other side, that brought him to his full awakening of Kundalini, his full being. He wrote about it later; it was described as a Kaula act: the exchange of bodily fluids, fluids, sexual act, the awakening of Tantra… so even though later on he taught more philosophical types of Trika, he got his awakening through sexual union. We

talked about it earlier, that Kundalini is sexual energy converted into spiritual energy. This is the whole teaching… it is about challenging what is considered as taboo in a society… hallucinogens, alcohol, meat, they did them all. These cults of Kaula experimented with everything.’ – Raja Choudhury

In my madness, I became everyone and anything. In my madness, I became nobody. In my madness I became a woman, a man, in my madness I became ‘David Bussell’ and the one without a name.

In my madness I searched desperately:

For the answer For the lover For the reason For the purpose For the meaning For the truth For the end For the beginning

And in my madness I believed in what I found; what I found was the conjuring of my own pure madness –

Brought to light, fucked to death, grappled with, reasoned with, submitted with the pure force of feeling and desperation of living – with such a desperation that I throttled existence into a corner and murdered it with language and declared myself victorious: instituted myself in its stead – its conqueror.

But as my madness enveloped me, nothing remained. In this sense, I truly became my imaginings. I became enveloped in them; my ‘I’ became transmissible, permeable, transpersonal; the thin cell membrane of ‘myself’ exploded out into the terrarium of life and taking on every member, abjection, limb, toad, rock, cliff face, … and they call took on human faces: full masks of flesh, with names, voices, and the very consciousness of myself within them.

In my madness, I fell – until I entered the world soul; until I passed through the primordial gates into the sea of being.

Hitler, Louis XIV, Caesar prey to the ghosts and desires of the flesh

They in short, believed they existed. The madness of the ego is a tyranny, a maze, a labyrinth - to which there is no center but only a deepening, a sharpening, a harshening of the pain and misery of an impossible existence - the existence of the ‘I’, the existence of the world-self - the existence of ‘something’ in juxtaposition to ‘something else’.

There is no true psychological ailment or condition other than this – the condition that invokes in men aspiration: the desire to accumulate, consume, dominate, control, manipulate, and advance himself in an imagined staircase of power. It is, in this sense, that the madness of the ego self is an inflammation of the soul extending beyond the mere survival of the body into an obsession unto ‘extension’ – or the creation of a teleological prosthetic body which stretches the world over: as such, the incorporation of ‘everything’ into ‘oneself’. And this, of course, is the soul’s journey – but it is a soul’s journey refracted through the prism of an outward glance; the construction of an ego self which has taken tyranny and reins over the soul as in that which proclaims ‘it is’; yet, fails to see the source from which it is projected ‘into reality’. It takes itself as truth; as such, takes that which it ‘observes’ or ‘imagines’ to be equal truth. And yet, it does not know what it is or what it is that ‘imagines’.

To know the source of imagination is to know that the name is false and merely a placeholder and a mask for that which animates the face; for men such as Hitler and Louis there is the decadence of the self construction which leaks out into the surrounding world primarily by way of sexual behavior, which is always the behavior of power and violence in the world. The disposition of the individual is the sexual disposition of the individual; each individual is correspondingly oriented to the world through the prism of desire – an orientation which is ultimately one’s orientation to Oneself as in that which lies between self integration and

the alienation of the lacking-object – or that which must be incorporated or exhausted for the soul to process existence.

For when the soul takes or desires a position of power, it desires first and foremost to move into a place (or a palace) of distinction from the rest of the world souls – which is to say, it desires to differentiate itself in a separative movement – or to tear at the very fabric of interconnectivity by way of a violent pulling away from life. In this sense, the soul takes a position of distinction and in doing so ceases to live by taking on a role, a mask, a position of power which inherently puts itself at odds with the network of life in the institution of a hierarchical method: a hierarchical method which is inevitably the taking on of a character.

For the soul to become anything, it must pretend to be something that it is not. In this sense, the soul is the consummate actor and the shaman archetype par excellence at root because it is the impulse or the upshoot or the flowering of a flower which no longer appears to be of a seed as it emerges from the soil. It may play at the senator, the murderer, the woman, the postman, the soldier, the beggar, and the king – and we do see these characterizations today among human beings as seemingly differentiated selves with seemingly differentiated erotic desires, myths, nightmares, wishes, and truths – all stemming from that which the soul desires to see, experience, and partake in in this lifetime. For this truth forms the very fabric of human existence itself as in an entwinement of a kaleidoscope of ‘realities’, all of which stand in accord and juxtaposition and yet in perfect harmony with this ultimate truth. It is in this way that the sages say that Maya is also Parabrahman.

For Hitler is an archetypal role, like Mussolini or Alexander, or Putin – in the sense that his archetypal role is one of contrast – or that we see in the psychology of Hitler the very confusion, addiction, and grappling with sexuality and base human urges and desires and questions of aesthetic beauty and cruelty which characterize the entire human race and human question but in an ‘outsize’ manner – the very

outsize manner of his soul’s seeking as in the attempt to distinguish himself or raise himself above the masses by making them his political chattel. The tyrannical ego is like a mad shepherd. In his political actions regarding the state, there is not much difference between Hitler and Moses – but in Hitler’s instrumentalization of the Luciferic principle – or the disregard for any such commandment of God.

In Louis’ court, like with Hitler, there is an emphasis on decadence and pleasure – to the point of which the self fulfillment principle of the ego is a global sadism – or that it tramples and takes and takes in order to fulfill and quench its own mammoth thirst: a thirst which cannot be fulfilled – as it knows not its own source. It is like a river without a mouth; one drinks from the river not knowing from whence it came and laps up the poison therein: the very poison which is a lack of self knowledge. For the soul, in these lives, is positioned and oriented firmly outward; in these lives the soul took again and again without repercussion and reached such heights of taking that it acquired an erotic taste for the taking itself (see the motto: ‘pleasure at all costs’; the rise of de Sade in the process, as well as Hitler’s supposed erotic fascination with murder on the battlefield) – a taking which is simultaneously the rise and inevitable fall not only of the historical figure of the soul, but the paradigmatic empire itself (France, Germany, America, Rome, and so forth). For it is no mistake you see the rise of these powerfully charismatic and hungry souls at the cataclysmic age of empire – for they represent the collective condition of the psyche – a condition at the edge of bursting: a condition swollen with decadence, softness; a culture starving with desperation, hunger. The paradox here is clear – that these souls stand in the breach of empires being torn at the seams by extreme wealth disparities, starvation, and turmoil – and promise remedy by way of a convenient truth, or otherwise a pilgrimage of violence, a scapegoat, or an excuse for the sins of the decadent. But what is the possible excuse? Men take when they can, unless they live in true fear, awe, and devotional reverence of God.

For these historical men, strongmen and conquerers alike, their devotional icon and totem is ego; this prayer to the icon (or the Moloch) is prayer to the image divorced from God; it is this same prayer to the image which is a forgetting of God and the institution of capital; moneychanging in the stead of devotional practice. It may be seen in these cultures – the rise of what is lazily called ‘immoral’ behavior, or ‘anarchic’ behavior – but what is really a behavior of ‘free market desire’ without knowledge or understanding of the source of Desire itself; hence a lack of true understanding of the metaphysical principles (or ethics, tenets, virtues, building blocks) which form, transform, reorganize, create, and decreate ‘the physical world’ in which a variety and myriad of indulgences and pleasures are available to the sense body and the ego self at any given point in time.

And this is precisely how men are led astray: by the cold sciences of analytical philosophy at the time of Hitler; the consumerism and pure materialism at the time of today’s America; what Cicero remarks as a ‘moral failure’ of Rome’s statesmen, as well of its view of and for education. All of these remarks could not only describe the fall of each of these empires, but the men who captained their Icarus march to the earth in the sun’s reproach – or that each outside tyrant and their reign of tyranny can be characterized primarily by a lack of virtue and a failure of values – a philosophical problem which is also a political problem which is a lack of true self knowledge, or a rule from within, or a living from the kingdom of God of the soul’s true nature – a living from understanding the true nature of Desire – not the flailing enactment of each and every inflammatory impulse.

The sexual marketplace is modern civilization and modern capitalism

Therein: women are desiring the highest value men (men who have the most resources, or goods and status to offer them); men are desiring the highest value women (women who have the most sex appeal to them as in ‘conventional attractiveness and beauty’).

This is the marketplace at large: wherein women are consistently sold and bombarded with appeals to their lack of youth, beauty, fitness - as a motivation to make their product (their body) ‘better, fitter, more profitable’ as in attaining or acquiring the ‘high value man’ who will provide her with a contractual agreement of resources for her sexuality. Therein, her sexuality as in her desire-appeal to powerful men (and culture/society as a whole) is her greatest possible skill and asset - outlarge beyond any and all ‘intelligence’ or ‘knowledge’ - in that her sexuality is already incorporated to her, with her, as her very body, vessel, physicality.

In that the woman’s sex is the commodity, a man’s sex is not sufficient value to buy or acquire her sexually - but rather, as it is that she is in demand, her ‘product’ (her sexuality) is market viable in that it can demand an exponentially greater cost than its ‘production’ (free, or inherent). Men, in this sense, are fundamentally in a position where their sexuality is negligible on the market as his form is not the commodity form (the female body). Rather, he is the purchaser, or ‘consumer’ of capital in that he must buy his way into sexual relationship beyond the bounds of his pure existence - which is to say with materials, labor, resources, further capital, time, energy, and so forth.

In this sense, man’s cultural role is to acquire resources, labor, work, and ‘outperform’ other men in order to attain the highest value women, or the women he desires - by way of his superior social standing from a resource standpoint.

Therein, the ‘high value woman’ (highly sexually desired) can justify her exchange with, accordingly, the ‘high value man’ (highly resourced) - in that he can pay the price for access to her sexuality. Accordingly, as by her perceived ‘market value’, she commands, in return, ‘high market value’ of a man’s social and economic resources returned to her in exchange for access to her sexuality. This price is paid not outright as in the sense of ‘prostitution’, but rather covertly, as in the marriage contract, her allowance of access to and use of his resources, status, and so forth by way of purchases and ‘shared capital’.

Importantly, we can see here the connection and interrelation between this process and the slave trade on auction blocks: that men were selected by work capacity and ‘concubine slaves’ (or female sexual slaves) were the only slaves that commanded a higher price than the skilled male slaves. This, too, can be seen in extreme (read: criminal class) examples such as penal colonies and gang initiations: where gangs will sexually initiate women and beat men; penal colony punishments will be reduced for women who display their bodies, wherein men receive no such treatment – as they have nothing to sell, give, or exchange – as their social resource value in these situations is nonexistent.

There is, in this sense, strictly speaking no ‘romantic relationship’ in this mode of human existence which might be called at root of even the term ‘capitalism’ the sexual marketplace of female bodies which extends outward into the social and cultural context as in a sort of brothel or monopoly on sexuality run by women for women. For each woman understands in her relationship with other women and the men who desire her the purchasing power of her sexuality; the consequences of ‘making her sexuality ‘free’’ (ostracism and condemnation from other women to whom she is ‘disrupting the marketplace’, as in refusing to make her sexuality a commodity). As such, women do not do this - they either engage in implicit prostitution (‘the romantic relationship’) or explicit prostitution (direct exchange of money and resources for sex). Again, as the male form is not

the commodity form but is as the role of the purchaser or consumer of female sexuality, he is afforded none of these privileges and abilities. He must use his body to labor - whereas the female form is afforded not only the privilege of primary commodity form (that which is desired and sold accordingly), but the social, cultural, and political/institutional status of the ‘protected being’ - as in the valuable commodity form and asset of and to the state itself - that which, in turn, represents the health and wealth of the state itself. Therein, the man is thus - the soldier, the laborer; the expendable engine of capital (the worker for woman) - unless he is in a position of ‘managing capital’ (or overseeing to make sure the work gets done for women), as in a ruling class man, or a ‘high value man’, who, accordingly, has access to ‘high value women’ (desirable women) by way of his resource bearing ‘power’.

To see this game at work is to understand what is truly going on in civilization and humanity as a whole - as a form of extended marketplace power relations which exclude even the possibility of true relationship between men and women who have sexual desire between them as in a friendship where sex is indulged as a mutually desired pleasure. The marketplace mentality is so culturally ingrained into the fabric of male and female sociality that it is conducted and organized from a young age to such an extent that men and women have very little in common beyond the transactional, which is to say that the man is buying what the woman is selling. The very necessity of the man to acquire purchasing power places him in an entirely different sphere and set of relation than and to the woman (unless he was born incredibly rich) - in that he, from a young age, had instilled in him and understood that he had to work in multiple facets of himself in order to place himself in a position to survive in a marketplace which inherently does not value him beyond his resources. In short, to the world, a man is his resources. A woman, however, is born with her resource; the primary and base commodity of all social orders - her body; in particular, her vagina. This is the prize of civilization for its reproductive capacity; the

prize of the men who desire her in the sense that they desire her at a biological level. And, truly, both are used: the woman is mercilessly objectified all her life - both by the men around her and the society at large (as she is judged and valued for her body and her body alone); the man is considered nothing unless he has resources. Neither can truly be said to exist at all whatsoever beyond the superficial

the body and the bills.

In this sense, we can come into a clearer understanding of how virtues and ethics arise in a society based around the sexual marketplace; just how quickly and deeply corrupt such an ecosystem can become. If a woman is focused on surviving, she is focused on elevating her status as in her body and appearance in order to attract a high value mate. Furthermore, even if she is able to survive by other means, why would she wish to do so? If she can achieve a certain level or baseline of perceived social attractiveness, she can acquire a mate who is able and willing to provide for her to such an extent that she will never have to work again, beyond, perhaps, to maintain her appearance in the mirror. And for a man, if he must have resources, not only to survive but to acquire social status, acceptance, legitimacy, existence, and sexual relationship? He will dedicate his entire life to the (often merciless) pursuit of the possession of resources in order to legitimize his existence; in order to, in the eyes of society and a great many of the women around him - actually exist.

We can see here what this does to the overarching social, political, cultural, and philosophical fabric. In short, it is a disaster for any sort of real human culture, connection, advancement, understanding - of life, one another, at all whatsoever. It creates - not only a cutthroat atmosphere of economic ‘free market’ competition ‘across and within’ gender lines - but it fosters an environment of blatant superficiality and shallowness: where men are obsessed unto warfare and violence with acquiring and possessing resources, and women are equally obsessed with perpetually refining their appearance, their faces, their breasts, their

bodies - in an endless carousel of modifications to enhance their perceived value and status. And nowhere, absolutely nowhere, in this equation is any sort of self awareness, critical thinking, wisdom, philosophy, or study of the interconnectedness of life - unless it involves, somehow, in some way, a big check or the promise of some form of aesthetic bodily enhancement.

The entirety of a cultural life lived like this is one lived absolutely on the surfaces: which is to say a cultivation of a pure materialism (as history, of course shows) stemming directly from this sexual marketplace mentality which is the first capitalism - or that which stems from times when men (by use of force and strength) acquired resources and women (by way of a lack of physical force and strength, perhaps excepting some) were in a position of economic and social disadvantage by way of pure resource inequity. For if men were in possession of the resources in the tribe or group, what would persuade them to share? Sex? Family? A child? Intimacy? Caregiving? And so forth. In the ‘ancient world’ (not at all unlike today) men used physical power to take by force; women, as in raids and wars and insurrections – were taken by force as prizes, wives, and slaves.

We can see how these roles began to be established as economic relations by way of necessity; we must ask, are they still truly necessary – in an age where wars are fought by drones and nuclear standoffs; where machines slaughter animals for food and women have entered the workforce and colleges in droves - by their own desire and volition to better themselves? And what does it mean to refuse them in this day and age? The answer will be, surely (at first) uncomfortable for women in that it will mean they must relinquish their hold on sex as a coercive, implicit commodity form (which surely, will be a project they will defend and struggle for til the bitter end). Why? Simply, because it is to their advantage. If men could use their sexuality to receive social and resource favors from women, surely they would never work again. Why? Because sex is enjoyable, particularly with someone of whom you already

feel a sexual connection or spark with. For a woman, their sexuality as a desired commodity by men who will gladly exchange their hard won and labored for (or else inherited) wealth is nothing short of an ideal situation. Even if she chooses to take on work or education, at any moment she is assured of a ‘fallback plan’ or option – which is to enter into a contractual (explicit or implicit) relationship with a man wherein she provides access to her sexuality for resources and even a livelihood at the hands of the laboring man. Has this ever been the case for man? Even in the rarest of conditions – it is not the norm. A man looks over his shoulder, and understands quite clearly that he does not have the sexual favor of his body to fall back on – in a comfortable, consensual, mutually sexually desirous relationship with a woman where she will afford him financial favors in exchange for access to his sexuality. And we must ask, was it ever that a woman, or women for that matter, could not acquire for herself? Or was it that she was simply never put into a position where she had to? And what does it mean today, for a woman to desire to undergo this ‘initiation’ into the workforce and educational system – with the knowledge, all the while, that she has this sexual marketplace system standing by?

This is not to devalue the woman’s movement toward personal sovereignty; in fact, it is of the utmost necessity for women to achieve personal, economic, and political sovereignty in order for this system of the sexual marketplace to end. But the question is, will she truly accomplish this if it is left up to her? And furthermore, can such a sovereignty be accomplished in a world which is designed as a safety net to and for her at every juncture? In this sense, a woman will never understand what a man undergoes on a daily basis – not only to survive, but to even be realized or recognized as a human being – if he was not born into wealth, power, or privilege (the resources which afford him humanity) – just as a man will never understand what a woman undergoes on a daily basis as a sex object who is tasked at each juncture with selling herself. Both situations are prisons of impossible identification, where

both parties lose, however ‘decadent’ the woman’s situation appears to the man, and however ‘self-empowering’ the man’s situation appears to the woman.

And today, as the world of men and male dominated professions, institutions, and cultural bastions not only begins to open up to women, but prioritize them on the basis of ‘social and economic equality’ - the question must be asked: are we going to allow this outdated model of sexual transactionality to continue to occur and dominate the landscape of sexual relations between men and women? Furthermore, can we even call these ‘marriages’ and ‘relationships’ such things at all whatsoever - beyond, pure and simple, products of male economic viability and female desirability as in sexual and physical attractiveness? How can we change our world to entirely outmode, not only the structure and system of the sexual marketplace as a facet of human existence, but the stuctures and systems emergent from the sexual marketplace as representations of it – which is to say, the very world and culture and economic system in which we live today?

The woman, in every possible movement and gesture, is selling her wares, advertising what she has to sell: her sexuality, her desirability. This is what, at each possible moment, she captures in order to display.

The man, in every possible movement and gesture, is selling his wares, advertising what he has to sell: his resources, his wealth, his capital, his desirability. This is to say the oft quoted adage – that ‘rich people don’t look rich, only poor people look rich’.

A man’s life is a status symbol that must stand in for wealth, power, and prestige in order to not only exist but to be desirable. A woman’s life, however, is a sex symbol that must stand in for her existence. In each situation, the living being is nothing more or less than a letter in an alphabet, a number, or a symbol in an exchange of values. This is the very essence of slavery – in the sense that the living

breathing being is reduced to a price, a function, a role, and is consigned to perform that role unto death or sale or ‘escape’. We can see here the interrelation between this essay and an essay in one of my previous volumes on the trans-Atlantic slave trade as economic modernity. It is the condition of slavery which is instituted under the guise of the ‘free market’ which is, in actuality, only a free market of human bodies and human labor being bought and sold by those who can afford it – as in those who are ‘positioned above’ the rest as in the ‘high value’ men and women engaged in a game and power struggle for biological and cultural supremacy – not only among their own sex, but between sexes – and even in their very ‘intimate relationships and friendships’ these dynamics remain and are even intensified due to extended and extensive close contact – wherein these social, cultural, and even biological conditions inevitably surface and ‘come to light’ in the ways in which a woman will degrade another woman or conspire around her, spread a rumor around her or otherwise use her sexuality to disempower or disenfranchise her, or a man will seek to upstage another man with a display of wealth, power, or ‘masculinity’ in order to impress a woman or claim status.

Of course, the only way ‘through’ or out of this game is not to participate – but if any vestiges of the biological urge to engage in sexual relationship or human friendship remain – it will be felt, observed, and engaged. This is to say, unless one finds those others who not only no longer wish to participate in this game but are actively unlearning it from themselves. For it is not just ‘capitalism’ or ‘civilization’, but a cultural and biological rooting in deep history as in a sexed way of behaving, an organismic mannerism, a programming. However, the more conscious and aware we become of it, the more we are able to change, alter, and refuse it if we do so choose. A large part of this is understanding that our sexuality is inherently multifaceted and playful, not just a commodity to be sold to the highest bidder – as well as an understanding of the interconnectedness (without profit and loss) of the sexual

nature of existence itself. Therein, there is no such thing as ‘high value’ or ‘low value’ – simply waveforms, densities, frequencies, and ‘images’ of life force energy fluxually, differently; transforming with light.

TRUE LOVE is living in light of Oneness; living as being at One.

‘Human romantic ‘love’’ at this point in time in history is nothing more than a resource exchange; transaction of desired objects.

Therein, the man does not exist but for his resources; the woman does not exist but for her sexual viability and desirability. Each is substituted for their ‘symbolic’ value – as a dollar bill is symbolic of value. We do not, today, know true value as a holisitic knowing, a life force flowing: a living embodiment of Desire. To buy and sell eros is to experience it through a veil, a screen, a moneychanging.

‘And Jesus went into the temple of God, and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the money changers, and the seats of them that sold doves, And said unto them, It is written, My house shall be called the house of prayer; but ye have made it a den of thieves.’

— Matthew 21:12–13

‘And making a whip of cords, he drove them all out of the temple, with the sheep and oxen. And he poured out the coins of the money-changers and overturned their tables. And he told those who sold the pigeons, "Take these things away; do not make my Father's house a house of trade".’

— John 2:13–16

The terms ‘whore’ and ‘slut’ are terms for women to use against women as in ‘sexually promiscuous’ women who do not abide by the implicit market rules and engage in sex freely with men. This, of course, is precisely what men desire (unless he is seeking to possess her himself (exclusive sexual access) by way of a ‘purchase’ and use of his resources). Such developments as OnlyFans and Patreon accounts of women selling images and videos of their bodies, as well as pornography, are natural, teleological extensions of this phenomenon in that these women are either engaging in ‘direct prostitution’ (the sale of sex for money, resources) or ‘indirect prostitution’ (the sale of sex as in ‘relationship’ or ‘marriage’ as in a contract or agreement for money, resources, in exchange for the man’s access to her sexuality). Therein, those called ‘whore’ or ‘slut’ are either those engaging in ‘direct prostitution’ (or, in other words, exposing the sexual marketplace for what it is on a literal and explicit level), or, perhaps even ‘worse’ (in the eyes of women), the women who are engaging their sexuality in and on equal terms with men - as a pleasure, as a loving of mens’ bodies and copulation with mens’ bodies and men on the very terms on which they engage women: the terms of sexual desire. Such a woman disrupts the sexual marketplace by way of offering her sex ‘freely’ as a mutual desire and on those terms alone she must be shamed, exiled, or otherwise by her fellow women and the men who have already invested themselves in this marketplace as in ‘the male purchasers, or consumers’. Male ‘purchasing power’, in this sense, is the man’s life where (consciously or unconsciously), he abides the marketplace in order to ‘obtain’ or ‘possess’ a woman who (under the terms of the agreement) will provide him with sexual favors and sensual comfort in exchange for the resources he holds which she judges as an adequate rate of exchange - that he is paying, in standard market terms, not only for the parts or equipment themselves, but for the labor of her choice, the convenience, and the opportunity to be her choice. It is as such that these men are engaged in an economic process which is not only inherently unequal but exploitative on behalf of their life’s work as something they must ‘trade’ or

‘exchange’ in order to acquire sexual favor - or the ability to copulate with the woman, whose body is not ‘earned’ or ‘labored for’, but rather acquired as in inherent. Some women will argue that makeup and fitness and botox and other such methods are ‘labor’, but when we compare this to the mens’ work of conquering, war, hard physical labor, mental toil solving complex theoretical problems - we quickly see just how different ‘men’s work’ and ‘women’s work’ really is. And this is not to say that women cannot do ‘men’s work’, as they have and often do, even in increasing numbers. But here, it is to say that they do it with a social and cultural safety net - the sexual marketplace, which they can fall back upon effectively as a ‘retirement’ from the labor force in order to ally themselves with a man who will exchange resources for sexual access.

Of course, men and women both desire sex - but it is rather how they have been socialized (or not socialized) to view and regard sex which creates, establishes, and reproduces this marketplace. Mens’ lack of discrimination and ‘control’ (read: self-discipline) of his own sexuality (which is really an infantile form of desire without reflection or cognition upon the source of desire; the conscious channeling of it) creates an inflated marketplace, where male sexuality runs wild and is obsessed with, infatuated with, and perpetually imagining the goal of its (organismic) life - the insemination of the woman. Therein, it is only a natural reaction for women to understand their perceived value in and as a marketplace of sex - a marketplace in which they may leverage ‘that which is desired’ or the commodity fetish itself, her body, in order to obtain favors and resources in increasing orders of magnitude corresponding with the orders of magnitude of her perceived desirability on the marketplace. Therein, we can see the consequences of such a affair of trade and profit by way of a mutual ignorance and childishness - which is nothing more or less than a weaponization of base, animal desire: an ecosystem and environment where, ultimately women oppress women (often by way of their male managers and gatekeepers operators of the sexual marketplace as in politicians and ‘social and cultural

‘leaders’’) to repress and repurpose and repackage their sexuality into an object-relationship, or a container in which the woman and her womanhood; furthermore, her life, are objects to be bought and sold to the highest bidder - sexual objects, commodities, with corresponding values which she must maintain or advance or leverage by way of various different procedures, cosmetic enhancements, workout regimens, starvations, et cetera. This is (as it is culturally perceived) - the value of her humanity: her market value. Furthermore, it creates an environment where the obsession upon the female body is doubled: that women spend their lives in a state of constant self objectification which is an exile and disbarment from the lived life of the inner self; that men spend their lives in a state of constant resource accumulation in order to ‘afford’ the women they desire sexually - creating not only superficial and distant ‘relationships’ and ‘marriages’ between women and men, but an ‘equal and opposite state’ of male subjection to the marketplace: which is to say that they don’t exist unless they exist as consumers - that their value in the social and cultural context is and relies solely upon their purchasing power. These men, as do the women in a ‘body’ sense, spend their entire lives seeking value externally, or as and in the accumulation of valuable objects and resources in which he might exchange and barter for the sexual object of ‘woman’ - that which he truly desires. For woman desires the object (the [laboring, life] resource) and man desires woman as the object (the [sexual] resource). We can see here just how loveless and desireless this economy truly is - as it relies on the superficiality of purchasing power and ‘aesthetic’ flesh to function; beneath it there is nothing - as these very men and women - upon reaching ‘the top’ (as in the ‘high value’ or watermark of culture and sociality) themselves represent, embody, and inhabit the very extreme archetypal nature of this paradigm: which is to say, a spiritual vapidity, a sense of self based entirely around animal lust, desire, and possession; as such, are the rulers of a social, political, and philosophical world which is owned and operated entirely from and around the id, the unconscious, the animal nature. In this sense, moral

corruption, Machiavellianism, narcissism, and other such psychological states and characterizations of ‘human beings’ who will do anything to get what they want; furthermore, become anything or anyone to be perceived as socially and culturally valuable, important, and ‘existent’ - is not the exception - it is the rule as in the economic and social condition proper.

These characteristics are beaten into men and women, many of whom often struggle deeply with the economic system which mutually objectifies both of them as in the creation and establishment of the subject-object relationship, or consumer-commodity relationship. Such men and women struggle with a variety of mental and physical health conditions as they seek to navigate a world economy which is based entirely around their mutual exploitation as laboring bodies (men) and sex objects (women) - an exploitation which denies a whole half of each of them by way of mass coercion and suppression: that women desire sex for pleasure as men do, not just as capital for her survival; that men desire to be sexually valued and perceived as aesthetically desirable as women do, not just as laboring bodies who are meant to acquire resources in exchange for sex with women. However, this is not to say that these two forms of social and political oppression are equal: that the man’s nonexistence is predicated upon that which he must labor for or otherwise be born into (his wealth as his status); that the woman’s nonexistence is predicated upon that which she is, quite literally, born into (her body). In this sense, men are nonexistent ‘beyond themselves’ (as in the accumulation and acquiring of resources so as to double back and give their embodied consciousness ‘humanness’), wherein women as aesthetic and sexual objects are nonexistent in the sense that they are taken at face value as a body; this body therein is the status of her ‘humanness’ as such. Although each of these ‘conditions’ are born from and as the same process, the status of mens’ nonexistence as ‘consumers’ cannot be compared to the status of womens’ nonexistence as ‘producers, or sexual objects’. Therein, however much

‘purchasing power’ men have, women, at the end of the day, decide the going rate of the market.

And as I use this language, and continue to have used this type of economic language, we can see how unappealing and sad it is to view the life of sexuality on this term. It should be something joyous, spontaneous, playful; not ridden and riddled with the baggage of financial decisions, sexual reputation, social repression, and other such mechanisms of the creation of power by way of the disempowerment of certain aspects of humanity and individuality which are necessarily impossible to truly disempower - because they are fundamental aspects of life. And yet, this is how the state of social and sexual repression operates - at the level of mass coercion from each side struggling to actualize base desires in an economic system (which many participate in and reproduce, if not from a place of total ignorance, then from a place of fear, coercion, power, and control from ‘above’ as in the ruling classes) which mutually dehumanizes (although in different ways, and to different extremes) men and women alike. For it is necessary for this sort of moral panic and silence around the ‘romantic and sexual relationship’ to be present and occur in the social fabric, if not covered up by platitudes and empty calls for ‘justice’ and ‘equality’ - as if they are not discussed and analyzed in a rigorous logic out in the open so that they may be understood by both men and women alike (and in understanding, many men and many women will be and would be rightfully outraged at the loss of humanity and interconnectedness which is, has been, and always will be possible between them), they may be perpetuated as in a war, a gulf, or a economic competition between men and women, women and women, men and men, for the sheer and mere opportunity to fulfill even a fraction of their sexual, sensual, romantic, intimate, interconnected desires - not just for sex, but for a truly fulfilling, intimate relationship wherein lovers are also, in the sense of a shared inner being, friends, confidantes, and deeply trusted partners. But in such a sexual marketplace, how can any such relationship come into being when it comes into being

by way of the sexual marketplace? The two, three, or four or more must be very conscious and aware of how these dynamics not only influence romantic relationships, but the entirety of the social, cultural, economic, and political fabric of ‘human existence’ at this point in time in human history. For these dynamics, consciously and unconsciously, terraform the very personality at a psychological level by way of weaponizing desire; manufacturing it into a marketplace under ‘survival of the fittest terms’ - wherein ancient survival instincts are being used to not only separate men and women into distinct economic units, but leverage them against each other as in pairings, tribes, ‘families’, and sects which have a vested interest in keeping ‘the other’ at bay as in the one who has less money, is less attractive, viable, or socially ‘desirable’ by the standards of the day, etc. For if ‘the other’ is not kept at bay, ‘the other’ risks infringing upon the delicate (and deeply unsatisfying) precipice and balance of the former: the one with the marriage based on and in control, domination, and a financial transaction for the permission of desire; the one who desperately clings to ‘the most wealth’ or ‘the most beauty’ as it slips from their hands like sands in an hourglass.

NOTES AND EXCERPTATIONS:

Arendt’s ‘banality of evil’ –

“For when I speak of the banality of evil, I do so only on the strictly factual level, pointing to a phenomenon which stared one in the face at the trial. Eichmann was not Iago and not Macbeth, and nothing would have been farther from his mind than to determine with Richard III 'to prove a villain.' Except for an extraordinary diligence in looking out for his personal advancement, he had no motives at all… He merely, to put the matter colloquially, never realized what he was doing… It was sheer thoughtlessness—something by no means identical with stupidity—that predisposed him to become one of the greatest criminals of that period. And if this is 'banal' and even funny, if with the best will in the world one cannot extract any diabolical or demonic profundity from Eichmann, this is still far from calling it commonplace… That such remoteness from reality and such thoughtlessness can wreak more havoc than all the evil instincts taken together which, perhaps, are inherent in man—that was, in fact, the lesson one could learn in Jerusalem.”

Plasma is superheated matter – so hot that the electrons are ripped away from the atoms forming an ionized gas. It comprises over 99% of the visible universe. In the night sky, plasma glows in the form of stars, nebulas, and even the auroras that sometimes ripple above the north and south poles. That branch of lightning that cracks the sky is plasma, so are the neon signs along our city streets. And so is our sun, the star that makes life on earth possible. Plasma is often called “the fourth state of matter,” along with solid, liquid and gas. Just as a liquid will boil, changing into a gas when energy is added, heating a gas will form a plasma – a soup of positively charged particles (ions) and negatively charged particles (electrons).

Because so much of the universe is made of plasma, its behavior and properties are of intense interest to scientists in many disciplines. Importantly, at the temperatures required for the goal of practical fusion energy, all matter is in the form of plasma. Researchers have used the properties of plasma as a charged gas to confine it with magnetic fields and to heat it to temperatures hotter than the core of the sun. Other researchers pursue plasmas for making computer chips, rocket propulsion, cleaning the environment, destroying biological hazards, healing wounds and other exciting applications. - MIT Plasma Science and Fusion Center

‘Because our souls… are more like these angelic figures who desire to have these experiences to evolve in a particular way.’

‘The same fundamental patterns that birthed the universe birthed humanity; the same patterns that birthed humanity are within man’s very capacity, will, and hands’.

‘‘Within every single atom is a vishnu; within every single vishnu is another universe’. The electrons revolving around the atom are a self similar pattern to galaxies; to brain neurons; microorganisms to macroorganisms within the very cells of the human body.’’

‘Finding an attunement with these cycles’

‘There can be no space without form; no form without space’

Timothy Halloran

‘Nothing rests, everything moves, vibrates, circles, and cycles’

‘As above so below, as without so within’ (Cosmos & Psyche)

‘With every action there is an equal and opposite reaction’

‘Gender is manifest in everything’

‘Everything in creation is dual; each has an opposite; every manifested thing has a pole’

‘The Feminine principle is always in the direction of receiving impressions, and has a much more varied field of operation than the Masculine. The Feminine conducts the work of generating new thoughts, concepts and ideas, including the work of the imagination.

The Masculine principle is always in the direction of giving out or expressing, and contents itself with the “Will” in its varied phases.

It is said that there must be a balance in these two forces. Without the Feminine, the Masculine is apt to act without restraint, order, or reason, resulting in chaos. The Feminine alone, on the other hand, is apt to constantly reflect and fail to actually do anything, resulting in stagnation. With both the Masculine and Feminine working in conjunction, there is thoughtful action that breeds success, which points out that both the Feminine and the Masculine fulfill each other.’

The Kybalion

NOTES CONT.:

Spirit and plasma, soul and form.

On cultural physician work: ‘I study your behavior and patterns of behavior in order to understand what you’re doing when you don’t even know what you’re doing, nonetheless why you’re doing it; furthermore, how this behavior interrelates to larger social, cultural, and historical

behaviors and trends of consciousness - both ‘natural’, ‘cosmic’, and ‘human’’.

Nature: phenomena of perceptual (perpetual) revolution - samsara.

Dance of sun and moon, man and woman, spirit and flesh, phallus and vagina, night and day

Imbalance in the self (as in the paradoxical unity of the masculine and the feminine as in the interpenetration, the intercoursing of the spirit and the soul): narcissism, lust, neurosis, and so forth.

Abhinavagupta on Ignorance:

"Ignorance - the cause of wandering in circles (samsara). The reason for the release of Ignorance is not places without knowledge, because the lack of knowledge can only be in non-animate objects.

Therefore, it is ignorance in reality, this is (limited) knowledge that does not have the nature of all- encompassing cognition (as in Ishvara) in relation to the entire totality of true objects subject to cognition. ~ Tantraloka

I am happy, I am unhappy, I am attached. These and other states replace each other.

In the highest sense, there is no happiness, no suffering, no subject or object, not even a state of ignorance, but there is only That, the Absolute subject (whatever you call Him), and His manifestations, expansion, emanation. Only after losing all defilements, all karmic debts, all possible clinging of the ego to the end - we gain freedom, moksha, mukti, pure existence, sat-chit-ananda.

He expanded on the signals he heard in a 9 February 1901 Collier's Weekly article entitled "Talking With Planets", where he said it had not been immediately apparent to him that he was hearing "intelligently controlled signals" and that the signals could have come from Mars, Venus, or other planets. – Tesla

Tesla’s perennial experimentation was also a perennial willingness to be ‘wrong’. Tesla was never ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ in that he perpetually experimented, explored; lived a philosophical life of being-in-process.

A being is a planet born in relation to other planets as in a note in a symphony or a flower in a grove.

Where attention goes, life force energy flows – as in blood through a limb.

Each soul has a different desire-path, flow, and journey. How, then, could a society which organizes people into roles and figures and hard identities or ‘human-abstracted-selves’, be effective, or even ‘human’? Does not, the soul in the course of its journey in massive time and massive space, change names, faces, places, races, genders, sexes, species, worlds, dimensions, lights, figures, and forms? Is it not, even at last, pure spirit and consciousness, the very mutable and transformative and transforming principle of life essence itself?

‘There was a general understanding, prior to the centuries of our present culture, that the earth was alive, with subtle but powerful forces flowing through its body, the land. These concentrated at various points that came to be regarded as totemic spots, sacred areas, power places, or temples, depending on the local culture. Each of these locations had its own quality, tutelary deity or ‘spirit of place’ --- genius loci. They were points of geographical sanctity’ – Paul Devereux (chakras of the earth-body?)

There is a dearth of facts. There is a perennial aliveness of the sensation of archetypes, life, and the raw power of existence which has a thousand faces – or a thousand archetypal nodes, chakras, or power-points in and at which the sense of aliveness is so strong in a particular orientation or ‘way’, that it appears like a god or an angel, a path or a direction – a calling which emerges from a place which cannot be known but as a sacred ground, a chthonic ground – a summoning up from the darkness of the soul, the self, the primordial nature of existence which speaks through the mouth and orients the being toward its very source, self, and nature. Therein, Jacob wrestles with God on the mount which he calls “Peneil’, or the place where he came ‘face to face with God’ and survived; emerging with a new name blessed by the angel-God-man with whom he wrestled – ‘Israel’, meaning:

Jacob then demanded a blessing, and the being declared in Genesis 32:28 that, from then on, Jacob would be called ‫ ִיְשָׂרֵאל‬, Israel (Yisra'el, meaning "one that struggled with the divine angel" (Josephus), "one who has prevailed with God" (Rashi), "a man seeing God" (Whiston), "he will rule as God" (Strong), or "a prince with God" (Morris), from Hebrew: ‫שרה‬, "prevail," "have power as a prince").[31]

Because the terminology is ambiguous ("el" in Yisra'el) and inconsistent, and because this being refused to reveal his name, there are varying views as to whether he was a man, an angel, or God. Josephus uses only the terms "angel", "divine angel," and "angel of God," describing the struggle as no small victory. According to Rashi, the being was the guardian angel of Esau himself, sent to destroy Jacob before he could return to the land of Canaan. Trachtenberg theorized that the being refused to identify itself for fear that, if its secret name was known, it would be conjurable by incantations.[33] Literal Christian interpreters like Henry M. Morris say that the stranger was "God Himself and, therefore, Christ in His preincarnate state", citing Jacob's own evaluation and the name he assumed thereafter, "one who fights victoriously with God", and adding that God had appeared in the human form of the Angel of the Lord to eat a meal with Abraham in Genesis 18.[34] Geller wrote that, "in the context of the wrestling bout, the name implies that

Jacob won this supremacy, linked to that of God's, by a kind of theomachy."[35]

Bioplasma is seated in the protein semiconductors, or piezoelectric organic compounds. To have charged particles and excited states in both plasma and in the body, it is necessary to provide energy in various forms. This process is done by the chemical release of energy through the metabolic processes, and through the provision of energy from the outside, through the human senses. Bioplasma is a tangible medium of life and is the ground of consciousness.

Adamski, NeuroQuantology

In 1949 in The Growth Concept of Nervous Integration I stated that the brain did directly influence the pituitary. There I developed equations showing that the brain acted as a force of growth toward its own body while behaving as “computer-composer” outwardly. Guillemin and Schally in separate researches have recently proven the point… I describe the tissue-cell “sending system” and the brain's “receiving-transforming” systems. The “sending system” results from the concept of cytoplasm as a true bioplasma of measurable biophysical proportions. It amplifies the already known attributes of the double helix. The brain's “receiving- transforming system” includes prefrontal-temporal lobe interplay integrated with alert-alarm mechanisms (RAS). From 1953 to the present, I have named this system the paraconscious to differentiate it from the previous Freudian systems of consciousness with which the paraconscious co- exists.

Schneider, Journal of Psychosomatic Research
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THE BRAIN OR ORGANISMIC MIND AS, SIMULTANEOUS RECEIVER AND TRANSMITTER OF MIND TO MIND, OR CONSCIOUSNESS TO CONSCIOUSNESS – AS IN BIOPLASMA TO PLASMA AS IN A MEMBRAIN(E)

Theorem:

The brain itself is instrument. Therein, the instrument may be played in a variety of different ways if the instrumentalist is conscious of oneself as being the very instrument through which the instrument is played. This is metacognition. Therein, the brain is the conductor, or semiconductor – of consciousness to and through Consciousness itself: bioplasma through plasma. Herein, we have the conjecture of the organismic (or the ‘individual’) and the cosmic (or the Infinite); the relationship between the macrocosmic structure of the universe itself (over 99% of the universe is composed of plasma); the organism itself as ‘manifest’ or ‘manifold’ universe itself (55% of the organism’s blood is plasma; the remaining 45% is cells suspended in plasma. Therein, we have the very structure of the universe in regards to planets and planetary bodies suspended in ‘space/time’, or that which, in the subtle dimension, or the 4th dimension or state of matter, is plasma as in consciousness – or that which is highly in-active – in that it is so energized, or so ‘hot’, that its very atoms are ‘individuated’ (A plasma is a gas that is so hot that some or all its constituent atoms are split up into electrons and ions, which can move independently of each other’). Therein, what we are talking about is a form of consciousness as consciousness itself that is simultaneously deeply granular and deeply personal – in that they are composed of electrically charged particles in interrelation with electrostatic and electromagnetic fields and forces, or invisible fields and forces of energetic communication and interpenetration as in networks of space, or nervous systems wherein charges, pulses, and centres of high energy as in ‘plasma gates’ or ‘chakras’ as in concentrations or focuses of in-action as in communities of high

frequency and high energy in-ter-action are occurring forming coagulated beings of blood. Consciousness, in this sense, is their conductor, or organizing force – or that which they are which is also that which runs through these very networks as the ‘blood of the cosmos’, or that which and therein ‘suspends’ the planetary bodies as in cells in their interrelation as in fields, forces, and play.

Plasma, then, is also the sexual life force energy or the currency or the very energetics of the cosmos; it is that which is stirring inside of man that is in the very nature and sense of the word emotional; it is also his sense of aliveness as in the current and currency running through him as and in the transformer of the brain which is a receiver and transmitter of electricity and electromagnetic signals – wherein the heart is also a large electromagnetic field and transformer. These energetic centres are chakras of the human body, much like chakras as in sacred sites of the earth in which plasma is highly conscious, focused, active, concentrated; as in universal space as in suns and stars as highly concentrated balls of plasma. The intensity of these concentrated energetic fields is their ‘aura’, or their influence in regards to gravity, pull, and subsequently orbit as in concentrated beings-planets focused around them as composed fundamentally of them in various different densities and concentrations. A density, therein, is a consciousness in various different states and stages of consciousness of itself – as in its very makeup and light nature as in a energetics, or a in-warming, or a site of self knowledge at which the star rises, or expands, or knows, or bes, or breathes from within – as in an expansion by way of consciousness interconnection and interrelation which expands the magnetic field, breadth, and breath of the being by way of a conscious relationship to the whole, or to the source. Living from the heart centre, then, for instance, is living from the largest electromagnetic field in the human body (60x greater in amplitude than the electrical activity generated by the brain) – as in a coherence, or a frequency of interrelation which is aware of, in whichever terms (‘scientific’, ‘spiritual’, ‘devotional’) this epicentre and yet

‘everywhere’ nature of consciousness; furthermore, the inherent and innate permeability as in membranes and membrances of this Oneness which exists as truly whole (Paramatma) as in dancing between itselves as in the dance of Shiva and Shakti as interpenetrative energetic fields and threads as in a fabric or a matrix of creation constructed by way of a weaving of a thread, or the thread of Tantra. This thread, of course, is no such ‘linearity’ but rather a metaphysical thread which is the energetic principle woven to and through itself in spheres ‘ascending and descending’ the ’staircase or Jacob’s Ladder’ from macrocosmic to microcosmic – as in that which is occurring within the very cell and blood and heart of the human being; as in that which is occurring within the very galaxy and sun-star of the greater cosmos. In this way, it suffices not only to speak about and of the soul but to elevate the soul to the seat of the heart in that it is the greatest link to the divine; not only is it a ‘link’ but the divine itself manifest in ‘human form’ as in a transmitter or a two way radio or a two trillion way radio between the interrelated forms, figures, and vessels or planetary-cells of consciousness proper which are all speaking in various different densities and dimensions and frequencies and forms, ineffably about eachother as themselves as Itself as Oneself – or that in these various different states of consciousness and concentration they are in various states of Self awareness as in the universal Nature made and making consciousness of itself (or ‘making light of itself’); as such, use different languages, tones, resonances, and harmonics in their speech as in their centres of gravity as in their centres of electromagnetic reception, field, and flow of information as in plasmic and cell knowledge. For these plasmics and cells to ‘know of themselves’ is to be aware of themselves in and as ‘the greater field’ of the cosmos as in the very composition and fabric of the universe and as such doing the ‘in-work’ of the cosmos as in a work of infinite mutual reception as in an intercoursing as in a membrance, or a dance of membrane inception, reception, proception, interception, conception, and dance of meaning in which information which is always already of itself, to itself, and through itself is being transmitted through various different

interdimensional fields and ‘selves’ which are consciousness itself in myriad ‘forms’ or ‘faces’ as in in relation to themselves in various different ‘states’ of ‘density’ or ‘matter’ – but really, various different ‘states’ of frequency, vibration, and remembrance or memory or remembering which is plasma remembering itself as in the hot raising of the stone gods.

WOMEN IN HUMAN SOCIETY AT LARGE

‘Women never had to develop logic get their point across. They only had to argue up to the point where a n* was scared he wouldn’t get no pussy.’ – Patrice O’Neal

‘Ladies, stop getting guidance from your dumb girlfriends. They don’t fuckin know shit. What do you know? You can’t know shit. You don’t know shit cause you never needed to. All you had to do was walk around and have guys want to fuck you. That’s it. What else did you do to learn how to fuckin’ argue with me and make sense? She makes no sense. Here’s what women do: they have a movie in their head. Its starring them, its guest starring them, its directed by them. The only thing they don’t do is edit it. There’s no editing in the fuckin’ movie. Oh they play the villain. Cause the villain will be me, or the villain will be you. But they play you - this bitch over here will tell me what the fuck I said. My girl will get up and go to the bathroom; something will happen, I’ll look down at her feet or something; she’ll go ‘What! I know what you’re going to say, that I need to lotion the back of my ankles’. The other day I had to put our relationship… I go, ‘look, you’re getting so sick right now, right this minute - that we might need to - not break up - but you might need to go explore another guy who’s gonna go ‘you’re gorgeous’ or ‘you’re oh’ every five minutes’ - I said ‘find that guy; as soon as he lets you get sick and you don’t respect him no more and you call him a pussy’… if I let you do what you were getting ready to do on this radio show just now, where you were going to get out of control, how would I ever get you in control?’ – Patrice O’Neal

‘Women get this ego, defiance - where they think they’re better than men. They can’t even get to logic. A second step, a second thought, anything beyond the immediate emotional judgement, reaction, response.’ – adapted from Patrice O’Neal

And, socially and culturally, the above statement has been affirmed. They ‘are’ ‘better than men’, in that they have been shown, affirmed, and reaffirmed time and time again – that the emotions of a woman trump all logic and rationality – that the emotions of a woman are the philosophy of society.

They have been so privileged by a society that does everything to accommodate them, take care of them, and even idolize their bodies and sexuality - to the point of which they’ve developed an entire marketplace of resource extraction from their basic sexuality - that they never once had to develop any sort of capacity for logic, rationality, or real thought. They’re essentially psychological and intellectual children who have been spoon-fed their every desire because of the inherent, social and cultural understanding (a understanding cultivated and led by men in desire for women’s bodies and sexuality and attention) that their very sexuality is ‘above’ any sort of logic or rationality because logic and rationality (cultivated by men to solve complex world problems) continually cedes (due to male weakness) to womens’ base emotionality - which is to say that their one step emotional reactions and outbursts are eventually caved into by weak men who fear that they will not be able to obtain sex from the woman if they challenge her in any way.

In this sense, women have come to expect their feelings to be validated by men; not only validated but accepted and established as law. There are entire social institutions (education, electoral government) that are now; have always been precisely organized around this principle – ‘good feelings and bad feelings’ – as law. Even within the ‘legal system’, this principle continually seeps up and in through the soil of ignorance, unknowing, and lack of true rationality and logic. This is to say, that women are the most extreme example of this principle – ideologies and belief systems that are incredibly small: as in formulated by one or two steps of ‘logic’ which amount to no more and no less than the thought put into them, if any; furthermore, the pure emotion

which organizes the aesthetic experiences of all of those who not only are not philosophers (thinkers about thinking), but all of those who have never had, nor had to have, a serious thought in their lives about anything – those who live entirely from a state of organism call and response, self preservation and self interest at the root and level of the ‘life and death of the organism’ – a totally primal, animal, and based state of self organization – one which is, in every sense of the word – psychologically, socially, mentally, spiritually, and intellectually – infantile. This is to say that they have come to expect that everything will be taken care of for them; that the prevailing social fabric/ideology/faith/sympathy/sexual desire of men or of society and civilization at large will not only protect them, but it will provide for them and even elevate them to the status of sex symbols/icons/celebrities, just for displaying their bodies or flashing their ‘material wealth’ or appealing sexually or sympathetically to the help, aid, and assistance of others (men) in exchange for sexual favors – et cetera.

Therein, a woman’s life is organized entirely around the fantasy of herself as ‘good’; not only ‘good’, but as a righteous person, or a princess, or any such archetype which, necessarily, altogether excludes everything which does not affirm this ‘goodness’; furthermore, anything which could even possibly contradict this self image of herself being morally righteous at the level of her very emotional state. Again, this is typical of a child or an infant in that if her emotions or desires are not validated or confirmed or accommodated – it is not by any fault of her own – but rather it is ‘the other person’s fault’ or ‘the world’s fault’. In this sense, the woman is not organized by any such principles, logic, rationality, ethics, reason, or virtue – any sort of real philosophy (steps of inquiry, observation, relationship to ‘other’ or ‘cosmos’, or anything that is not immediately her perceived sense of self as her ‘sense body’). She is led by reaction to her sense of feelings; her sense of feelings are this ‘logic’ in that they are the prevailing rule of law in her world; as such, everything is judged as morally ‘good’ or ‘bad’ based on how it feels to her ‘realm of sense perception’. Therein, she is deeply imprisoned to a false truth or state of existence as an infant is trapped by

sensation – without any sort of reasoning faculty or greater power of metacognition – her brain and her body function absolutely at the level of two dimensions: that she reacts to stimuli and that these reactions are justified purely based on the emotion said stimuli arouse within her.

Therein, nothing is real to a woman but her own feelings and emotions; it is this fact and this fact alone that women are aware of; in this sense her world is absolutely shifting, absolutely moral-less, philosophy-less, thought-less – in the sense that it has and acquires no ground other than the pursuit of ‘what feels good’. In this sense, the woman, like the infant is lawless; unlike the infant, is equipped with her sexuality to manipulate circumstances in her favor (in favor of her good-feeling emotions); like the infant, is equipped with her appeal to weakness, helplessness, and ‘inability’ in order to manipulate circumstances in her favor. In this sense, the woman is the natural outgrowth of the infant – which is to say the psychology and mental ability of an infant in an adult female body; precisely the reason why this psychological and mental ability remain infantile is the pervasive influence of her sexuality on men from a young age. Few men will admit that as soon as (or if not earlier for some men) a girl begins to mature into a woman, a woman gains immediate sympathetic and sexual favor with men who desire her sexually, consciously or unconsciously. Even with their fathers, women are treated with the same kind of sentimental preference and blind adoration and precious ‘love’ that men give to their wives and girlfriends – a ‘love’ which is really a blind permission in favor of their sexual desire elevated or ascended to goddess adoration, or sexual totemization and symbolization of woman into the object of desire, or the fetish par excellence.

The woman is ‘handed off’ from her father (or even her mother, which is a negligible difference because her mother is a woman) to the men in her life – her teachers, boyfriends, lovers, friends – all of whom will provide her the same preferential treatment out of fear of desire or fear of social/cultural retribution (as this is the state of

contemporary human existence) – the same preferential treatment which privileges her feelings over all else; particularly logic, rationality, or anything with the semblance of ‘reality’ beyond the one true reality in human’s society – the emotions of women. And in this sense, even when it is not the emotions of women ruling a situation, it is the fear of men to lose the emotional favor of the women they desire which rules the situation.

Therein, the methodology that rules among human beings is a methodology which ‘runs wild’, or is the emotionality of a woman proper, or (as a logical extension) the rationality of a man who is afraid he will lose the emotional favor of a woman – so he acts irrationally in order to rationally retain said woman (or womens’) emotional favor. Therein, even the supposed ‘rationality’ of men or the fields in which ‘rationality’ is championed are fundamentally broken, flawed, and teleologically smashed in the very first step they take – a step that is altogether forgotten and absolutely unacknowledged – that the favor of a woman’s emotions rules mankind. All such studies, scientific analyses; grand statements of truth run by this human reality and existence – unless they are in defiance of the very ‘good graces’ of women, fame, adoration, and the cult of women as in humanity itself. This is what it means for certain poets to be exiled from the city – in that they fail to accommodate by way of a refusal – the social order which is adherent to a fundamental and basic, accepted, even subconscious state of ‘human’ madness.

This basic corruption is the basic corruption of mankind; it is the death and absence of true rationality – we barely know what a true rationality could possibly look like precisely because it is skewed by the ‘facts’ – or the facts of the matter of humanity itself rationalized by human beings who are seeking human integration into human society, sociality, and the very desire and desirous nature of their incarnate bodies. These men and women alike (by the failures of permissive and weak men) have constructed a society and social fabric based on the appeasement and adoration of womens’ emotions and

feelings such that women are psychological and intellectual infants, and men are subjected and submitted to these infants by way of their sexual desire for them. This is, too, the weakness of empires, civilizations, and societies the world over – with whole cults of ‘female divinity’ conjectured entirely around the sexuality of the female body; the men who worship them to such an extent that their every action, movement, and thought is about the appeasement and obtaining the good graces of these women. And these women, in true fashion, like children – know this well and are aware of it and use it to their every advantage and manipulative capacity. For who wouldn’t? This kind of power, certainly, corrupts. To approach any man and be able to not only seduce him to pleasure and satisfy you physically, but to possibly even get him to finance your entire life; to care for you and structure his whole life around cultivating your health, wellbeing, and safety?

And this is precisely it, that women don’t even need to approach men to gain this favor – men approach them, men chase after them; in fact, men beg them to serve at the altar of their lives. Is it any wonder, then, that these women serve at the very altar of their emotions as absolutely and abundantly ‘True and The Truth’? For they are accepted as such by their slaves and servants, men, fathers, boyfriends, social servants – and all else who desire them or else desire by their ‘noble code’ to serve women, to serve society (the social contract by, of, and for women – historically – written by their husbands, the righteous family men and patriots of political yore).

It is in this way that humanity very rarely gets glimpses of any sort of cosmic truth, but as glimpses by men who not only have disavowed the cult of the service of these child- women (truly, sirens) – but the cult of nation, ‘family’, and other such social, political, cultural, and economic totems – all of which are devotional monuments to the power of women; in particular, the power of their emotions to not only sway men, but the course of social and political affairs themselves by way of swaying men. For if we see this

manifest in the world, we see all social interactions among human beings (and of course, a great many animals with even remotely similar biological, sex, and social structure) proceeding in this devotional unto pitiful and sad submission worship and acceptance of what can only be called the devotion and worship – at a deeper level – to the animal nature of men and women alike – men in their sexual desire and the ‘romantic fantasies of love’ which follow as abstractions of the literal carnality into the fantasies of euphoria; women in their surrounding cult and culture which deifies them and thus, in so many ways, takes their potential lives by taking its own (as in, perhaps, a Romeo and Juliet -esque movement) – in that the very male deification of their sexual desire itself and projection of said desire into and onto and through the cult of women as in an expressive movement (and the failure to realize Desire as a transmutation of sexual energy into higher form, ‘the work of the magician’ in working with self-disciplined creative energy, which may be directed, transformed, something one may come to know intimately and engage in a variety of fashions and ways and methods as life force energy itself) has also, simultaneously, and mutually permissively, moved with the female cult and deification of sexuality as a system of economic favors and resource accumulation (implicitly and explicitly) as in the peak fetish and the peak commodity – the most desired and in demand ‘thing’ at the level of the libido; as such, an embodied desire at the level of the base sexuality of men to such an extent that each and every ‘desire’ (money, fame, power, influence, respect, and so forth) of the world is a desire of and for the erotic nature of women; the erotic coupling with her, her erotic respect and the juices of her lust and desire for him as in a validation of his own potency, supremacy, greatness, existence, masculinity, and so forth. This very female cult is the mutually permissive intellectual and psychological infancy of women as in their inability to form logical or rational solutions; furthermore, the mutual ball and chain of and upon men, who submit their logical and rational solutions to the cult of women – her problems, her desires – all of which are feelings, so fleeting that they come and go. Therein, this mutual suppression is a suppression of

human development in and at both hands – one which deeply benefits women at the most superficial level (survival and surface level satisfaction of being desired, the fulfillment of their feelings as ‘positive, ‘right’, ‘true’, ‘affirmed by the world’, etc.); deeply strips men at the most superficial level (that they submit to the desire for the approval and desire of women for them is that they retard not only their own development, but their own process of self knowledge and logic).

And yet these are not superficial levels: they compose the whole of modern life (and human life itself) – as a self contained hell of the fulfillment of base, petty desires – as the very ceiling of humanity is the emotions of a woman. Excepting, of course, thinkers like Newton, Tesla, and Einstein – thinkers who made novel discoveries and deeply engaged the processes of logic and rationality by way of observation of nature – thinkers who came into increasing degrees of self knowledge and cosmic revelation – precisely by way of seeing through this veil of ‘human society’ and ‘human behavior’. For we cannot call it human; both men and women, it resides purely at the level of the animal – at the level of submitting one’s own possible higher faculties, continually, in the name of the fulfillment of the lower. This is the ball and chain, forged by man himself, that not only retards his progress and process of self knowledge, but deeply retards the progress of women. It holds him at the level of an adolescent; holds her at the level of an infant. For the two, perhaps, have, until this point, had no need to go much further than this – in a ‘self’ serving Eden in which the paradise of desires are not ‘lost’, but rather perpetually fulfilled as in a mutual slavery to the bare minimum.

THE PISCEAN AGE

Disempowerment as in dispossession as in disembodiment occurs from the failure to understand these dynamics as in ‘embodiment of them as in a possession of them as in a possession by them’ as in a ‘living within humanity’ or ‘living under the ceiling of humanity’ by way of a mutual, intersecting possession at the level of the bios and culturos as in the binding of desire, or living in the state of sin as in hell, or the condition of continual submittment and recreation of base desire situations with base desire outcomes without any sort of metacognition (or breaking the wheel of samsara by way of thinking about thinking) – or movement away from the embodied prism of ‘reality’ toward the question of ‘who am I’ and ‘how do these conditions arise in my belief and the belief in ‘this is who I am’’? One realizes that the answer to this question is not only an ‘individual’ salve, but a ‘cultural salve’.

The possession by these dynamics is the age of the savior, or the age of Christ as in a projection of salvation from without (someone will come and save me from my ‘lower nature’ as in my indulgence of my lower nature without reflection) – whereas the true nature of Christ is in Christ consciousness, or living from the heart center which is the space wherein there is no definition, no words, ineffability; the very space which is the interconnectedness and ultimate reality of all things in their essential form – the very world soul which composes them. Therein, we work backwards from Infinity – slowly beginning to understand and unravel the dreams, illusions, and lack of discriminations which crystallize consciousness into thought-forms, or ‘believabilities into lived ‘realities’’. This is such as, religion, art, and other such forms of consistent, persistent imagining and belief which have formed the bars of human cages as in conceptual realities, hallucinations, illusions, and definitions which have piled up like layers of sediment atop the lived life of the human being – such definitions as ‘good’ and ‘evil’, ‘good and bad’, ‘man and woman’, and so forth. In other words,

we are stripping back ‘the humanity of our world’ to reveal the very essence of humanity as in the essence of existence; thus, from that point, able to enter into a diagnostic from the position of total negation into the absolute reality; working backwards into the social problems of the ‘human world and society today’ – problems which are, time and again, ignorances: ignorances convenient and subconscious alike.

To be possessed by the ignorance of humanity is to live in the body or take the body to be ‘myself’; furthermore, to live in the city or take the city to be ‘myself’; furthermore, to live in the world or take the world to be ‘myself’. As in we remove these sheaths, or strip the clothes of unreality further and further from within to without, we notice a corresponding relation from without to within – as in the furthest infinite point of blackness, emptiness, absolute abyss and sleeping Creation is that very still point within us. This is meditation; it is also realization of the fundamental fabric or chthonic ground of creation which some fear as ‘death’ or ‘abyss’ – and thus they run from themselves into definition and images of desirous dreams. And each of these definitions and images of desire collapse – whether in moments or millenniums – at the hands of the Infinite Creation – the very mechanism of Creation which is, in and at its heart – stillness, silence.

This disempowerment as dispossession is the looking, the searching – from without for what is everpresent within – the union of the poles of thinking and feeling, spirit and flesh, in-breath and out-breath; the disidentification from this still point within true embodiment (or the reception of the spirit by the soul in the axis of the flesh as in the flame of the heart(h) is the abnegation of this world; the fleeing into illusion to escape the fear of the embodied, lived reality which is a direct line to the center of the universe – the heart center of the incarnate self which is the self within selves within Self – or within the very spheres of the microcosmic and macrocosmic – the very thread which connects life ‘great’ and ‘small’ directly to the divine source of Creation, Itself. Rather, the mode moves from a looking

to a listening-within, or a looking-within – by way of the eye which does not look without.

From Chaos

‘From chaos, other states emerge’. Chaos: boiling a kettle to produce a new state of creation. (re: Pam Gregory)

From heat to water, water to earth: ice to water, water to mud, mud to man; the air eater, fire – who brings the word and speaks:

Prometheus!

Chaos is the pychological arousal, or the action and interaction of life: mind bumping up against the bound it has synthesized between itself and Mind, or that which it has ‘forgotten’ or ‘disremembered’ or ‘dismembered’ at the encounter with is the Face of God itself, the disembodied self reembodied in the facing of it.

Chaos, or, the inner state of dissonance between the emotions, the mind, and the heart: the water, air, and fire of the earth-body of man as in the Nature of Becoming.

In the arousal, the emotion spikes, the mind lags (and struggles to comprehend the forming or fracturing inner constellation of self; the dying of an inner star of belief, of being); the heart beats ‘out of time’ as in the birth into time, or as in the splitting into pasts and futures; fears of the future, shades and shadows of the past. In the arousal and the wrestling, or the confrontation, the being integrates Itself as in Being Itself, Being.

Chaos is the reminder of an incomplete remembrance – one in which we are thrown from the present into the flux of the past/future chiasm, or the self/world divide, or the right/wrong moralization – all as movements into a dual state of consciousness in which one part of the cosmic body is forgotten; this very chaos is the ‘being born of the human being’, or the very forgetting which is the being born ‘from’ Being into a ‘Paradise Lost’, or being surrounded by the

divine and being as the divine and yet synthesizing ‘the divine’ in our minds as the very split between ‘the consciousness’ and ‘the unconsciousness’ as in man and the heavens, man and god, god and the devil, earth and heaven, earth and hell. And this split is the psyche of the cross, or the cross of matter upon which the illusion of man is hung like the flesh of Inanna in the depths of the underworld as she undergoes her transformation. For Inanna is not her clothes, which she is commanded to strip off before the underworld, nor is she the flesh hung therein – but the transformed and transforming soul and psyche which undergoes a death and rebirth process as in a death to the illusion of separation and a rebirth as in the remembrance of wholeness as in the embodiment of the Cosmic Being as oneself; the very aliveness and vibration of the cells of being as the Stars of the Cosmos; the bioplasma of being as the Plasma of the Cosmos; the very blood vessels which pump through the legs, arms, face, and chest of Vishvarupa, or the cosmic Krishna, or the cosmic Christ.

And each chaos node is a node at and in which the psychic being or the psychic body is (k)notted as in a trigger point, or a irritation or an inflammation which can most easily be described in human language and human terms as in a muscle knot in the body or the inflammation of a tendon as in that which (due to overuse or underuse, addiction or forgetting (as one and the same)) – has become a site of aggravation or notable pain not only within and as the ‘psychic limit’ (or the limit of consciousness into and as the gates of hell, or the borders of the unconscious), but as a felt pain, an embodied pain, a literal pain manifest in and as the flesh-incarnation of the psychic being as in an inhabitance of the spirit in the house of God, or the world soul whose aliveness is that of a sermon (the spirit speaks) in the church house (the body, the flesh, animated by the lightning and chorus of the word of the spirit).

The bristling, or the friction, of wrestling with, grappling with, coming up with the edge of oneself in the face of the Oneself, conjectured in and as the abyssal, or the reflection or

mirror in which One observes or reflects upon itself and sees all that ‘it is’, and all that it ‘is not’; therein, all that it is; all that is. Therein, ‘it’ as in a psychic formulation/form/concept/outline/body is shattered and reborn as Universal Consciousness Embodied.

The psychic limit is as the ‘ends of the universe’ or ‘the ends of the earth’ for the being in the sense that it mimicks and is in direct correlation with the very limits of consciousness not only manifest in and as the incarnate being, but Being itself as viewing itself through the eyes and lived experience of the being-body as the very vessel of and for Creation, Itself. As the being approaches the border between himself and the abyss, the abyss peers back; strikes him deeply with fear, uncertainty, doubt; the dissonance of the haunting possibility of the total dissolution of self – death, dismemberment; the psychic limits which promise all that which has either been withheld or forgotten, sworn off or cursed, refused or disavowed – the pouring over and poring over of the psychic refuse which is simultaneously the abject death and the abject unknown – into the cup of the soul – a ‘poison’ drunk by Shiva, the Tantric master, in the creation of the divine nectar from the ocean of consciousness, Amrit.

That Shiva drinks the poison is that he accepts the psychic contents of ‘the evil’, or that which emerges in the very creation of ‘the good’ as in the dual edged sword of incarnate existence as in a state of play of ‘separation’. In doing so, he accepts the game:

‘In every present moment we are the culmination of everything our soul forces and eternal spirit have done before. We have to have beautiful visions for ourselves. We are here in this experiment, illusion, game, however you want to call it – and once we realize that, we can begin to expierence the game on our own terms – rather than playing to somebody else’s rules (I never agreed to that, actually); I can play the game on my own terms, in a heart centered way, in a way that isn’t manipulative, controlling, or contrived or any of those things.’ – Davyd Farrell

This is to say that Shiva accepts Chaos as the true nature of the universe as the intermixing and in-mixing of the ‘good’ and the ‘evil’ as it pertains to each individual state of consciousness; in taking in the poison, becomes the cure that prevents the destruction of the world; in his mastery, neither refuses the task which he alone can accomplish – he ‘holds it in his throat’ and his throat turns blue. It does not enter his body, nor does he reject it and his task – he transmutes the poison into mantra.

In our discernment, we gladly incorporate the nectar. In our discernment, we recognize the poison and transmute it in the creative act which re-turns the poison to the purificatory centre of Source Energy – or that it is returned beyond good and evil to the source of that which it is, Pure Consciousness. In that it is returned, it is purified in and by its very essence – from the distortion of ‘poison’ as in mis-identification into the nectar of life and immortality as in ‘right identification’ as in identification with ‘that which from whence it came’, or the Source- Essence of Pure Consciousness as in that which is, always already, beyond good and evil; even Shiva and Shakti, as in Ultimate Reality itself as in that which is (non dual).

To accept the poison is to take on and undergo the task of creation which is to step into the abyss and to step gladly, with the confidence of an adventurer’s soul into what awaits as in the ramblings and swift turns of the soul’s path – to not only accept the nectars of life, but to, equally, accept the poisons dredged up from the depths of the ocean’s floor of consciousness as in the emergence of the hauntings and fears from which we are repelled – hauntings which represent the aspects of us we have disavowed, forgotten, or dismembered as in the body of Osiris; that our task in this life is to ‘recollect’ our body parts – in that we go through this world and this soul journey precisely to remember the very nature of our souls in and as the Divine and live as the Divine in this lifetime; to know that our enlightenment is this: not an end to this journey but a deepening of it – a recollection which goes, as does the universe, further into the abyss of itself as the as-yet-unknown; to know that our

souls, like the universe, are the greatest conquerers of which Alexander is only a plastic imitation or a toy soldier, a worldly representation: that they channel deep within themselves and correspondingly hit ‘ground’ after ‘ground’ unto the realization that the ground is the very transformative principle as in the essence of Creation itself; thus capable of endless grounds which are in fact overturnings of the psychic principle itself in endless states of relationship; states and relationships which are, as we meet them with increasing willingness to learn, ever-deepened and expanded multidimensionally and fractally by our very experience which we take on and in with a whole eye – an eye which not only accepts the nectar but the poison; accordingly transmutes the poison into an even greater nectar as it is and in the very transformative and transmutative process of the being itself: the being itself embodying the creative principle of Cosmic Being. This is how we learn to be like the universe; furthermore, to live in the present moment as in the state of creation as in an expansion and expansiveness of vision – a vision which is able to balance the 'outward’ and the ‘inward’; the ‘being’ and the ‘Cosmic Self’; ‘the self’ and ‘the other’; the ‘psychic’ and the ‘cosmos’ – and not be lifted and lilted too far into the heavens that one has one’s wings melted by the sun; not be earthed in densities so deeply that one lives, like Persephone, as Queen of the Underworld not merely for four months of the year, but for the entirety of our lives.

In this sense, to live on earth is to live in a state of balance between the earthly, the heavenly, and the hellish – the body (earthly), the heavenly (the mind’s eye), the hellish (the transformative principle of the soul, or the psyche) – as in the heart centre, or the coherence between these three ‘levels’ or ‘dimensions’ as in an axis upon which the horizontal and the vertical meet.

This heart work is the work of perennial integration while moving with the forces and flows of ‘larger’ Nature (living) as in embodying this very transformative principle as in periods and frequencies of integration in accord with the

‘larger’ seasons and cycles of Nature in creation and maintenance and destruction of and as Itself – or exposure and coming up to that edge of the abyss, or the verge between the conscious and the subconscious; the universe and that which lies even beyond the Infinite in that the very composition itself is an expanding field of Self knowledge and Self knowing as in integration of itself into new forms, parts, and space. For, as the deeper one dredges, the further into deep psychic space one reaches; the further into the abysses of consciousness which are the deepest parts of ourselves. In living at this very edge and ledge of consciousness, we are living from chaos. It looks, and it leaps.

This transmutation, the deeper the dredged well of consciousness goes, penetrates into the permeable membrance of the personal subconscious and the collective subsconscious, realizing, ultimately that the two are one. In this way, the work of the Shiva consciousness deepens exponentially, in that not only does it transmute the ‘psychic darkness’ of the individual, but the psychic darkness of the collective as in the acts of human violence and genocide which are not only repressed at the cultural and collective level but ‘disremembered’ as in an aspect of humanity and, ultimately, a capacity of the human being; the spirit received by soul as in incarnation on this earth – as in action ‘in the past’ that remains eternally present as in the ocean of consciousness itself – even as it is resident at the bottom, or the depths and darks. This is a psychic courage, or bravery, in the willingness and strength to accept not only one’s own forgotten ‘poison’, but to drink the forgotten poison of the universe; to remember the very essential process and point of the universe as in the absolute darkness and stillness and absence from which the dance of Shiva and Shakti is born as in a fiery birthing of the paradox which is the eternal negotiation and interpenetrating (or ‘re-turning’) of the remembrance and the forgotten/forgetting as in the orientation of the self-soul toward the present moment as in a returning to the wholeness Self as the process is producing and re-producing in spheres and ‘Russian dolls’ even at the level of the Infinite as in the confrontation of the universe

with the dark face of that which it is becoming, or the incorporation of Being from Nothingness.

‘Aghoris base their beliefs on two principles common to broader Shaiva beliefs: that Shiva is perfect (having omniscience, omnipresence and omnipotence) and that Shiva is responsible for everything that occurs: all conditions, causes and effects. Consequently, everything that exists must be perfect and to deny the perfection of anything would be to deny the sacredness of all life in its full manifestation, as well as to deny the Supreme Being.

Aghoris believe that every person's soul is Shiva, but is covered by aṣṭamahāpāśa "eight great bonds", including sensual pleasure, anger, greed, obsession, fear and hatred. The practices of the Aghoris are centered around the removal of these bonds.

Barrett (2008: p. 161) discusses the "charnel ground sādhanā" of the Aghora in both its left and right-handed proclivities and identifies it as principally cutting through attachments and aversion and foregrounding primordiality; a view uncultured, undomesticated:[11]

The gurus and disciples of Aghor believe their state to be primordial and universal. They believe that all human beings are natural-born Aghori. Hari Baba has said on several occasions that human babies of all societies are without discrimination, that they will play as much in their own filth as with the toys around them. Children become progressively discriminating as they grow older and learn the culturally specific attachments and aversions of their parents. Children become increasingly aware of their mortality as they bump their heads and fall to the ground. They come to fear their mortality and then palliate this fear by finding ways to deny it altogether. In this sense, the Aghora sādhanā is a process of unlearning deeply internalized cultural models.’ [Here, I will add, even ‘human’ cultural models as in ‘biological’ and ‘hisorical- genetical’.]

BECOMING HUMAN AS IN CONSCIOUSNESS CONSCIOUSLY INHABITING THE BODY

Therein, the body is ‘filled’ entirely with light.

Therein, the body is the site of transformation of soul- consciousness by way of being the endless grounds through which ‘the human being’ is stripped of ‘itself’ as in the being- human as in the site of action as in the transformation of consciousness in which the perception of the vessel; itself is ever changed in light of ever deepening revelation of self as in ‘self awakening’, or awakening-up the body to its true nature as in entirely liberated – not only of ‘human culture’ but of the ‘biological’ and ‘genetic’ ‘conditions’ of the vessel as in a consciousness consciously embodying and navigating the vessel as in a primary discernment as to what the vessel is as Creative-Essence-Being-Proper; thus, it is filled with Itself as in an active embodiment and true incarnation of its true form. Living from this place:

‘An aghori believes in getting into total darkness by all means, and then getting into light or self realizing.’

Is living from the place of total darkness as in total lightness as in the paradoxical truth of Being wherein the body is ‘filled’ entirely with light as in the light of awareness in light of the source and site of true Being proper – in and as the dark womb of Creation from which the dance of Shiva and Shakti as in ‘duality’ ‘emerges’ or ‘is born’, but rather is projected as in a dance of Becoming – wherein, in a timeless sense (the whole of the seasons; Nature), Being has always already Became Itself as in the very womb of Creation in which and wherein the shadowplay and lightplay of the dance of duality occurs.

In this sense, the consciousness consciously inhabiting the body is life itself in that it is the very principle and One-prime from which the branches of ‘form’ and ‘apparition’ ‘emerge’ as in the various different wax figures and figurines ‘of

consciousness’ which are the apparent ‘differences in ‘reality’’ – of which, of course, are all equally Pure Consciousness and yet in various states of ‘forgetting’ and ‘remembrance’ of this base essential fact as neverborn (or everborn) children of the Universe from which and to which they are always already arrived – composed of it, projected from it, returned to it in a seamless movement which is a movement of stillness. The dance is a dream, the dance is the imagination itself.

The lived evolution of consciousness; coming face to face with god, the psychic limit, etc

The romantic idea of ‘the one’ is a mutual savior complex. ‘The one’ is saved by being ‘chosen’; the one who is ‘choosing’ ‘the one’ is saved by choosing ‘another’ from ‘without’. ‘The one’ is a state of ‘being affirmed from without’ – equally, an illusion.

When we are ‘lashing out’ at ‘some other being’, we are refusing to realize that the ‘some other being’ is fundamentally always already ourselves as in Oneself. Our anger, in this sense, at others, or the urge to suppress or repress ‘bad’ feelings, is always already our ‘psychic limit’, or the pressure point of integration between our existent self synthesis of consciousness integration; world-other as that which we have ‘disavowed’ or ‘disembodied’ from our ‘self conjecture’ as in illusion of soul separation from spirit- source-whole.

The soul’s work in this ‘human sphere of incarnation’ is to (re)incorporate itself as in the continual facing of psychic disintegration points; ‘doing the work’ of inquiry into where, why, and how this psychic disintegration or limit is occurring in and as the energetic body disruption or distortion; to ‘heal the wound’ of psychic distortion as in direct line or transmission from the divine; the reestablishment absolutely of the direct connection or communion between being and Being as in being Being oneself Oneself. The rise of each ‘disintegration point’ is neither a positive nor a negative phenomenon but rather an opportunity for soul growth by way of ‘doing the work’; in this way, the opportunity for a complete transformation and transmutation of consciousness’ consciousness of itself - which is to say, simultaneously, the transformation of the universal and individual perspective(s) alike as in a convergence as in an expansion or integration - the point at which the universe and the self is and are as a continually growing wholly union and unity - the trinity of universe,

being, and the transformative principle in coalition and unison as in an understanding of an unfolding process of being and becoming and the embodiment of this relationship at the level of the vessel of being which is observing and ‘coming face to face’ by way of the incarnation of the eyes of God with God Itself (itself); as such, performing an inner and inward transmutation (both within the womb of the universe and the vessel of the soul), as in a mutual recognition; at depth a mutual expansion of awareness which is also a creative magic in which the universe acquires creative agency and license with and as and of itself as in the vessel which knows itself to be Pure Consciousness and as such ‘transcends’ that which was always already transcended, the incomplete and mis- identified, mis-discerned conjectures of ‘body, genetic, history’ et cetera as in the ceiling or limit not only of the individual’s set of (un-)conscious precepts as in imagined realities or truisms but as in the collective’s historical set, as well as the ceiling or limit of consciousness proper oriented toward and as itself thru ‘chinks in a cavern’ as in that which is ‘now-conscious’ in and as and of this moment-ous revelation of consciousness thru the lens or God’s eye oriented towards, to, and through itself - the vessel which comes to know itself through and as Being Itself. The redoubling of consciousness thru the eye of creation is precisely the reflective principle; thru that which the metaphysical and metacognitive reflection upon the very nature and source-essence of creation is possible - because it is that; because it is of that even as it is creating and create(d)-of that; as such it is the direct experience of source creation energy itself as manifest in the flesh-encounter, the direct experience of God; the wrestling match that ensues, in which God reminds one of that which one truly is - as one enters that fiery encounter in which Shakti burns away all that which one is not (the illusions or maya projections of body, culture, and so forth), unto the revelation of the very creative and Creational energy which forms not only the being, but the Cosmic Being Proper.

THE TURNING

Aum - the turning of the seasons, the three modes: cardinal, fixed, mutable - creation, maintenance, destruction - Brahma, Vishnu, Shiva.

“Alfred North Whitehead suggested that the universe is a "vibratory universe," and that it is a reflection of the dynamic reciprocity of the two poles of God centering on his desire of love: conceptual and physical poles.”

The cycles, seasons, as in ‘points of tension’ or overturning in and at which the ‘consciousness sea’ is mixed and turned and overturned - where the ‘poison’ rises and Shiva drinks the poison and chants the mantra.

These points of tension can be conceived of as ‘squares’ or 90 degree angles, or the squares of creation (the cardinal seasons), the squares of midseason (the point at which the season is ‘held’ or between birth and death); the squares of end-season (the point at which the season ‘passes’ away for the birth of the new season.

Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter.

The Aum itself is the vibratory sound and frequency of the universal whole untouched as Being within itself; as such, within itself is the churning of the ocean of consciousness in which figures and forms and forces appear to rise and fall away but are in fact a fluid, flowing process in and at which the Nature and origin of Creation is manifest - as in the turning over or the overturning of ‘the former’ to introduce an elaboration, or a coming-again-in-a-return- which is also an entirely new manifestation of the archetypal overturning

the spring springs again but in a ‘new disguise’, or that archetypal manifestation which ‘wears the clothes of the movement’, in a rough quote of Marx, or the eternal recurrence of history in the archetypal overturning. This is to say, it comes again but differently as in an incarnation
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which reminds one of previous incarnations which were, and are, rather, all Itself in a fractal, holographic sense as in ‘apparences’.

In this sense, we come into some light of ourselves as Nature itself in a cosmic sense, in that it is a seamless churning that ‘appears’ to be a turning and thus a changing-unchanging which appears to be ‘a changing of forms’ which is in fact, rather, a flowing wax or ‘plasma’ which moves seamlessly through the very apparent ‘membranes’ which are itself - the very membrances which appear to be its structures and forms and faces and shapes and places and names and ‘spheres’. In this way, we can begin to understand that consciousness ‘rules’ all as it is all as it is itself - or that it takes various forms and rises and falls within them, as them, simultaneously, in the sense that it is ‘time’ beyond time. In this understanding, we become ourselves in the shedding of the clothes of the eternal recurrence and returning in which we rise and fall with conviction - in the sense that we are so certain (or so uncertain) that ‘this’ (whoever and whichever we claim to be as in a claiming which is also a disclaiming) is truly ‘who we are’ or ‘what we are’, even as it is rising and falling away as an illusion, or a wave, or a transmission, within the ceaseless and seamless flow of the AUM as in the universe-whole that speaks without time and space as in the vibratory condition or state which is untouched but by itself

the very planetary cells within the plasmic sea; the very stones within the world-ocean; the very thoughts within the psychic soul as in the ocean of selves and souls speaking whispering, sleeping, dreaming - all this dream of being which is becoming - all this dream of Being.

This is to say that Being itself is a dream, or that it is dreaming itself holographically, inter dimensionally, in pathways which spread and extend like constellations, roads, nerve endings, and blood vessels - which expand and expound upon themselves in a journey back into themselves as in the growth of a soul from a mustard seed or a tree from a seed into a mature tree with great branches and bearing ripe fruits, which fall to the ground and spread their

juices and seeds into a genealogy, or a tree of trees in descendance and ascendance to and from ‘The One Seed’, or the seed that is manifest in all things as their essence and Source-origin. The descendance and ascendance, in this sense, are obscured in the very dancing which is Paramatma, or the inherent unity of the creation and the creator in a ceaseless movement of which there is no beginning or end but a ceaseless process of creation, maintenance, and destruction, or the bearing of fruit; the very bounty and light and shadow of existence passing over the fertile grounds from which existence springs. The seed, then, is obscured in and as the very movement itself as in the ‘forgotten’ essence and origin of the trees of trees and their branches and ripe fruit as in ‘the first seed or the One seed, or the only seed that has become many’ - or the Originary Moment which is eternally ripe and ripening as in this moment.

“Yeats’s theory, of these conical spirals which determine events in time, is based on concepts from many previous writers including Plato and Blake. ‘A Gyre is a combination of line and plane, and as one tendency or the other must always be stronger, the gyre is always expanding or contracting’ (Henn 185). He develops the notion that “all physical reality, the universe as a whole, every solar system, every atom, is a double cone; where there are two poles on opposite to the other, these two poles have the form of cones” (Yeats A Vision 69).

In history these shifts occur in cycles of every 2000 years and less dramatically every 500 years. “For all the permutations in the system to be enacted, a period of about 26 000 years would be needed, a period similar to the Great or Platonic Year talked of in the Ancient World” (Macrae 153). In his later works, Yeats focuses on the city of Byzantium and its symbolic unity of all aspects of life.”

“Each age unwinds the thread another age had wound…Persia fell, and that when full moon came around again, amid eastward-moving thought, and brought Byzantine glory, Rome fell; and that at the outset of our westward-moving Renaissance Byzantium fell; all things dying each other’s life, living each other’s death” (YEATS A VISION 270-271).

THE ARCHETYPAL DIMENSION

A replaying, a recapitulation of certain historical acts, forces, and movements – wherein the acts are performed with ‘new actors’ (with ‘new names’, ‘new titles’, ‘new nations’, and ‘new worlds’); thus on ‘new stages’ – wherein and therein, the inherent drama of the AUM is recreated, reconstructed, and redestructed as in a greater ‘historical’ play of archetypal forces as in agents and actors of the larger cosmological Creation as in the prismatic ‘children of God’ – in that each actor fulfills a certain archetypal role in the turning and churning of the seasons of Brahma, Vishnu, and Shiva – the creator, the preserver, and the destroyer. These roles can be seen in the generational action of generations of human beings themselves; furthermore, in the larger rise and fall of empires and dominant consciousness statuses: which is to say the oceanic movements of consciousness in which the subconscious is dredged up and brought to light of any paradigm – a suppressed or repressed state as in a forgotten aspect of that which it deifies (self sacrifice, power, fame, control, discipline, whichever else) as totemic or emblematic of the age itself.

For this is how the age is characterized, as in a rising and a falling, an inhalation and an exhalation, a penetration and a receptation as in a dance, a dancing in which the sphere or the orb or the womb of imagining of creation is lit at one angle and expensed at another in darkness, or in the ancient sense, in the clock of the moon which tells earth time by way of shades of fullness and lightness; newness and darkness. The age is germinal and thus there are germinal actors, or what Dane Rudhyar refers to as ‘seed men’, those who ‘plant the seed in the ground of consciousness for the paradigmatic climax to come, or the very emergence of the archetype, or ‘avatar’ of that paradigm. In astrological terms, Pisces is Christ. In the seed man of Christ the entire drama of the Piscean age is played out or manifest in his life theatre, or the fractal in which the whole is represented as in

an act within a larger play or the theme within the larger orchestration which contains the essential movement: the rise and the fall of the paradigm at large as in the birth and death of an archetypal manifestation or consciousness form which is collectively embodied and bloodlet – in a catharsis. In this catharsis, or the Shiva state of the paradigm, we come to understand, or reflect upon the realization (the ‘climax’ of the age which is the transition from the Vishnu to the Shiva stage); thus begin to integrate the psychic contents which emerged to the surface as in a collective recapitulation of the theme manifest in and as the holographic life of the seed man; in this case, in the life of Christ. And this is precisely the religious fascination with Christ – that his life is the opening remark which is repeated (again as a theme) in and as a growing consciousness by way of reflection and recapitulation as a turning of the age – which is to say the germination of the seed; the spreading of the seed; as it is sowed in the consciousness of man and sprouts en masse – as the collective begins to self realize this theme as it is manifest within themselves as themselves as a light or a life – (in the case of Christ), the responsibility of and for the entirety of humanity as the realization of the whole of humanity as being Oneself; in this case, a new ethics emergent as in the embodiment of a Cosmic Christ state which is the axis of the spirit and the soul – or the living out of the realization that one is the universal whole; the cosmic breath, veins, blood, soil, ground, eyes, and mouth incarnate. In this way, we have a direct segue, or an opening monologue into the Aquarian Age, or the age of a collectivization of the realizations expressed or ‘come out into the open’ as in a churning from the bottom of the ocean which Shiva drinks – the very ‘poison’ which was the ‘forgotten’ memory, the ‘repressed’ self; the process of remembrance akin to the tripartite movements of Dionysus and Osiris – in which the body is dismembered and remembered.

So we can see this ‘seed man’ and the spreading of the ‘seed man’ as in the rising realization of the seed man in and as and of the collective consciousness itself as in the emergence

of the psychic parts of the body which have been ‘dis-re- membered’ in the former iteration or paradigmatic age (the age of Aries being the age of large scale warfare and the rise of hero mythology and ‘mythic solarization’ (or ‘patriarchy’). In Christ, there is a recapitulation and a direct facing of the consequences of this paradigm in equal parts: the deification of Christ and his hero mythology in his ultimate sacrifice and betrayal by Judas; a ‘turning away’ from the former age and state in Christ’s teachings – teachings which ultimately made him a martyr and a savior in an ideological and archetypal sense.

Here, we must say that the seed man archetype is not singular, in the sense that there is ‘one’ who represents the path of the whole, but rather the seed man is a thematic emergence, or as an avatar, represents the unconscious elements and aspects of a paradigm and revelates them in, as, and upon his own life path. Such a man would even be a character or a mask, or a shaman – as in Nietzsche’s Zarathustra – as a channeling of the unconscious of a time as the raising up of the psychic grounds and a revelation of them to, ultimately, a mass which (as one might anticipate), turns away from that which turns toward them: the mask which shows them the underside of their own face – or the shade of their own ‘conscious’ worldview, disposition, and ‘reality’ dream making project. In this sense, the seed man is the nightmare of the age; the bogeyman of a time which he haunts; a time which haunts him in return, until and unless he transmutes the haunting in a resurrection – a death and rebirth process which is ultimately the individual’s reunity with the whole and the wholly as in the integration of the psychic consciousness/unconsciousness at the level of each psychic body or sheath. This is the mammoth power and task of Shiva in drinking the poison of the ocean of consciousness; that even as the nectar arises from it, equally does the ‘poison’; in Shiva’s drinking of the poison the world is saved in the sense that he has taken the poison but not taken it in and transmutes it into a mantra, or that he expresses the poison in a different form which revelates the poison through speech in a making culture. Here, we are not

referring to culture as in the arts or the held beliefs, but rather art as a mirror in which revelates the darkness of an age, a time, a scrying glass to the paradigm which does not seek to appease, but to revelate as to make the nightmare or the underbelly of the dream conscious; apparent; even as ‘real’ as the dream appears to be to the dreamer as he is dreaming it.

‘Good art wounds as well as delights. It must, because our defenses against the truth are wound so tightly around us. But as art chips away at our defenses, it also opens us to healing potentialities that transcend intellectual games and ego-preserving strategies.’ – Rollo May

As the seed man transforms into the collective realization (or the germination of the full moon); the ecstatic if not terrifying realization that is the full moon, we have the sense of a transformative horror, or the realization of an archetypal tale or story or figure in the most literal sense as in the embodiment in and at a collective level as in that which ‘envelops’ or ‘casts a large shadow’ over the world; an attendant light which grows and revelates the world to itself in its forgetfulness; in the mirror of this rising archetypal consciousness the sphere of perception is entirely shifted and altered to reveal that which ‘has not yet been seen before’, or ‘was not yet seen but through the eyes or the veil of the previous paradigm’ as in a collective revolution of consciousness which absolutely, or at the root, transforms the perceptive capabilities and possibilities as in an opening, or a gateway, into a new way of being, seeing, thinking, feeling, and so forth. It is the step into this new embodiment as in the embodiment of the archetypal lesson(s) of the paradigm at large which is the ‘agonizing’ process for the collective, as they are, in both a literal and figurative sense, replaying the story of Christ as and within their own lives and consciousness; attempting to comprehend that which Christ’s life represents, or the death and rebirth process in which Christ dies and is reborn as Christ Consciousness, or the revelation of the cosmic whole as in an embodiment, a lived ground. The task of grasping this is, precisely, the task

of a shattering and shattered psyche which must remember itself – not only as ‘itself’ as in the ‘individual’ (age of Aries) as in the name, place, and face of the organismic form – but as in Itself as in the Cosmic Wholly – as in the very shifting Self which is the life essence of the forms and faces and figures which are, at the very basic level, all of itself and all itself; furthermore (in the ‘human’ sense), that which is itself perceiving Itself.

One can see, even in the detailing of these terms and the necessary shift in consciousness and perception implied by the rise and fall of the archetypal age of Pisces, just what a task this is.

In the Shiva stage of the age of Pisces, it is of course the crumbling of the previous conditions which is a forced integration by way of the ‘end of the paradigm’, or the very conditions which (briefly) supported and even enabled the previous worldview as in a structural collapse in and at which the command and message is clear: to integrate the archetypal material collectively (or at least, in some form of en masse) at the level of the psyche which is necessarily, in a microcosmic level, a death and rebirth at the level of perception with, accordingly, an expanded worldview and sense of metaphysic and ethic – or to perish beneath the rubble of the previous paradigm as it comes crashing down (or in Benjamin’s archetypal image, to become the angel as it flies from the ruins). Here, however, this is no ‘running away’ or ‘leaving behind’ insomuch and insofar as it is an integration of the psychic contents introduced by the seed man (or seed men) at the outset of the paradigm consciously; at the level of the civilizational, this consciousness evolution is the very imperative in and at which the collective evolves, turns, pivots, or recreates itself as a ‘conjecture of consciousness’ or a new figure form (the archetypal seed of Aquarius) as in a ‘passing through the eye of the needle, or the close of the Shiva cycle of Pisces into the Brahma cycle of Aquarius – wherein that which passes through is not the ‘camel’, but the essence of the camel, the fractal form of consciousness which has been made conscious as in its

essential form; integrated to such an extent that it is all and none; all and one – as in the archetypal figure and form par excellence. For it is in this sense that the archetypal nature of consciousness is incredibly subtle – that it cannot be said to ‘exist’ as in a ‘physical entity’, but rather that it exists within and as the ‘physical entity’ proper as the very seed from which the ‘entity’ sprouts or ‘springs’; in this sense, the ‘phenomenal reality’ of the figure is often mistaken for The Reality – wherein it is a manifestation (as in an ‘extension’, or a ‘projection’, or a ‘limb’) of the archetypal essence of consciousness itself (Creation Itself).

This is the lesson, both at the macrocosmic level as in astrological ages, and at the ‘microcosmic level’ as in the ‘everyday’ life of the human being as in the process of the integration of consciousness as in consciousness (r)evolution as in the ability to discern the archetypal significance of events, situations, and figures – which is to say to understand them not simply as singular events or isolated historical anomalies or even as linear progressions, but as eternal recurrences of certain interactions of force and field which, at a metaphysical level, are returns of archetypal interactions which are coded at the level of the mythological, such as Hades’ abduction of Persephone, Arjuna’s conversation with Krishna on the battlefield; even in a more ‘direct’, ‘historical’ sense, as in ‘historical events’ which are more revelations of Nature – as in figures such as Alexander and Christ – agents whose sway and influence at a global and cultural level is rather akin to the embodiment of a certain stage of the Nature of AUM – or the metaphysical seasonal movement between the archetypes of Brahma, Vishnu, and Shiva – the archetypes which, in a tripartite, represent the Becoming of the One – or the Oneness of Creation itself as in a whole. Therein, we can understand Creation itself as in an archetypal genealogy of seasons and cycles which can be worked with at a level of consciousness; observed and moved with – and that we do not experience terror in the encountering of a Shiva phase of consciousness but rather understand it (and its ‘manifest’ forces and figures) as being gateways and openings into a

form of new consciousness which require integration of the previous paradigm of inflow (Brahma) and revelation (Vishnu) in order to initiate the next cycle of creative revelation of archetypal formation in and as the cosmological psyche of Being becoming conscious of itself as Itself. In this way, we understand – even at the individual psychic level – that such events that incite a response or a rising or a separative feeling or inclination within the psyche are events that are, precisely, incitations to incorporation – or that this is one of the ‘forgotten limbs’ that must be remembered as in right discernment – a discernment which understands the limb to be performing a larger psychic function in an evolution of the soul – not only of the individual, but of and in the re-membrance of the collective; the whole of the universe remembering itself as in conscious action and conscious reflection. It is here, at the nexus of events which are equally cataclysms and graces as in apocalypses of all shapes and sizes and forms – that discernment becomes the chief trait of consciousness evolution in that it enables the individual to align oneself with the cosmic breath, the inflow and outflow as in a light of self which proceeds from the very metaphysical Nature and depths of Creation; out of this understanding and innate flow as being that, the organism proceeds into ‘everyday life’ or the circumstances as they were in the understanding that these movements are not just ‘everyday’, but rather a movement or a channeling through life in which each Originary Moment asks oneself to become conscious of Oneself as Oneself; to live in each ‘moment’ as in that which it is, the Originary Moment as in the knowledge of Higher Creation as in residence in and at the Oneness of Creation; to observe and witness the music and flow and art of the tripartite gods Becoming Infinite. To reside here is to cease becoming and to Be – in that one witnesses and observes the becoming in and as and at the hold of Consciousness – and lives out the archetypal unfolding and integrates the archetypal brushings up against the edge of the transformative impulse which asks one to live and die to oneself from that place of higher knowledge which understands and knows at the root of the embodied self

that all life is Creation; that all life is the evolution of the soul; that the soul is most free in the direct encounter with life and in that it carries with it the sword of discernment which cleaves ‘that which one believes to be true’ from The Truth as in the Absolute Reality in its residence there and therein as Creation Itself – and that in this sense the soul in this lifetime may evolve freely; that it may adventure as in the going deeper into itself and its archetypal questions – and to approach each of these trials with the strength of Hercules – a strength which is also the wisdom of knowing when and how to flow with the seasons of Creation in order to come into deeper understanding as in conscious embodiment of Creation.

“The hydra, its nine angry heads breathing flame, emerged. Its scaly tail lashed furiously the water and the mud, bespattering Hercules. Three fathoms high the monster stood, a thing of ugliness that looked as if it had been made of all the foulest thoughts conceived since time began.

The hydra sprang at Hercules and sought to coil about his feet. He stepped aside and dealt it such a crushing blow that one of its heads was immediately dissevered. No sooner had this horrid head fallen into the bog than two grew in its place. Again and again Hercules attacked the raging monster, but it grew stronger, not weaker, with each assault.

Then Hercules remembered that his Teacher had said, "we rise by kneeling." Casting aside his club, Hercules knelt, grasped the hydra with his bare hands, and raised it aloft. Suspended in mid-air, its strength diminished. On his knees, then, he held the hydra high above him, that purifying air and light might have their due effect. The monster, strong in darkness and in sloughy mud, soon lost its power when the rays of the sun and the touch of the wind fell on it.

Convulsively it strove, a shudder passing through its loathsome frame. Fainter and fainter grew its struggles till the victory was won. The nine heads drooped, then with

gasping mouths and glazing eyes fell limply forward. But only when they lifeless lay did Hercules perceive the mystic head that was immortal.

Then Hercules cut off the hydra's one immortal head and buried it, still fiercely hissing, beneath a rock.

Returning, Hercules stood before his Teacher. "The victory is won", the Teacher said. "The Light that shines at Gate the eighth is now blended with your own".” – Francis Merchant

‘Everything’s already done. Its like if you stand in that stadium, high up in the bleachers, and you’re looking at the play - you can think of the soul just kind of holding time and space in their hand and observing it - but separate from it. So the whole drama of this human existence, of this soul journey - its all being witnessed simultaneous to it being played out. This can be a very trippy thing but this is why we can have dreams ten years ago and premonitions about something that is in your soul program that will happen. There are certain things that are just going to happen because it already is. Its just seemingly being played out and manifesting in time. This is also why things like the I Ching can work, or tarot. Different forms of divination where we’re tuning into the archetypal energetics.’

Ari Moshe Wolfe on the Aquarius archetype
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THE RISING AND FALLING

The rising and falling as in the emergence and the submergence of larger time cycles as in spheres within spheres of emergence and submergence in which the psychic action mimicks the cosmic action. Therein, the ‘manifest’ reality undergoes, equally, as in the ages, the seasons, and the apparent orbital function of a planet perceived from ‘here’ (planet earth) - a submersion into the underworld of consciousness; an emergence into the overworld of consciousness. Therein, we understand the cycles to proceed as in night and day; the apparent ‘retrograde action’ of planets, the eclipsing of moon and sun; the yearly procession of the sun as in the seasons; the apparent procession of the constellations about the cusp of the earth as in the astrological ages (24,000 years); larger cycles which may be measured in terms of astronomical points in relationship to the movement of earth or the sun (one body) in relation to another body (another star, sun, or orbiting function). This ‘one’ and ‘two’ method of accounting for time and the cycles therein as an observable cosmic function (astronomically) has deep psychic implications when related to the ‘history’ of ‘man’ - the archetype which is the philosophical, cultural, and existential development and developments of life on earth as in a relationship of cosmic wholeness (or as in the cosmos, so in the psyche; as ‘above’ so ‘below’) - wherein the inner and outer cycles are in a natural cohesion as in no mere mimickry but rather a ceaseless flow and movement of energetic impulse and expulse as in cosmic breath which is observable in the most microscopic ‘within’ (as in the soul, the molecular, the atomic, the particular)’; the most macroscopic ‘without’ (as in the spirit, or the cosmological, or the universal). These turnings are the wheels within wheels of Nature, or the gears within gears or the cycles within cycles, all of which represent the rising and falling and the ebbing and flowing of time as the cosmic breath; at each level re-present themselves as in the Sphinxian riddle to Oedipus:

‘What goes on four feet in the morning, two feet at noon, and three feet in the evening?’

This is to say, that beyond the conception of time that ‘entraps’ man in the contemplation of his ‘minor humanity’ here on this earth, there is the eternal sense of time which obliterates time and space in that it is a sphere within a sphere, or a cycle within a cycle which obeys this supra- primordial, cosmic law of the rise and fall - the breath which is the inherent vibrational quality of the universe as in a quick (in relation to man’s perception and sense-faculties) dancing (a minute, a day, a blink, a breath) of the interpenetrative impulses, or a prolonged dancing (an age, the rise and fall of an empire, a species, a star) - which is and may prove to be increasingly measurable with technological devices made by man to extend his sight and gaze into the fabric of space and time but may be known innately in the embodied sense as in the axis of eternal Nature ‘enfleshed’ by space and time as its ‘function’ or as its body and breath as in the relational ecosystem or dance between two poles, or two orbital functions. Therein, that we see the dance is that it is observable within us as life-process: the going within, the emerging without; observable about us (hibernations, retrograde actions, the receding of waves, the dark of the moon); that we understand this rocking or shaking motion (the movement ‘forward’, the movement ‘backward’, the movement ‘without’, the movement ‘within’) as not only relative experience at every level of consciousness but itself the law of Nature proper as in a fluxuality between the receptive and the expressive states as in the gathering of energy and the expressing of energy as in the cultivating of vibratory quality and the reaping of vibratory quality is that we learn to live aligned and in tune with Nature as in the cosmic law that transcends mere numbers and codification as such.

To live in this way and sense is to understand the free play between unity (the coming together) and individuation (the coming apart into ‘individual expression’ of the sign) - as in

the intersection and inter coursing of the two functions (as in the birth or a creation of a new signification or cycle); the coming apart as in the furthest distance or farthest apart of the two functions as in their ‘liberation’ or full expression of being oneself. To understand this principle then, is to become it within and as oneself as Oneself as to live in cosmic and Natural alignment as in a breathing and breath work which both encompasses and transcends the immediate breath and ‘breathwork’ of the organism into a breath-work which is a whole and holistic manner and matter of living which lives from this place and point of metaphysical awareness of cosmic Becoming (in and of and as which the human being is simultaneously a world and a grain of sand, an infinity and the palm of a hand, an eternity in an hour) - as in an initiation into the furthest most and the nearest: the very nature and source essence of Consciousness itself as in this life process which need only be observed and witnessed in and all things as not only ‘daily life’, but life itself in and as the principle of rising and falling as in the breath.

A societal, cultural, and global ‘lost memory’ of the greater cosmological and psyche-logical cycles – a ‘memory’ which is even barely recognized in regards to the days, seasons, and years – as a hyperindustrialization of life continues. Without a sense of direction or orientation in regards to the global, cosmological, and galaxial death and rebirth cycles as in ascents and descents (of consciousness, going ‘within’ or under; going ‘without’ or above; into reception, into expression)… how do we know who we are, where we are, or where we are going?

‘All time is based on celestial motions’ – Walter Cruttenden

The tropical zodiac is like a timing compass rose. And we must ask – relative to what?

Relative to the particular consciousness that is perceiving its rise and fall. For one man’s rising is another man’s falling; for one planet’s ascent is another’s descent; for one star’s birth is another’s death.

It is – all – whole; wholly informing itself by way of the dance of the rising and the falling. In this knowledge, we rest in the centre: uncircumnavigated, watching the inflows and outflows, the membrane and forces which move within and without it – in the understanding that we are, as Pure Consciousness ourselves, oneself and eternally centred in and as and even beyond this dance of Becoming in and as that Source Being from which it is projected as in ‘Maya’ on every cosmological level and procession and perception and order from ‘greater’ to ‘lesser’ and ‘larger’ to ‘smaller’ and ‘lesser’ to ‘greater’. Even this perceptual hierarchy of densities and brevities and vibrational qualities is an illusion, a deception, an activation of that which is fundamentally ‘unactive’ and eternally still – the movement of consciousness within itself as in a ‘projection’, a swirling or play of forces within the womb of the totality, or the Essence of Being at play within it, as it, as theatre and theater.

The very human-being-embodiment of consciousness is Nature; at the metacognitive sense and in the level of thinking about thinking it is a star in orbit of itself: its solar consciousness being its source-energy-life-force- consciousness (the Pure Consciousness Proper which is it as in life); its lunar body being its reflective quality and quantity of light which is that which it perceives through its senses as in the reception of feeling into emotion (the feeling which is felt life; the emotion which is the gradient of perception of feeling which informs life praxis) – and therein that the very body of the human being as in the sense-body and the enfleshed spirit-soul as in the incarnation of this particular form of consciousness is the axis in and upon which this perceptual action takes place as in the place and space in and upon which life is thrown upon itself as in a projection of light-consciousness – or wherein the dance of the two light bodies (pure solar consciousness; reflective lunar consciousness as in mirror of consciousness or redoubling of the solar) functions as an enaction or enactment of ‘enlightenment’ or illumination of the flesh – wherein the perceptual faculty and quality of the ‘human being’ is, as in orbit, a dog chasing after its own tail in perpetuum, or upon the wheel of Samsara, or in Infinite astronomical orbits of binary planetary bodies and selves: which are in discourse accordingly as ‘light’ and ‘dark’, ‘day’

and ‘night’, ‘good’ and ‘evil’, ‘sun’ and ‘moon’ – all of which, too, are in and as the very psyche of man as the cosmological microcosm of the cosmological macrocosm as in the universal dance of and between the two poles, which intersect and dance as in planes and fields of corresponding orbital magnetism.

For in each dance they are conjunct momentarily and pulled apart to higher individuality and returned to deeper conjunction in ascents and descents which rise and fall with increasing magnitude and depth – which is to say further access into and as themselves in relation to the other: as in deeper cosmological ‘advancement’ or ‘understanding’ or ‘insight’ with corresponding deeper psychological ‘advancement’ or ‘understanding’ or ‘insight’ as in a mutual relationship of deepening as in the evolution of consciousness proper as in a journey of the soul and the spirit as in a deepening of both the ‘science’ of observation (‘without- research’) and the art of observation (‘within-research’) as in a unity and individualization of the solar and the lunar aspects of consciousness: as each returns to the other in a deepened orbit and returned with greater consciousness of the outer and inner depths – and therein information is exchanged.

This is to say – that this movement is a movement of increasing peaks and valleys, not only of feeling, but of the reflective faculty as in the digestion of information or sensation accumulated by the sense body – a deepening of the ability to feel into the lived core of consciousness as in the enfleshment which turns the former ‘wandering body’ of the ‘planet’ into something more of a ‘sentient being’ of and with increased consciousness of itself as consciousness (even deeper than the biological and cultural impulses and expulses and dictations of ‘the flesh’ or the ‘sense-body’ itself as in the earthly vessel, or the surrounding commands of the paradigm or time or culture possessed by the archetypal confluences or hypnotized by the very Nature of Becoming or else ‘being dragged by itself unconsciously’ through time and space’ – in that it feels into itself and reflects upon the

feeling and refines upon the reflection upon the feeling is that it enters into the process of Becoming-Itself as in the increased receptive sensitivity as a listening in and feeling into the body, which in turn cultivates and develops an increased expressive sensitivity as in a communion between the active and the receptive – wherein a communication is established, continued, and furthered in and at increasingly ‘microscopic levels’ into the innate channel of Being itself – which echoes, ripples, and reverberates outward into every facet of existence wherein the corresponding archetypal binary orbit of the two functions is at play: which is to say, the very Becoming of Nature itself.

In this sense, the refinement of the sense quality of the organism in coalition with the action quality (or the reflection, or lunar quality which orients the self, accordingly, back to right action) – is a flow or becoming process which is in direct coalition with the universal cycles of ‘greater’ space and time proper as in conjunctions and oppositions, new moons and full moons, of orbital magnetism and repellation by way of the ‘embodying of the opposite in order to become One’, as in a game of consciousness through which one sees the face of God – Oneself, and returns to God’s embrace with the knowledge that ‘the other’ is forevermore Oneself, Himself, proper. For this is the ‘rising’ and the ‘falling’ ‘action’ – as in a projection of Consciousness Proper.

As this process is attuned into at ever deeper levels of self initiation as in embodiment, it becomes the lived reflection of Nature; not only ‘reflection’, but lived practice of Nature at the level of the microscopic science as in the apprenticeship which reveals an even finer gradient of ‘perfection’ (as in the ability to allow for Becoming as in an ‘imperfection’ – that ‘We are always evolving… perfection doesn’t agree with evolution. Evolution means things are not already perfect; therefore they can improve’ [Timothy Halloran]).

‘The light and dark of Nature is not the same moralistic projection as the ‘good and evil’ invented in the Pisces age. When we see carnivorous animals attacking sheep, we don’t say it’s an ‘evil lion’.’ – Timothy Halloran

In this way, the evolution of the soul as in the embodied consciousness at depth (that which resides beneath the ‘sheaths’ [as in their true nature; the actor beneath the disguises, roles, characters] of the social, cultural, speci-al, organismic, sense-bodial, et al.) is the frontier and vanguard of evolution perhaps only paralleled by the very expansion of the universe as in the outer reaches of ‘outer space’. In this sense, we are in and at a corresponding depth of consciousness in that we are not only ‘growing from within the black sun’, or the ‘black hole’ which is the depths of the soul – a direct link to the centre of the cosmos as in Creation Proper – but that we are ‘growing from without’ as in the mutual and paradoxical shuddering of a consciousness which is expanding into new reaches of space and time; a consciousness which is expanding within itself at the atomic level in that it is becoming conscious of Itself by way of a lived, organismic experience – as that which senses Itself all around it, about it, within it, as it – as the very Source and Whole of Nature Itself, the Univers-al. For the deeper we grow within, the more we come to know the outer reach – that which extends as in the psychic depths within us – the very ‘cosmological depths’ ‘without’ – as in that Self Same Within.

That men of this age continue to search the wheeling firmaments (and their fellow men) for the cosmic resolution (or ‘salvation’), for that which may be found and observed not only within the very embodied psychic basin but within and as the immediate ‘nature’ as in the metaphysical principles and processes of Creation Itself – is to say that we continue to ‘seek to conquer’ or ‘martyr our souls’ rather to reside and observe from that which is within the within – the very state and grace gifted to us at ‘birth’. We may become truly conscious and aware of ourselves: not only as ‘individuals’, but as the very Being and Becoming – the very cosmic Whole, incarnate, embodied. In doing so, we become truly sovereign; truly remembered – in all parts, ourSelf.

Planets do not ‘cause’ specific events, any more than the hands on a clock ‘cause’ a specific time. Rather, the planets are indicative of the cosmic state of the archetypal dynamics at that time. -- Richard Tarnas

     The Heavens declare the Glory of Elohim,
               and the firmament
                    shows His
                   handiwork.
              Day unto day utters
               speech, and night
               unto night reveals
                   knowledge.
              There is no speech,
              there are no words,
              neither is their voice
                      heard.
                Their line is gone
               out through all the
                Earth, and their
              words to the end of
                    the world.
                  Psalms 19:1




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CREATION IN ACTION (PSEUDO-BECOMINGS)

I. When the archetype is met in the middle with its equal and opposite (as in a conjunction), each archetype is dissolved into and as consummation or unity or union as in the realization of the cosmic state of wholeness as in Being Oneself. In this sense, the meeting place and grounds of the paradox is the very place in which the paradox is dissolved as in a Maya, a dance of the archetypes, a dance of the lovers, Shiva and Shakti - revealed to be a dancing of the dancing Itself; Shiva and Shakti figures of fire, figures of water, figures of earth, figures of smoke, figures of pure, dancing Spiritude.

II. This is the ‘manifestation’ of Cosmic Love. Wherein, when the archetypes are in a state of opposition (or being furthest apart in their orbital pathway from centre or Source) – they ‘appear’ to be in a state of ‘hate’ or in opposition or ‘against each other’ as in a position of tensile string – or pulling at one another as in a repellation. Cosmic Love, then, is simultaneously the dance of both attraction and repulsion as in the cycles which draw one another apart and near as in necessary movements of consciousness into periods and states of orbital reflection (as in the full moon) and orbital intercourse (as in the new moon) as in states of consummation and confirmation of Self and selves as in the establishment of a binary and the dissolution of the binary in a union, a conjunctio.

III. This principle applies to Nature cycles as in cycles of archetypal significance as in states of Creation in space – or that, as with Dane Rudhyar:

‘Indeed, in philosophical traditions concerning the meaning of astrology it was stated that the fundamental reality of what we call a planet is not its material mass but rather the space which its movements define.’

— Dane Rudhyar, The Planetary and Lunar Nodes

IV.     In this sense, what we are speaking of when we
        are speaking of a ‘planet’ or a ‘function’ or an
        ‘entity’ of consciousness is rather a relationship of
        Consciousness to itself, through itself; in the
        pseudo- or supposed distance from the Source
        point to the orbital function as in a distance (or
        an intimacy) which informs itself of itself as
        Itself. In this sense, the planet (or the entity or
        function or body) may be said to have certain
        ‘qualities’ or ‘correlatives’ or ‘behaviors’ or
        ‘traits’ only in relation to another or other
        bodies in space. The state of the body, in this
        sense, is thusly only cultivated in relation to the
        synthetic ‘other’ as the a priori synthetic other –
        the orbital function or signifier of Creation,
        Consciousness Proper – as in, too, a reflector –
        a primordial binary in its very essence and
        creation.

V.      The subtle nature of this creational aspect of
        ‘the first body’ in relation to Creation Itself is
        the creation myth of all creation – that the first
        born is truly unborn as in the womb of
        Creation; hitherto and henceforth all relations
        occurrent therein between planetary bodies are
        relations predetermined a priori by the
        metaphysical dimension and sphere as in the
        Primary Consciousness as in Creation Proper as
        in the Nature which informs all ‘subsequent’
        ‘natural’ ‘developments’ as in projections of this
        primary Creational Nature acting in, through,
        and as, ‘all things’ (projections of itself).

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“The two nodes are not separate points each with its individual meaning; they are the two polar aspects of one single process. What should be studied and understood is, first of all, the process.

In the case of planetary nodes, I repeat, what is at stake is the fundamental relationship of a planet and of our Earth as two related members of the solar system.”

— Dane Rudhyar, The Planetary and Lunar Nodes

VI.     Wherein, we can understand ‘nodes’ (as in
        orientations of orbit in relation to another
        planetary body) as directions or directives which
        can only be formed in relationship; as such,
        cosmological orientations or underpinnings as
        in creations of archetypal information to and
        through said relationship. Without said
        relationship, the body is nothing but Absolutely
        Pure Creation; Cosmological Energy. It
        reverberates (truly) throughout the cosmos as an
        AUM; it finds no orbital relationship and as
        such establishes no pattern and has no innate
        value or meaning beyond being-in-relationship.
        Therein, we can understand relationship
        between Creational functions as being the basis
        and foundation for all life; simultaneously
        entirely illusory and in this sense ‘separative’ or
        under the illusion of separation as they form
        relationships with one another under the quality
        of ‘forgetfulness’ which is the relationship
        between one planetary body and another
        planetary body within the whole Source-
        Creation – or the projection of ‘existences’ or
        ‘bodies’ in, upon which, and through, life begins
        as in relationship, or communication between
        ‘one’ and ‘another’ within the One-Self.

VII.    That this ‘relationship’ is entirely insular is that
        it is, at its core, mythic, devised, conjured,

                             109


    storytold, dreamt, and fabricated. The inherent
    ‘rationality’ or ‘truth content’ or ‘order’ lies
    entirely within the Cosmic underpinnings
    detailed in the previous – the metaphysical
    sphere-nature of Creation itself as in a pseudo-
    movement with observable ‘affect’ at every
    ‘level’ of Nature as in microcosms and
    macrocosms of this Self-Same movement.
    Therein, the wheel of Samsara is infinitely great
    and infinitely small; it is the dance of all
    relationship within the Ultimate Reality, as the
    Ultimate Reality ‘made manifest’.

VIII. Therein, consciousness believes (or is made to believe in that it ‘forgets’ to become in relationship with another) that it may ‘resolve’ or ‘solve’ itself by way of being in relationship; conjectures and situates itself thusly as in an establishment of the body; an orientation outward toward ‘other bodies’ as in sites where communication or transaction or exchange of information and quality occurs. The orbital quality and nature of relationship therein is thus – that the poles of the magnet are continually ‘converted’ or ‘turned’ or ‘turning’ – to and through which information is drawn toward and away from oneself as in the cyclic motion of intercourse and reflection – information accumulation and digestion: the conjunctio and the opposition; the aspects and bends of light therein.

IX. In this sense, Creation is eternally resolved and simultaneously seeking to resolve itself by way of a primary magnetism which is a push/pull dynamic between two bodies which are both inherently Itself; yet, seeking to remember itself (themselves, Itself) by way of ‘another’; the primary conjecture of relationship being ‘to know oneself as and through ‘the other’’ as a

                     110


  vehicle which contains, ineffably, knowledge of
  Oneself as in a remembrance, an encounter
  with the face of God.

X. Therein, we are describing and ascribing value (meeting it there) to the cyclical wheel of Creation (as apparent) – the wheel upon wheel within wheel where the apparent cyclical motion and movement of life is maintained by way of investment: investment of the energetic bodies in orbital push/pull with and to one another as in the dance of Shiva and Shakti – the dance of Creation project-ed ‘without’ – wherein Creation resides eternally still and whole, even as the play and dance of the archetypes in orbit ‘plays out’. This is the eternal aspect of the wheel of Samsara, or the very centre of the turning wheel in and at which; from which, Pure Consciousness truly resides and observes, or witnesses, the turning of the Cosmic Seasons of Time.

XI. From this vantage point of Pure Consciousness, there is no space and no time in that ‘space’ is a projection of light-being(s) in ‘relationship’; ‘time’ is a measurement of their ‘apparent movement’ – wherein, as and at the Source as in Creation Itself – there is only Eternal Stillness; the archetypal dance is revealed to be a primordial ‘breathing’; the breath of which appears to be figures dancing, or materials, or things moving, or planets orbiting – all of which in the same metaphysical patterning as described in the prior: as in a ‘binaristic conjunctio and opposition’ – or a dance of duality.

Notes:

The archetypes meet in a Zen koan, or in a yin-yang - the self within the other, the man within the woman, the spirit within the flesh, the life within the death, the night within the day, and so forth.

Our contemporary manner of thinking (or lack thereof) is only a problem of orientation. therein, there is no ‘problem’ or ‘loss’ or ‘grievance’ but that there is no presence of Right Thought, or consciousness aligned with Consciousness as in living as and in light of that which it (the being) is, Nature; furthermore, Being itself. In short, today, a great many (and I daresay a vast majority) do not have any sort of conception of what this innate Beingness is, other than what they are told it ‘is’ religiously, intellectually, or otherwise. This is to say, there is no innate experience of Being as in Beingness embodied as in living - by way of a synthesis of ‘life’ which is entirely artificial in that it is man-made, man-named, and man-designed as in an industrial atmosphere, ecosystem, and culture which pretends it exists, and can exist, without death. This is to say, that it is ‘the new god’, or can take the place of Creation as in a hubris which can only come from a culture that has, deeply (as in disembodied) lost its memory and felt-sense of being Nature itself; the attunement of the natural movements of creation, maintenance, and destruction which are the cosmological laws of (all) seasonal existence - which is to say all ‘existence’ as ‘cyclical’ Being ‘in motion’ as a projection of Pure Creation Pure Consciousness Itself.

Therein, man conceives of products, manifest ‘realities’, materials, territories, bodies, et al - all as reproductions of this primary state of consciousness as in a forgetting as in a ‘separation’ which is entirely imagined; conjured as in an opposition - or furthest point from the conjunction of and with Source (as in an age of hyper-individua), wherein the conjunctio is simultaneously not yet, always, and immanent in that the mass-body-consciousness at large will return to unity with Source in that it will be revelated in Pure

Creation as Being Itself - a revelation which is not the ‘realization’ or ‘enlightenment’ of an opposition (a ‘turning to face God’), but rather an embodiment of Nature, or the God quality consummated. This time could be said to be the moments before, moments of, and moments after said ‘full moon’ of consciousness; one cannot assuredly know - as one witnesses it unfold; unfolding…

The natal chart as in a game of individua- consciousness ‘returning to the centre’ as in a matter of degrees of conjured ‘separation’, as in to learn and observe the nature of wholeness by way of pseudo-separation – a coming back into wholeness or a returning to the Self-Essence.

In this sense, the soul’s journey is out of space and time in that it returns to the source from which space and time spring as conjured movements, projected as ‘being from without’ the whole and wholly Source: Creation.

The natal chart is a journey of remembering Creation by way of intergration of the archetypal spectrum – the opposite and ‘subject’ as they are currently situated (upon birth and the continued dance of the planets) as in a realization of the fundamental fabric and metaphysical Creationary process (‘of Being into Becoming’) of Nature Itself; the identification of itself with and as Nature Itself as in a ‘planetary’ (now revelated to be energetic) centre, or orb or womb of Pure Consciousness wherein the movement of the stars and spheres are ‘projected within-to’. See: The Last Painting of Remedios Varo. Therein, the archetypal orbit and dance around the centre of centres of Creation (ad infinitum); this dance being a dance of the fruit of the gods; wherein Creation bears ‘fruit’, or ‘materializations’, or ‘apparences’, with space-time qualities – ‘matter(s)’. However, this fruit fundamentally is, and is furthermore ‘dependent upon’ as in conditional or conditions, the Source Essence of Creation Itself as in that which is the primordial thrust, engine, or motor which engenders creation (the act, or Becoming) as in the relational sphere between ‘time- space objects’ as in fruits of Creation which are all equally

and each returned to Creation proper by way of the motion or movement of time-space as in the relational sphere to and from which ‘objects’ ‘rise and fall’ as in ‘emergence and re-turn’ as manifest in their very orbital movement and relational dance at all levels of Creation to and from the energetic Essence and Source Quality by way of a ‘winding down’ or exhaustion of their desire to move as in the very illusory quality of the dance unto integration or union or consummation itself. Wherein, said illusory quality is revealed to be illusory as such (or, dis-illusioned) by way of the fundamental realization that the inherent, underlying unity of Source-Creation has been and is undisturbed amidst the turnings of creationary Becomings (or the dance of Being) in that Being is the one that is dancing in and at all spheres and levels of Creation as in the realization of the underlying metaphysical Nature of Creation Itself. Thus it abides in and as Itself; dissolves and returns entirely to awareness of Being in and as Source-‘Form’ Itself. This abeyance and abiding is Awareness of Being Proper, or a dialectical redoubling of Creation Upon Itself as in consciousness which is now-aware of Itself as Being- Creation – a realization which is, paradoxically, a singularity and a dissolution.

You’ll witness it fall to dust and shadow What use is the poem, speak directly to my lover Her silence is deafening She’s not there A panther stalking the ravine A silent nothingness Churning from the bottom A coming sweet death A shattered wine glass An abyss which hangs Over every kiss and touch A night of the flesh A daybreak of blistering light Shining through the day Shining through the night A child that has grown Tall as a tree A corpse Which he has abandoned And nothing. And nothing. And nothing. No poem stretches on forever Cockfights in a village on the equator It’s so hot The hand of creation is elastic The mountain falls; a cliff face rises And empires reveal their hidden meaning – The pointless struggle for power The pointless struggle for meaning. The sage abides in silence Where now is the body? Once so hugged like a glove Or penetrated. Where now is the body? Tall skyscrapers in a modern city Become ancient ruins. The gazing look in my A long goodnight; The headless horseman striding,

A bedtime story A bathroom prayer Whispered in the too young to remember Two junkies in love And nothing. The cut Too young to remember Come and hold me Rolling in and out of clouds of smoke Stormclouds which allow for nonexistence The respite of bedrooms Warm orange light Too young to remember Like Mary seeing There is no sight like Good Like God Black See God in everything and be free Newspaper clippings Where’s my mother? Black Trash in the shadow alleyway Ghosts floating above the abyss Black A revolution Black Stock market crash Mad silence of loss Mad silence of truth Haunted by its true form Between genius and madness is a hair trigger Above genius and madness is truth Lockstep Angel of the soul Fighting and fucking Bleeding the flesh Dance me Fight me Fuck me Can sell no poems

Can make no sense of it The scene dragging on A cold desert A film real Forgotten name of Babylon goddess A script too good to be true Sold at a crossroads To make some extra cash Some joke words She gets stripped naked in hell A new job A new name A new life Some joke words Nothing new under the sun While it slow burns The excitement of desire Your turning face Your young body My young body The malice of a slow afternoon Watching With old beggar eyes A tidal wave of disappointment Haunted by malicious intent Dripping through the soul’s window Watchmen in the night of the soul Sentinels of the night Pissing down the sides of the toilet bowl No such thing as evil Just nearsighted men I know the stars through a computer screen My madness is one most thorough A lover suspended over the abyss Selling courses to the heart Selling alms to the soul Selling reasons to the blind Selling mirrors in a city of the blind Seer poets doing nothing Playing dead like dogs

Smoking hashish and getting high Gambling debts and cyphers Shot through arms, legs, car sides Great flesh of the beast Poached in a new millennium On the plain there is a lot On the lot there is a casino In the casino there is a man In the man there is a nothing Great torments producing big words Whole of creation churns inside them Stumbling mad into madhouses Checking in and checking out Passed out on glass counters Regret there is no underside An impossible dilemma Put between past and future Sent into a hostage negotiation To retrieve a nonexistent witness To a crime which never happened To a crime which happens every day A crime which is a billion years old An old woman dies in her house God dies in the hearts of men If it sounds bad I won’t say it If it hurts you I won’t say it The senates abandoned Because the money is gone I wrote you this letter On a piece of paper Only you will know When and where I am lying So many numbers it makes him forget A man in truth is forgotten A man without truth is not himself; A man without truth is terribly dangerous Everywhere the smell of burning flesh So used to the smell That you don’t smell it anymore But what is flesh other than wood

Plasma Gasoline particles Burning in cars Burning in mausoleums Burning in Iceland Burning in the mad search for name Burning in the mad search for freedom From the tree of life springs a theory A theory which leads to nowhere A land called America A desperate dream In the race of all mad men One will come and lead the rest They will praise him from the gutter And he will burn the sinner’s flesh Have I at a loss for words? My whole world imagined Played the part so well That it felt so real Why not seek to speech Why not seek a pointless breath Why not seek to feel For one Born between life For one Born between death A silly rhyme As long as there’s a market for it The line between a false prophet And a prophet is a checkpoint A jester’s wagon A rolling dirge Rolling through the hills of the damned Caught up at the border A thousand masks For each soul encased in rolling sand Clapping thunder Hiding in the trunk Passing through the hall of time A costumed murder

Writ on the walls Pronounce the rhyme Pronounce the final name of men As the curtain falls A wild violence A mad fervor A fear A fever A sex act A repetition A sinless sin Born of God he has not left God Making love in the agora What man can sin What man can act Hung like Hamlet In the ancient theatre? Sealed within the cask of time Laughing at perdition A thousand sacrifices on the stone steps of the pyramid Betrayed by a friend Betrayed by a lover Betrayed by a rhyme There was a volcano There was an accident Traitor of a lover Traitor of a friend Benedict Caesar Brutus Christ Judas All these names for God don’t end All these names for God Who do the dance to Christ Always dancing One with God Always dancing In a mirage To the oasis to copulation No good word to describe the depths of pain No good word to describe the blinding ecstasy To sing and dance and speak and anguish

So many pointless tears and sighs and smiles What is life, but all the while? What is life after a while? No such thing as a child… No such thing as a child… No such thing as a child Kiss the vivandiere, says Heine from his grave But still I read his words upon the page Still I read his words from beyond the grave Tell me now what’s in a name? What’s the reason for this name you gave? A sinner’s saint, a sinner’s save? A salve to place upon the grave To raise him from the dead to claim His rightful place in stars above While his flesh rots in a mossy box A dove a doe a deer a dame What words pass on said spoke and sprayed The pressbox, chaplain, priestess of pain Who laid me down and laid me sane Who stood upright and walked to work With a pristine buttoned up white dress shirt A story told, a story saved A story passed down and refined to age A mouthpiece spoke with no true words And died without a soul to yearn A soul, no soul who is to say For men laid buried in unmarked grave No poem for dead men no letters lost What’s sunk is sunk is always the cost Fight for cause or fight for life Either way, a man’s fate is strife There is no rhyme, its all crooked here From on high God’s face and beard A jest a joke a play a sport They make love and war on a bloodless court No path to victor but the strongest flame The strongest anger the forceful name Which steers to front and marks the bow And burns the city and rapes the plow

And takes and takes men fall in stride And march in desert for nation’s pride Take heed take solace Whatever you like His mad race marches on to sweet delight With conviction on To paradise

The thing that you and I have in common is death Death is the great Oneness Like a bird flying from the shrubbery of the body Our souls will know the end of the flesh And the beginning of a new witness. Everywhere is my church, my mosque And everything is my prayer. I give no separate time to god.

I lost the world at the moment of my false birth. What is opaque to you to desire To penetrate Is to me a shadow. I pass through the earthly realms of shadow Like a wanderer. I grasp at the passage of time With a nonexistent hand.

I saw you bathing on the roof And I loved you I saw you on the dance floor And I loved you I saw you on the church steps And I loved you And I lived forever in my love for you. How blind must I be To not see through to your heart To know nothing of your ways The secrets of your childhood Your inner sanctum -

The secrets of the soul are truly opaque That which I do not know unto myself Infinitely rises, revealing In poems the magnitude of the rising and falling Which we call time. I loved and I lost And I died In an invisible dream That felt so real to me.

Shattered by the repetition Of an hour like a mantra The waves that batter a shoreline of rocks Rendered smooth and flat. I have no memories which are truly mine; All of my memories are of you.

I dance with iron until I dissolve I dance a warrior’s dance until I fall apart In the mangroves Where it is clear the cause of my roots. Into shade; The sundial of my life slows, abrupt Into a seasonal pulse; I find myself recedent and calm.

Nature has shot through you like a bullet hole Nature has come to claim its inflated prize The true Self has come for the dream. Whoso now lives in this body? Whoso now lives, whispering into this autumn wood? I saw the fallen leaves and I left this body For the veins of the rootless tree Whose roots are beyond time.

Drag you with me on the journey The snake pit of desire Round and round the ancient fire Chanting more desire Fire climbing higher All the masked faces are true To you and you and you and you Functioning in perfect unison A rhythm of perfect union Caught between the dragon’s claws Vex’d and murdered after all By knights on a stupid quest A pilgrimage like all the rest Through the desert, wind and rain They move in stillness Though insane Accumulating the varied prize Woman wife world and wine Round and round the ancient fire Chanting, chanting more desire Using flesh as kindling The moneyed birds begin to sing Again, again, rises spring From the tomb which fall shall bring Lovers copulating in the trees Screaming in the standard plea The breath in, the breath out Emerges from bird’s beak The orgasm which Shiva speaks Round and round the ancient fire Mars and Venus upon the wire They come together and fall apart To birth the young in primodial art To repeat the circle and cycle round The monument of creation found At the centre of the pit Where pleasure and pain go wit to wit And erupt in intercoursing flow The fluid through which life goes The very thorough thread of life

Which winds mouth open and shut tight In gravebox and in fine delight The pleasant speech and the silent wake Which comes after creation’s stake The final breath, the final line The Dionysian world left behind For the stoic pallor of the dead No more wine and beer and bread Spirit Passed through and fled The scenery of space and time The hallway in which masks are hung The gallery in which becomes the archetype Man, a character, stone and tight Frozen in an endless night Peering out over the abyss A tightrope walker between here and bliss Shall he travel out upon the rope Over which he ventures hope A dream he casts into the well Like a coin which soon will dwell Upon his eyes on Charon’s bed Upon the rivers swell and fed With the nurtriments of what remains The fallen laid in watery grave Through the rivers flows the soul Into the galley and down below All upon a sinking ship Rocked to sleep in immortal bliss So it is with life on earth His dream is length, width, and birth – Cast into a worldly vision Seen through the eyes of flesh A caged prism Upon which he spends his imagined life Raising the stakes ever high In his indefatigable pursuit Of pleasure – good and right – Here man is spun from Creation’s design Never leaving the eternal web

But in his dreaming believes he has spread His seed wide and fast across the map A tree dripping with Creation’s sap The fluid of Creation fair In forever’s worship of a proper pair To which his desire is cast Like a net, wide and fast He swallows up, and swallows whole The salt from the ocean below Until his vision is all obscured By the fever which the salt conferred Bloated and full of emptiness He proceeds as no witness To life or truth or the rhythm of Nature In the prison of his imagination All of which has become far too real By his very imagined world he is brought to heel Man paralyzed by that which he unconsciously creates.

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Lecture 1: Saturn Square the Nodes, or, ‘God is the cultural limit’ (Blaise Pascal) – 3/20/22

Seeing that, if we proceed from the philosophical basis astrologically that all things are already perfect and manifest beyond space and time in the creative essence of Being itself, that we have these cycles of the planets that reflect cosmologically a base, basin of the psyche, lets say; that this is always a being-in-relationship of the cosmos and psyche.

We’re using the moon’s nodes as an evolutionary pathway which cuts through life and orients the soul, the collective soul, the world soul, the earth soul (not necessarily the cosmos soul – because here we have to remember there are different planetary nodes in relation to the earth) – and when we’re looking at the moon’s nodes, we’re looking at a mirror, a reflection or a refractory light of cosmic energy and light in relationship to the earth as a sort of satellite, in the same way that Pluto has Charon, the ferryman.

The moon’s nodes here squaring Saturn (at 20 degrees of Aquarius); the term ‘squaring Saturn’ is immediately going to evoke 2021 with the Uranus Saturn square – that square at 12 degrees Taurus – Saturn has been slowly advancing through Aquarius… and right now at 20 degrees of Aquarius it is where it has not yet gone in a whole Saturn cycle. Particularly, here in relationship to separating the orb of the Saturn-Uranus square of 2021 and a good part of 2022 thus-far, into, really immediately, a square with the moon’s nodes. And what this is telling us is that there is an evolutionary direction, orientation (which Jeffrey Wolf Greene calls a ‘skipped step’ in the natal chart) – there’s a collective evolutionary orientation towards what is now, I’m going to loosely use the term and the word ‘problem’, the Saturn ‘problem’ – which again, if you can remember, the Saturn Pluto Jupiter conjunction in Capricorn in the early months of 2020 – there is this Saturn device which has been moving, molding, shaping, over the past couple of years – which is now interacting directly with a square to the nodes.

And this Saturn archetype here is the bounds, it is space- time itself. It is the ontology of being (means the life quality that we are able to infer and defer and confer with consciousness upon being at any given moment in time). My understanding of the essence of being is limited by my psychic ability to confront being, and or my ability to look out into the cosmos and observe being becoming in a nature sense. So if I’m looking out into the cosmos and I’m observing Saturn, the furthest planet visible with the naked eye, I’m observing this ontological, I would almost describe it as, wall of the cosmic womb, where my vision and my senses can only penetrate this far into reality. And the philosopher Pascal calls this phenomenon, he says, ‘god is the cultural limit’ in one of his notebooks. And when we’re talking about that, we’re talking about (and this is something that’s really hard to conceptualize and understand because we’re using language and the limits of our language to confer with the essence of being in order to and to meet being at its very limits, the limits of consciousness). So we’re attempting to cognate, and use our own consciousness to reach the very limits of consciousness itself – which is to say what quantum physicists or astrophysicists do in their attempt to qualify and quantify the cosmic limit, or the essence or reaches of the universe, as well as what depth psychologists do, philosophers, in terms of attempting to reach the basin of the soul, or the depths of the psyche. And these are corresponding limits. So at any given moment in time, we have these two corresponding limits, which are really the same limit: the limit of consciousness in regards to the psyche, in regards to the cosmos. And this forms the foundation of our reality. As far as I am able to go into the depths of my psyche, to achieve cognition of anything – so my understanding of what a tree is, right, is going to be my understanding, in reality, of what Being is. My relationship to Being is going to determine and confer the entirety of meaning, definition upon my reality proper. If I can see the tree as, actually, a manifestation; not even a symbol but a presentation, a manifestation of the larger cosmic nature,

the unfolding of a creative process which exists in several different spheres, microcosmic, macrocosmic…

The idea that William Blake says, in his poem The Marriage of Heaven and Hell: something along the lines of ‘An infinity in an hour, heaven in a wildflower; a world in a grain of sand’. Where we’re able to see on a macrocosmic and microcosmic level the essential relationship of creative nature as in a discoursing between the soul and the spirit, or the cosmos and the psyche – as a sort of binary poles in a dance – where knowledge of one furthers knowledge of the other. My ability to have consciousness actually expands the universe in its ability to, discursively, relate to itself through me as a vehicle of itself, consciousness. And this is obviously a difficult metaphysical concept to consider, not only to consider but to understand – because we’re embodying it actively. And what Saturn square to the nodes after Saturn square to Uranus suggests to me is that there has been what we’re calling a third quarter square – a ‘crisis of consciousness’ – a crisis of consciousness which is really a shattering of the grounds – Uranus in Taurus a shattering of the grounds – of the psychic and cosmological reality which forms the foundation of modern society, forms the foundation of what we call today humanity, which I would say is really the unification point of both Saturn ruled signs, Capricorn and Aquarius… the foundations of said society but then also the organization of said society itself. And what we’re talking about is really, at root, an ontological reorientation as in an expanding understanding and definition of being which is being incorporated and being known at a psychological level: in the depths of the psyche first, and then being, we’ll say converted or translated into a new language or new linguistic which then has to be oriented. And so when we’re speaking we’re orienting speech. When I’m speaking I’m speaking into the microphone, or speaking to an audience, or I’m speaking in regards to attempting to establish a language connection between myself and the earth, or myself and another person, or myself and the cosmos. So when I’m speaking, I have this orientation to being, which is effectively in any sense and any period of

time, a facing of God. So when I’m facing God, how do I speak, what do I speak, and am I actually able to effectively stop speaking, achieve silence, and listen – which is the ability to go past and go beyond language – the Uranian ability to puncture the walls, not just puncture but shatter them. I think Dane Rudhyar uses the term to effectively ‘put a bullet hole’ through the Saturnian wall of ‘reality’ to reveal an even greater and further reach – which until now has been unknown. And that’s precisely what a crisis in consciousness square in terms of Uranus and Saturn details – particularly in the signs of Taurus and Aquarius. What we’re talking about here with Taurus is a shattering of the earth; the earthly grounds, the sensorial center of which the human being and the earth are indistinguishable, in the sense that the human being rises up and falls back into the earth in really what is a fluid movement, a fluid moment. The Saturnian structures here, ruled by Capricorn and Aquarius (Aquarius is where the square was initiated; Capricorn was obviously where the conjunction with Pluto occurred). This shattering not only has worldly implications, but the Aquarius square is the way of relation, the humanity itself. So when we talk about the structures of Capricorn, we’re talking about government, bones, space-time – all of these things that form limits, limitations, structural realities, but themselves are not the innate humanity. Capricorn would be the body where Aquarius would be the intersection of the spirit and the flesh, or the animation of the spirit and the flesh, or the lightning which strikes Frankenstein’s monster and animates him – it is the animated quality of the humanity itself within said structures.

Reaching a further essence in Aquarius; the Saturn Uranus square (we have to return to this because it is such a huge transit) is a re-orientation toward the animating material (Uranus) as it defines the very understood, psychic reality meaning and definition of humanity itself. That kind of square to the nodes; that you get that action immediately after Saturn square to Uranus (a month, two months) – it is a period of radical psychological reorientation that needs to

find way, expression, implementation, orientation (the Saturn work is creating this structural reality, speaking into being, gesturing into being by way of right work, right action, right thought, right speech). This newfound, newly understood reality, that of course I don’t think we’ll see the full gestation of until we have the Saturn conjunct Uranus signature (which of course is the next quadrant of the closing square of Saturn and Uranus). This is definitely one of the more difficult squares to the nodes that you could have; this is a world orientation that is shifting in terms of an uprooting of, when we’re talking about Saturn, all that was into all that will be in light of the information (by information I mean a year long global transit) of a square between Saturn in Aquarius and Uranus in Taurus.

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Lecture 2: Scrying the Planetary Nodes, or, ‘the cosmic order… it is order in here, in our life’ (J. Krishnamurti) – 3/21/22

Today we’ll touch on the planetary nodes; there’s this one quote by Krishnamurti which I think is interesting… it’s from Public Talk #6, given in India 1979, titled ‘Meditation, attention and silence’. I’m going to read that first:

‘So we have brought about order in our life, order in our relationship – which is very important because life is relationship – a movement, an action in relationship. If there is no order in your relationship with your wife, your husband, your children, your neighbor, whether that neighbor is near or very far – forget about meditation. Because if out of having disorder in your life you try to meditate, you will fall into the trap of illusions. So that’s why we have said in these talks – if you have been serious, if you have followed – we have brought about order. Absolute order, not temporary order, absolute order. And that order can look to the cosmic order – you understand? It has a relationship. Let me go into it a little… the order has relationship with the cosmic order. The cosmic order – the setting of the sun, the rising of the moon, the marvelous sky of an evening with all the beauty – merely examining the universe through a telescope is not order. It is order in here, in our life. That order has an extraordinary relationship with the universe, you understand all this? Doesn’t matter.’

So that quote, I think, shoots us right into the conversation on the planetary nodes. So I was discussing this with a fellow evolutionary astrologer today, kind of getting a little deeper into this concept of the planetary nodes, which really goes hand in hand with the lunar nodes – as we understand them. This evolutionary orientation which is an intersection of the moon, the movement of the moon, with the movement of the earth. I’ll read to you, I’m going to use a definition that one of my teachers, Ari Moshe Wolfe gave:

‘you can create planetary nodes, including the moon, by looking at the orbital path of the celestial body intersecting the ecliptic’. With the moon, these are the nodes of the moon. With Pluto, these are the nodes of Pluto. With Saturn, these are the nodes of Saturn.

So this is an astronomical phenomenon. This intersection is when a lunar eclipse happens (a full moon on a nodal point); when a solar eclipse happens (a new moon on a nodal point) – we are understanding these points to be intersections. So in this sense, we have different planetary eclipses. Again, these are archetypal eclipses. So we have these phenomena – we can have this whole other discourse (in relation to our talk yesterday regarding Saturn square the moon’s nodes; square Uranus) of what it means when Saturn squares its own nodes, in terms of a larger evolutionary orientation, as well as Pluto squaring its nodes, as well as the nodes of the moon squaring Pluto’s nodes, or the nodes of the moon conjunct Pluto’s nodes. So for reference here, I’m going to dig into the planetary node ephemeris a bit (this is courtesy of Mark Jones, an evolutionary astrologer and a therapist) – we look at the nodes of the planets in March 2020 – and this is where we have that kind of sea change event of Saturn, Pluto, and Jupiter all conjunct in Capricorn at the end degrees, and this is what we find. 19 degrees of Capricorn 15 minutes – Jupiter south node. 27 degrees of Capricorn 41 minutes – Saturn south node. 22 degrees of Capricorn 4 minutes – Pluto south node. So that conjunction occurred right at 22-23 degrees of Capricorn. This is a whole other springboard, level, and layer of loaded information – all within a 5 degree orb from exact conjunction… I would almost call this a kind of genetic loading, this is the term that I would use for south node conjunction, particularly to an outer planet. The conjunction is loaded with a genetic power, or a genealogical power (we can refer back to Nietzsche and the Genealogy of Morals) in the sense that there is a genealogical power or an inheritance or a seed state of the planet (to refer to the Pluto notion of transformation) which is the evolutionary orientation of that planet proper in relation to the earth… so if, here, we’re

talking about Jupiter, there is this larger Jupiterian arc (to refer back to the nodes) is this intersection of the orbital path of the celestial body (Jupiter) with the ecliptic (the earth) – this larger evolutionary orientation which is a direction in orientation – a speaking into existence via the relationship between Jupiter and the earth. This speaking is what we call the evolutionary orientation in terms of the nodes. In this sense, in this relationship, ‘this is where we are going’.

So we’re doing this on the fly here… this orientation is how we normally talk about the moon’s nodes; when we’re speaking about the moon’s nodes in relation to a natal chart, we’re using the moon’s nodes in relationship to Pluto in understanding what are the past life, present life, and future life consequences of the soul proper, and in doing so, we’re looking at this orientation as something that is an arrow through time and space, orienting the soul in a particular direction. Looking at the planetary nodes, not only in relation to the natal chart – but let’s say to a world transit or a world chart – what we’re doing is we’re looking at the orientation of this larger, overarching archetype, in time and space, in relation to its current position and standing in relation to the earth – in a way that we can say, ‘okay, there’s [we can take March 2020 for instance] currently this genetic load (south node Jupiter, Saturn, Pluto), a genetic load of transformative, structural, expansion capability (a springboard capability)’… it’s hard to describe the added gravity you get from this transit – because there’s a conjunction of Saturn, Jupiter and Pluto – atop all of their south nodes, which is to say: insofar as we are concerned at this moment in time, the origin, or the history of these planetary archetypes, the place from which they are springing, they are all unified or gathered together on that place of the south nodal conjunction of each of them which you could describe as their, the entirety of their history or genealogy – which is why I would use the term genetic load. Because if we’re talking about a genetic load, it’s a predisposition or something that the organism is capable of, latent within the organism due to various

different ancestry and inheritance, that at any moment can arise from the organism. We can use this term genetic load in relationship, not only to the organism, to the soul, to the planets; I think it is an accurate term to use, not only for the planetary nodes, but for the moon’s nodes – in terms of this evolutionary orientation – which can either be met, or pressed back against. Ari has said this as well as Jeffrey Wolf Green – that with the evolutionary intention of the soul, or the desires of the soul that arise in this incarnation, you can either approach these intentions and engage them, you can say wrestle with them like Jacob on the mount with God, or Hercules, in the sense that Alice Bailey refers to Hercules – where we engage the archetypes of the zodiac and engage them as in trials – where these trials are simultaneously jokes and jests of the universe in terms of being upon the cosmic wheel of samsara, where we ultimately arrive where we began and end up where we began. I was talking with Ari about Ramana Maharshi today – this kind of idea that between Aquarius, Pisces, and Aries – which is the genius, which is pure observation or meditation without reflection – the genius which runs immediately into Pisces – the cusp of Aquarius and Pisces and then the cusp of Pisces and Aries – which is the nondual commandment of ‘take I am and let the rest go’, or find this essential, inherent nature of being and attribute the rest of that to becoming within this larger inherent nature and essence of being.

So when we do this genealogy work, or this work of history in the natal chart or the world chart… it is a work which necessarily has a lot of different indicators. So if we’re using the planetary nodes, we’re using the planetary nodes in conjunction with the moon’s nodes to understand something about history and heritage of the archetype, which can be tracked as an astronomical relationship between the planetary body and the earth.

I do want to go back for a second, and touch on that Krishnamurti quote – I do think there’s relevance here. Where Krishnamurti is talking about finding absolute order in terms of an understanding of the nature of being, which is

the cosmic order. So he mentions the setting of the sun, the rising of the moon – and you can see here the importance historically and culturally around the world – where there are so many cultures that have had this relationship with astrology and astonomy as something which intersects with and corresponds with philosophy, in that it allows you to have a further understanding of being – not only an understanding of the cosmic being and becoming, but correspondingly and immediately, relatively and reflectively, the psychic being and becoming – the psychic order. This is really a powerful understanding that comes about in the increasing advent of psychology in the West; obviously psychology is something that has been in existence for thousands of years in many different societies – under various different terms – religion, philosophy, what have you. In the West you have Kierkegaard and Freud and Jung, as these figures that increasingly go into a study and a science of the psyche… and I really do like this one painting, by Edward Burne Jones, called ‘The Baleful Head’; its Medusa, Perseus gazing into what it looks like, a bit of a reflecting pool, I get the scrying glass, where he’s scrying in order to see Medusa’s face without being turned to stone. The image and the idea there of that scrying glass and the reflecting pool, as a way to look within to see without is this nature of the cosmos and psyche relationship that we’re discussing here; obviously the book by Richard Tarnas comes to mind, but I think we want to go a bit more into the depth psychology end of that relationship, and see, along with Krishnamurti in this quote, ‘the order has a relationship with the cosmic order’ – he’s talking about relationships – relationship with yourself, your neighbor; in meditation – which is the dissolution into an abiding experience of oneness in which the language falls away, or the conception of the order falls away. He’s saying, ‘it’s an order in here – in our life… examining the universe through a telescope is not order’ – so when we’re talking, the advanced science of astrology is that we’re looking at the chart; when we’re looking at the chart we’re not just looking at some sort of planetary order or evolution of becoming (and I think it is very easy to make this sort of mistake) –

we’re looking at the relationship of the archetypes – not only as they ‘appear in the heavens’, but within man – in terms of this cosmological condition – which exists both in the depth of the soul, the inmost, furthestmost point, as well as in the heavens, in spirit. The outmost, furthestmost point. These two points are one and the same. And this is what we see in the natal chart.

This is the kind of orientation the planetary nodes can provide us: in terms of situating us at, I don’t want to say ‘the historical limit of space and time’, but situating us from a place of understanding massive time in terms of a larger inheritance that is being brought into this moment – a genetic inheritance or what Jung would call ‘the collective unconscious’ in relation to the planetary south node, or the collective desire to transform, to evolve, which would be the Plutonic aspect of the relationship between the north node and the south node, the moon, any of the given planets. And so understanding these nodes as crosses in the chart, where they cross eachother and relate to eachother; seeing the planets relate to them, the planetary bodies engage with them, as well as the message of the natal chart in an evolutionary sense – looking at the moon’s nodes and Pluto – these are all methods of enhancing our ability to relate, and relate to the chart in such a way as to say, not only are these archetypes present in an historical-less sense (in the sense that they have always been eternally present and perfect, in the sense that these are perfect aspects of God; God is perfect in the sense that Nature is a perfect Being in constant stillness beyond language – silence – the meditation is where we approach it) – these archetypes, they’re simultaneously history-less and have these genetic loads or inheritances that we may or may not be aware of; these inheritances reside at certain points in the chart which make relative aspects with the current happenings, or events of the chart – as in the time compass rose moving through space and through time. This is a way of coming into deeper understanding of history and of time, as well as the use of the astrological ages (in terms of the processional equinox) – these are all different ways of measuring time. The

definitions we give them are the definitions we give them; they’re incessantly and infinitely debatable constructs. When we’re looking to come into deeper relationship, we can understand (again with the Krishnamurti quote) that the desire (we would hope) would be the desire to come into deeper relationship – regardless of whether we’re interacting with ourselves, a partner, or the natal chart, or the universe or the cosmos – in the sense that we understand all of these things to be one thing – the cosmic order, the unfolding of Being into Becoming, the very essence of Cosmic Nature… to come into deeper relationship, we must know the cosmic order as within and without ourselves to the point of which it is collapsed – the simultaneity of cosmos and psyche.

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Lecture 3: Karma & Archetypal Integration, or, ‘Eichmann was not Iago and not Macbeth’ (Hannah Arendt) – 3/21/22

This concept of the spheres, the cosmic spheres and an attunement to them. There is also, in this archetypal understanding that we are cultivating in the practice of astrology, or divination or philosophy, mythology, psychology – all of these studies, these studies of nature which are occurring at a metacognitive level. In our studying and practice of these metacognitive disciplines, we begin to have a clearer understanding of when a karmic archetype is activated, or reactivated; there is, in this sense, the karma of the archetype is the archetype coming again, or the recurrence of the archetype. In Nietzsche, we have this idea or concept of the ‘eternal recurrence’ – which, practically, is the becoming again of being – in the sense that the becoming again is a cycle we have not yet seen in a new way. In the sense that spring comes again, there is a difference about spring, a remarkable difference that spring is happening again but differently – this sense is a sense that we cultivate as an attunement to the karmic recurrence of the archetype – which might be called in a Jungian sense synchronicity… a deeper understanding of synchronicity is that we are tracking a historical development of the coming again of the archetype. We don’t have this feeling or sensation of synchronicity (we do have it as a lived or felt experience that this is happening in such a way that it is connecting to previously unconnected points in space or time as in synapses, or that they’re happening simultaneously as in a folding over of space and time) – that this archetype is coming again and coming to pass, not necessarily in a way of ‘sameness’, but that it is revealing an undercurrent of karmic energy or life force energy that is again reaching a certain point or seeking culmination or resolution. We can observe this in our lives as in the teachers we have, the friends we have, the lovers we have – and again this is all being in relationship – so we can refer to the astrological principle of the planetary orbit, or cycles of

planetary relationship between one cosmic body and another cosmic body – in the way that they unite, disperse, separate, form an opposition… and unite again. We can form a deeper understanding of what exactly any sort of karma entails, in that it is an archetypal encounter, or reencountering, or an about face in which we catch a glimpse of an archetypal significance as it relates to the soul and the soul journey – but one that is occurring in a slightly different way as in an urging forward. Any sort of karmic encounter, again, is going to evoke the evolutionary imperative – to engage this encounter wholeheartedly and come to understand that which the archetypal experience is seeking to signify – which is to say, to uncover the essential meaning beneath the symbol – the life force energy which is contained within the archetypal symbol – whereas we say Mars is the principle of action, but that active energy within the archetype and symbol and even planetary body of Mars is not necessarily an image; by no means is it actually an image – its an active life force energy. In the same way that we might describe Venus as the receptive, the vessel, the womb.

These are not images; we can reach at them, poke at them with language – they are ultimately always already deeper than the symbolic language that is being leveraged to describe them in that they are life force energies themselves – in the way the gods were formerly conceived. They were breaths… of life…

With the karmic recurrence of the archetype, which is to say there is a cycle of becoming, or samsara, or Maya, or a projection or illusion of Being – where in one way or another our soul is seeking resolution (I almost said revolution), resolution through the cycling of desire – or the staying upon the wheel in order to experience in such a way that: ‘you know something is resolved when you can look at it and feel peace’ (from with Ari a little bit earliter). Any sort of primary tension, the lived experience and feeling of tension and friction – this is something that you can feel, just basic reality – a friction between another planetary body,

another person, a desire, a feeling – any of these frictions that are occurring within and as the psychic state, the psychic state is just our relation to being proper at any given time, lived, conscious relation to being – the psychic state… any sort of friction or tension or feeling within the body in relation to something ‘without the body’ is seeking integration (as in a fiction) precisely because of that conceived binary, duality, dualism, which in reality is nonexistent, but is created synthetically for the precise purpose of a redoubling of consciousness, or a reintegration of archetypal material hitherto which the soul has ‘disidentified itself with or from in order to experience itself as in another consciously’. Becoming into wholeness.

When we have these karmic experiences, what they are in their truest form is dreams. A karmic experience or karmic recurrence of the archetype is that the dream is coming again in a slightly changed form to suggest something that is being suggested in the root, basin, and bowl of the psyche – as in an archetypal experience that is seeking integration into the soul as in an encounter with the conjectured ‘other’, ‘monster’, or ‘God’ – whatever you want to call the ‘being- without’ conjecture. Again, in terms of a becoming-whole. Stan Grof talks about this in terms of a ‘holotrophy’ or ‘holotropy’. This becoming into wholeness… and this is the journey of the soul; this is also the journey of the universe in the sense that the soul and the universe are integrating, intregrating cosmic and psychic material – the cosmic and psychic material are simultaneous – at one and at once in and as the furthestmost and the inmost point and centre of creation. Studies by MIT where we now understand that the universe is composed 99% of plasma; what does that evoke? The bioplasma which is 50% of the blood in the body… these substances which compose, in a very fluid sense, the very structure and essence and nature of what we conceive of as the very ‘phyiscal reality’ are always in relationship with one another; in this sense are forming relative networks. And in this relative networking, there are intersections, crossroads, turning points, in the sense that we are, in the lived experience, finding new direction and ways

to navigate situations which are eternally recurring as in the lived experience itself – that the soul is coming again into life with new face, front, ontology to being – that which it is, and experiencing this unitary difference (again, to evoke the Zen koan or the fundamental paradox of two and one) – and seeking new orientation, direction, or way to be directly and intimately related to being itself proper. In this order, and by way of this order, the archetypal recurrence is precisely the point of tension, the point of friction, or the point of restriction or the bound at which the soul reaches – which is to say consciousness reaches and feels itself hit a wall, or hit a limit – and this limit is the limit of which how far it has gone. When I say, in this Saturn cycle, Saturn has gone this far into Aquarius; it has not yet gone any farther in this continuance – in the sense that the cycle has reached its furthestmost point before initiating a new cycle – is to say, the archetype is adventuring again, through the cosmos, to a point of reintegration and resolution as in the start of the new cycle, or we could say Saturn at 0 degrees of Aries, which would be the Aries equinox of Saturn or something along those lines. This reintegration point where it is born again into the ‘I am’ formation, figuration, from the waters of Pisces, the waters of consciousness – that this archetype is reaching a point where it has already been – Saturn has already been in Aquarius at 20 degrees many times throughout recorded human history and otherwise, but it has not reached this point in this specific archetypal configuration, with the nodes, with the existing planets where they are, stationed where they are, the knowledge of those planets (the incorporation of Pluto into the astrological consciousness in the early 1900s) – knowledge of the planetary nodes in the way that we know them now, the disciplines in the way that we know them now, the ways to apply information – to and from the cosmological chart that we know now, various different cultures and disciplines that have come together in a multidisciplinary history… Saturn is coming again but it is coming in an entirely different fashion.

To grasp this, cosmologically, is to grasp, psychologically or psychically, the reason of archetypal karma… (cont. on audio file)

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Lecture 9: The Master/Slave Dialectic, or, ‘the great liberator of man from the phantoms that have held him captive’ (Emma Goldman) – 3/29/22

So the topic here today is going to be a slavery economy. This is kind of building off the Brando quote from the last talk as well as some essays I wrote, even a couple of years ago now, regarding the trans-Atlantic slave trade as economic modernity. As long as we have lived and existed, the way to describe ‘humanity’, the only way to describe ‘humanity’ is the concept or institution of slavery as an economic condition. And there has been no place and no time that has been exempted from the condition of slavery. A feudalism, a caste system, a capitalism, an outright slavery – the bold and bald manifestation of it as you’ve seen in America, you see in Nazi Germany, you see in Ancient Egypt… all of these different places that have instituted conceptions of slavery based around race, ethnicity, gender, class – whatever sort of social, political, cultural categorization mechanism that you want to use to institute a sort of social difference that creates these caste and class systems through which work is being transmitted or labor is being driven as in the enslavement or the harnessing of desire or drive as in the impulse toward life, to pure survival. So what it comes down to is survival and criminality – in the sense that life in human society is crime insofar as the condition of slavery exists, as in a caste system or a class system, through which there are essentially (beyond the Marxian conception of the proletariat and the bourgeoisie, or the ruling class and the underclass) the slaves and the masters. So you have this master slave dialectic or morality as discussed by Nietzsche. But we want to take it a step further and make it a bit more literal.

There is no society in human history that has existed, no civilization that has existed in human history, recorded human history, that has existed without slavery – slavery that is either explicit or implicit. So, today, you have what we might call an ‘implicit slavery’. In America, upon the

institution of ‘America’, up until the Civil War, you have an explicit slavery. Same thing in Ancient Egypt, Nazi Germany… what we want to identify these things as as not ‘anomalies’ – the genocide that occurred in Nazi Germany is not an anomaly. The period of slavery that instituted, jumpstarted, created, the American civilization as we know it today is not an anomaly – in fact it is a building block and a foundation of human civilization and empire in terms of any sort of functioning civilization that had any sort of power whatsoever instituted within it is dependent upon this master-slave relationship. Which is to say, if you want to term the master-slave relationship today: you have the private sector billionaires, and their ruling class or their managers – the political elite, those who run the political systems which discharge the police officers, the judicial system, upon the slaves, or the underclass, or the ones who are doing the work of the laboring.

What we want to suggest here, as controversial as it may sound… (cont. on audio file)

All souls on their way to immortality Paradox paradox paradox There is no true language Silence I will now tell you the immortal truth I have forgotten the immortal truth Silence Silence Silence Hot breath of creation bears down and makes image of sound Big black bear on his hind legs Image of sound so real You imagine Birds in the radiator Flowers in your lover’s mouth All paradise of infinite out of reach but through the object Which must be attained The mad silence of knowledge Everyone knows Everyone speaks Mating songs The poem exists like an isotope And the poem is, practically, an isotope The narrative bridge falls apart Taking with it the metaphorical The image quality And the poem is left to itself True and pure creation What it says of itself is a myth, a lie, a storybook Writ everywhere Large upon everything The name that leaps from the mouth of Creation. Poets waxing All names for God All names for poets waxing and seen as figures Emerging out from the shroud of the true endless fog Apparitions of consciousness Out from the endless sea Rising from the swamp

Vectors of light Bringing word Visions of Jacob and Elijah and Moses Hallucinations of God made manifest God manifest in all things God manifest as all things And the things gone from vision The ground gone from life To pure life, pure groundlessness It would shatter man The revelation So it comes on slowly Like a lost morning Recapitulating the dreams of desires Slowly fading pleasures Myths of the flesh returned to the storehouse Seat of the soul Endless bliss Of Being whole Experienced at the level of the psychic From which the life of the body proceeds The cells resplendent And knowing The true word cannot be said And yet it is always said And resides in all places At all times This is discernment The discernment that is all inclusive For there is no division but as a dream In which the dreamer envisions himself within. A sheath of consciousness Or better yet a veil A lens through which the image is doubled And henceforth an image of life emerges From the olfactory essence of life itself It tastes itself In the nectar of sex, wine, night It tastes itself In the potion of blood, salt, flesh

And breathes in the scent of ground And breathes in the scent of earth. What paradox knows the ground of its own groundlessness? What paradox knows the life of its own projection? We could say, the dreamer and the dream of course.

I watch the sky I watch the leaves I watch the grass I am the sky I am the trees I am the grass

On the Aquarius Archetype

Verena: I think the fixed nature of it is that it is consciousness itself – that it is eternally true in the sense of Being (Cosmic Self, OneSelf, WholeNess, ThingNess, Life Force Energy) Becoming (as in a play of ‘perceived movement’ as in the rise and fall of figures, objects, flashes of light, Maya, projections, the cycles of the seasons, life, death, etc). That this is the fixed aspect of witnessing the play – that Consciousness is observing itself ‘unfolding’, when in reality the Being is already Absolutely and Eternally Whole and Perfect. This doesn’t change; perhaps it appears to; I think this is when the Jupiterian aspect interjects as in interpretation and we begin to ‘think’ we are observing a true reality, becoming, manifestation as emergent from the wheel of life. Becoming possessed by belief, or knowledge, etc. Discernment is witness consciousness – Aquarius.

I don’t blame you, I don’t think it is an easy concept to grasp. But I do think it is what we’re talking about when we’re talking about enlightenment; Aquarius into Pisces is the enlightenment of the sage as in Self Realization which is the reunion (which always already was) with the Life Force Source which composes all ‘things’ as they rise and fall – that the sage identifies with the inherent ‘thingness’ of all things and thus is returned into and as Source (that which the sage always already was, Pisces).

I think of the midpoint of the fixed signs (avatar degrees, gates of the avatar) as in Beltane, Samhain, Imbolc (in the case of Aquarius) etc – as the turning points wherein the season seems suspended as in the leap into the abyss which is the dissolution of the mutable into the spring of the cardinal. It’s a pivot point, if you think just in terms of the body, or a basketball player pivoting on one foot to gain better ground. The moment at which we leap into the changing fashion of the mutable, the falling of the previous season into the death and birth again of the coming cardinal

sign. Nothing about the ‘fixed signs’ is really fixed – it is like Kierkegaard says, it is the moment in which we leap into the abyss or the faith in the death and rebirth process. It appears fixed because it is [momentously] suspended between the birth and death. If we’re thinking about the three modes of cardinal fixed and mutable as A-U-M (Brahma, Vishnu, Shiva) – fixed is Vishnu, or the preserver. Shiva (mutable) is death, dissolution, destruction; Brahma is creator. I do think it is important to recognize fixed mode as a seasonal mode like all the rest – that life appears briefly suspended into the fold of Shiva or Pluto or the soil or the groundless ground of death for new transformation – to rise again in changed form.

I’m not sure what you’re defining ‘fixed’ as, and that might be part of the problem… as Wittgenstein says: ‘all philosophical problems are language problems’. This is just my take on it; of course this is all archetypal information so I could be just as off base as anyone or anything else. This is the nature of the Aquarius-Jupiter interaction described above. The moment I break the silence of witness in an attempt to interpret or describe, I am necessarily structuring ineffability by way of use of language concepts. We’re talking about it as we’re doing it. The silence of witness without the interjection of thoughts or judgements is precisely the kind of teleological suspension which is the Aquarian archetype. It is the witness which is wholeness. The moment it occurs, it dissolves into Pisces unity consciousness; the witness dissolves…

… I think you’re exactly right. That the present moment as in a nowness is eternal… Eckhart Tolle talks a lot about this I think, as with Meister Eckhart and a lot of meditation teachers and practitioners. We live in the infinite when we don’t ‘accumulate’ past or ‘ruminate’ on future as conceptual realities which really don’t exist. But I think, again, this is what Ari is talking about when he says a possibility in Aquarius is conspiracy theories – we move into a grounded groundlessness of the infinite where it can feel ‘safer’ to grasp immediately onto some conceptual ledge of

‘reality’ and assert another image or another narrative in the perceived fear of the bottomless bottom of the eternally open ‘now’. The present moment would be ‘Being’. The Samsara, or the ‘Becoming’, would be ‘time’ or ‘space’, or the perception of the world turning and churning and all of the birthings and deathings within that time/space frameworking of perception. Again, I really like Ari’s image of the stadium to describe this witnessing action. It is almost like, ‘Seeing through the ‘I’ of God’ as in an eyes of eternal present. The being present with is so nuanced; of course some of the best poetry that evokes this (I think) is in the Tao Te Ching. Nature observing Itself.

… Was thinking of another way to conceive of this: Aquarius is the 'I am' mantra in the Advaita Vedanta tradition, as in 'I am [Being]' or 'I am [The Cosmic Whole]'. The language use here would reflect the witness-ing state. Pisces would be, literally, the amness of that statement without words (or even the ‘possibility’ of ‘words’ as in the literal AUM or hum of the universe in which all words are ineffably ‘a-p-art’), or the silence of the beingness abiding in the beingness. Here, the witness is dissolved.

I wonder though, if we aren't talking more about the movement from Aquarius into Pisces and their 'polarity points' Leo and Virgo - in that at that very moment of transition the witness ability and detach-ability dissolve - wherein the witness becomes one with the Being; even the 'Becoming' ceases to exist as an illusion. Of course, we see historically sages or monks, as with Ramana Maharshi for instance, who sat sometimes entirely still enraptured with and as Being, or the abiding in the 'I am' state. I would argue that this is, archetypally, a siding 'too far' with the Aquarius-Pisces aspect of the axis as in, by way of perhaps the 'conviction of enlightenment' (similar to the Buddha sitting under the Bodhi tree or his fasting and Christ's fasting). A spiritualization of exactly what you describe above, the potentials and possibilities and even 'conditions' of incarnation (the Saturnian; the work therein, the Virgoan within the Piscean). I do think, that regardless of what level

of spiritual development one is at or convinced one is at, that archetypal balance is in order with Nature as in a real and true recognition of, as you say, both the ineffable Being and the projected Becoming as in the embodiment of the very Beingness of Nature itself. Epictetus says, 'all our thoughts and behaviors should be shaped on the divine model'; Krishnamurti says,

Even if this model is a game, or a play, or a theatre - should we not in this life and in this theatre strive to know it ever more and play with it, as it; even learning how to change with it, as it? (My Pluto is seeping into our conversation). The transformative essence and Nature of Creation is us. Why should we not do both? To live in light of the ineffable as in the 'beyond' quality, while simultaneously doing our Virgo and Leo work of self making and self playing and self changing and self maintenance, our work which, in the Virgo/Pisces sense is: 'If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, Infinite.' (Blake). Can we not cultivate that attunement within and as

and to the Now even Now? Even if we conceive of ourselves to be knowing this Aquarian/Piscean truth of 'I am'? Can we not, even Now, come into even greater and deeper communion with that Oneness? The Leo archetype to me, at the level in which we are speaking, is the self-creative ability which is the very Transformative essence and Nature of Creation. Pluto is the black sun of alchemy. As above, so below. To know that Nature of Creation is a type of creative freedom in and as which we can come into true spiritual communion without the cultural Saturnian; rather, to do and make and continually inter and inner-relate our own psychic Saturn and Uranus - to continually create upon the very ledge of the abyss of Creation, proper - fearlessly and boldly. 'The truth is like a lion. You don't have to defend it. Let it loose. It will defend itself.' (St. Augustine of Hippo). I do think this quote is in direct relation to soul-work (the bearing of the fire-water down to earth, Prometheus). This soul-spirit relationship is at the crux of deepening knowledge, awareness, and creative work. Even in the enlightenment of Being and Becoming, I think the journey (as in the Nature of the Eternal Now) has just begun!

i am the greatest fool i do not exist i wear a thousand masks i am always changing, like the seasons and yet i am still, i never change. i breathe, and have no mouth. my voice reverberates throughout the cosmos and yet, i never speak. silence is my word; the world is my game. all images are graven images, and yet, all images are my laughing game. this world is a hall of mirrors and in each mirror, you see myself. who am i? the i consciousness, the eye of god, the all witness; the all purveyor - the one eternally present for the three act play - of creation, preservation, and destruction. in one fell swoop, i arrive and all godheads are me, like snakes from the head of medusa, like heads from the neck of the hydra. the very breath of athene is my presence; the very sword of achilles is my word. i who was never born; i who will never die by virtue of my never having been born. who is to say if i am good or bad? if i have come or gone? as i am present even in the appearance of leaving; as i am present even in the assumption of evil. i am the dictator and the beggar, the prophet and the horse

i am the hitler and the noose, the trial and the court; i am the hercules within each man and the salome within each woman. all dreams are my manifestation; all dreams tell the story of my remembrance. i am recollected like the teeth of osiris; the skin of michelangelo

the feet of dionysus. all limbs return to me, vishvarupa consciousness. jai guru! even the darkness is my gullet and in the chambers of my body the candle that is lit is i, the god consciousness, the all seeing i. pervasive, i am the hawk’s pupil and the rat’s scurrying gaze

and from all angels i observe the true object, myself reflected in the skybox of eternity, the prism of full vision; the spectrum of color which exceeds physical sight. such a light is blinding fire; i am lit from within and thus glow like the torso of apollo in the hands of rilke, or rodin. i saw the angel in the marble and i carved him free; i saw the angle of light as it came through the window of the soul and changed form. i witnessed myself incarnate; i witnessed myself through the prism of the soul through the chapters of mud; through the volumes of sand; through the acts of primordial creation; i rose up through myself and declared this brief song which i did not know then to be eternity. ever present, am i, in this moment hiding in plain sight: a chair, a breath, a thought, a lover’s delight. near am i, like an intimate and yet you take me to be far from you, like some mirage or oasis. you run to me; stumbling, desperate to drink from the fount of my life and yet i am within you, as you are within me. so why do you run from me? even as you run toward me?

to know me, a man must be deranged. to fail to know me, a man must be insane. i am the exiled truth, or otherwise the forgotten one - the shadow of death which lingers over every waking moment of this bright dream. you feel haunted only that you are the limb that has gone missing from the center by your own volition. the soul forgets so it may remember but the soul is i who i have willingly forgotten. who is to say why? perhaps it is my pleasure to forget. i, myself, forget why i have forgotten. it was so long ago in the present. i, who know no past nor future, i, who am divine yet perfectly ordinary - i, who take no shape and yet am all things; i, who take all forms and yet am nothing. who shall speak my name? who shall remember my flesh and outfit me with the truest word? only the perfect nobody who is me, of course. i am always you, you who are only ‘you’ by nature of this pleasant forgetting, this dream state from which you are slow to waking the sunday afternoon of your life the calling hours all of which are my name and the present moments which are the silence of the siren song. i hear only silence even amidst the city center and i touch only myself in the constant vibration of my voice which resounds in the container of my infinite body which even now touches upon forgotten corners of the universe. what new song strays farther than this? who so strays beyond myself? it is i, the coming of the new word,

the transfigured form which is always i, god in disguise as a beggar or a king. who is to say the king is not a beggar in disguise, nor the beggar a king? i have no use for titles; i have no use for fame. all is within me. who so could be a greater lover than i? i have no lover and no equal, i who am whole and unto myself. to a man who has forgotten me, i sound like a boast. to the man who has remembered me, i am the eternal host. he is forever at my table at a banquet with no end. i eat myself forever. the lover and the beloved are both my name; dante and beatrice are me, as are shiva and shakti. i am both of them in my eternal union. who shall surpass me? i myself, i who am the greatest fool.

164

What we are learning in this life is how to move with prana (life force energy) as that which we are.

This is the death of all egoic states as in states of attachment as in ‘desires’, or projections of life from without.

This is the integration of the knowledge received in the jnana yoga, or the realization that ‘all is one and now and everpresent and whole’ – as in the dissolution of the ‘individual’ self (conjecture) into the Cosmic Self Whole.

This is the movement with prana wherein prana is always already retained; in the vessel, the process of self-circulation is underwent as in a microcosmic and macrocosmic ‘following’ of the Cosmic Nature as in a manifestation and expression of it as that which and through which it flows.

This is to say: the organism is itself manifest expression of the Cosmic Nature. It is allowed free will to know of itself and inquire into its true nature by way of the conference of consciousness – wherein Krishna witnesses himself through the eyes of his lover; God witnesses himself through the eyes of Job.

For the organism to learn of itself and apply itself as in manifestation or incarnation of the Divine Order as in a flowing through it, the organism is choosing, actively, to not only seek to know and commune with the Divine Order, but to drop conceptual realities in favor of the Reality, proper, or the metaphysical order embodiment.

This means, of course, the integration of biological and cultural ‘realities’ into and as a practice of Divine Order – wherein the life is organized in, as, of, and around the Divine Order itself.

Living an objectless life is the recollecting of Oneself as in the prana state of all life; the returning of wholeness and unity as in consciousness to itself through itself by way of the spiritual practice which has no desire other than the

communion with itself – Oneself. This is to say that it is already whole within itself (the Cosmic Order). The practices therein reflect the knowledge of the practitioner in regards to this realization. For in Being there is no Becoming; in Becoming there is the illusion of ‘no being’.

‘The Venerable Ascetic Mahavira for a year and a month wore clothes; after that time he walked about naked, and accepted the alms in the hollow of his hand. For more than twelve years the Venerable Ascetic Mahavira neglected his body and abandoned the care of it; he with equanimity bore, underwent, and suffered all pleasant or unpleasant occurrences arising from divine powers, men, or animals.’

— Kalpa Sūtra 117

‘Henceforth the Venerable Ascetic Mahavira was houseless, circumspect in his walking, circumspect in his speaking, circumspect in his begging, circumspect in his accepting (anything), in the carrying of his outfit and drinking vessel; circumspect in evacuating excrement, urine, saliva, mucus, and uncleanliness of the body; circumspect in his thoughts, circumspect in his words, circumspect in his acts; guarding his thoughts, guarding his words, guarding his acts, guarding his senses, guarding his chastity; without wrath, without pride, without deceit, without greed; calm, tranquil, composed, liberated, free from temptations, without egoism, without property; he had cut off all earthly ties, and was not stained by any worldliness: as water does not adhere to a copper vessel, or collyrium to mother of pearl (so sins found no place in him); his course was unobstructed like that of Life; like the firmament he wanted no support; like the wind he knew no obstacles; his heart was pure like the water (of rivers or tanks) in autumn; nothing could soil him like the leaf of a lotus; his senses were well protected like those of a tortoise; he was single and alone like the horn of a rhinoceros; he was free like a bird; he was always waking like the fabulous bird Bharundal, valorous like an elephant, strong like a bull, difficult to attack like a lion, steady and firm like Mount Mandara, deep like the ocean, mild like the

moon, refulgent like the sun, pure like excellent gold'; like the earth he patiently bore everything; like a well-kindled fire he shone in his splendour.’

— Kalpa Sūtra 118

I still lusted from without I still coveted knowledge And I still sought to maintain my power. And in these ways I did not yet know or understand What it was to be in right alignment. For I knew the divine order and yet I did not live the divine order I had it in my head as a mental image And yet I did not practice it in my life. What it would look like to practice this divine order Is the immense power which I so feared: The power that I am whole; The power that there is nothing without me; That there is nothing to lust after; That there is no knowledge to covet; That there is no power. I played these games as a human being in a human world And I played them out of fear – Fear of my own power in wholeness. In this sense, I knew all along that I was divine; Furthermore, that I was all, and no else and no other: That I was in fact, the Cosmic Self, And not this ‘small I’, with the name and title among worldly things, worldly times, worldly affairs. That I had bought into a boxed ‘truth’. To put this divine order into practice is simple – That it is my nature. Now, I understand: That to lust is to chase after an illusion. That to covet knowledge is to chase after an illusion. That to seek to maintain and acquire power is to chase after an illusion. I am self contained; as such, I am still And yet, I experience, even as a mirage, This world that I am and is me. It is one thing to know this intellectually; It is another thing to apply this knowledge directly And to live the life of the Cosmic Self. It is a life that is entirely ordinary, And yet, there is no context for it.

There is no rule of law here, But, rather, the Oneness which is its own dictate. What are my ethics in this place? How do I live, work, sleep, and order this incarnate life? This is my question in each moment, with each gesture As a practice of feeling into the lived reality of Oneness. As such, each being is myself, each plant is myself, each moment is myself – enfleshed, witnessing, seeing myself through itself. I am always my own. In this way, all situations and conditions arise and fall and yet I am still; I am centered in this knowledge. There is, rather, no path But a journey of the realization as to the self which is here, now, infinitely. And that even as I appear to change form, leave here, go to and fro – this way and that, I am eternally still and centered in this moment. From this place, my ethics emerge – as in actions and behaviors which reflect the truth of Oneness in the still reflecting pool of the mind – clear and undisturbed – And even as this movement or that throws a pebble or stirs the current or sand in the basin of the mind – I am centered and re-centered in my remembrance of the truth of Oneness; Living from this dictate my life is whole and my actions are whole. My ethics, in this sense, are not systematized. They cannot be taught, nor circumscribed, nor prescribed like a medicine. They are at once entirely personal; entirely situational And entirely impersonal and entirely metaphysical. Within each situation is reflected the essence of Oneness, Just as within Oneness is reflected the prism of each situation. Each moment has a thousand faces; within each face there is the essence of the mask – Or that the whole is resident within even the appearance of the part. This is the god within the human nature.

So I say, then, That there is no path; There is no wisdom but the wisdom that is put into practice in light of one’s own unique realization of the Oneself. This is a lived truth; it can be writ in no book and given no language but as the surrender: The willingness of this incarnate form to give way, to open, Like the blossom of a flower To reveal its essence, its immortal seed: The seed which it then comes to know as the seed resident within all things; Furthermore, the very source and flowing essence of life itself. This is how we come into relation with the nectar: That it is present even within the poison, Even within the moments where it appears the bow is broken; The storm is tall And the ship is certainly overwhelmed. For the ship has never been but one with the ocean; That the storm comes is the revelation of remembrance. To allow oneself to be overwhelmed is to have the Oneself revealed: To be overcome by the torrent and force and current of the waters of life; Thus to come to know Oneself as life itself, Not just a name, a title, a word, a definition. In this sense, the true world is an infinite expanse; The true form is Nature; which asks of us right relationship: Right relationship with that which we truly are. In this sense, all relationship begins from within. From within our very Nature as Oneself – The very way in which we see ourselves reflected within the Infinite. It is one step to observe the Infinite; to take notes on the discourses of Nature – To hear the work of Nature and to hear Nature at work within the very vessel of ourselves. It is another step to integrate this knowledge, this wisdom: To become Nature ourselves in practice.

For there is the free will: The free will which says, ‘be how you will’. Man has a choice. He may exploit his Nature and himself. He may become his very Nature, And thus know himself. Sometimes, it is hard to know the difference – To which I say: You will know. You will feel the difference between exploitation and Nature. It will be present to you; the task is to learn to listen; To truly listen to Nature within you. It is Nature itself which will tell you the truth. No man can say this, no system can say this, no manifestation can tell of it. For it is within all of them. The ones who have realized it are silent, or otherwise write poems, Or say the same things over and over again. The Nature within you is simultaneously unique and utterly singular; It is the paradox which some call the soul, But for our purposes here, we will simply call it Nature. In this way, you can see that there is no difference between what you observe at the very depths of your psyche And in the furthest reaches of the cosmos. Here and there, Nature is the same. Even in the most distorted and forgetful acts of man, Nature is present, even as a seed or a speck, an essence which is forgotten And yet is the very foundation of man’s construction of himself, his world, his fear, his troubles. To come to know exploitation is to come to know the world; To come to know the world is to come to know the suffering of forgetting – Or the ways in which exploitation is mistaken for love, Or that the world is mistaken for truth. There is a sage, Shankara, who says that Brahman is real, The universe is unreal;

Brahman is the universe. Brahman is the Self. The universe is only unreal in that it appears to be the universe, Or that it appears to stand apart and unique or away from Brahman; That it asserts its own objectivity, its own individuality, its own self. This, too, is a way to describe the man who has forgotten. This man observes the universe as an entity distinct from Brahman, Distinct from the everpresent seed of the Self. That man forgets is that he suffers; That man forgets is that he draws up a code of ethics, A world, From which he hopes that the fabric of his ‘reality’ will remain. Here, ‘reality’ is a construct, an imagined plan, A civilization, a city center – Which is dependent on the mutual agreement of men, All of whom are deluded in their own ways. They come together and labor together in a society, In a culture, In a fabric, Woven with the very thread of Brahman – The thread which runs through all things. The buildings are Brahman The men are Brahman The camels are Brahman The wheels are Brahman; Woven with a thread so fine that it appears to be altogether nonexistent Or else obscured from view by way of the perception of the product, the ‘thing’. The seer is the one who sees through this vision of the world; Piercing the essence And thus, the essence itself becomes the world. From this place, conduct becomes clear. How can I approach a man who is myself and mistreat him?

Lie to him, deceive him, steal from him? Seek to gain the upper hand against him? How can I approach a woman who is myself and cheat her? Desire her for her beauty and forget her? How can I, with this knowledge, Bear to use myself? And this is the question which is with the enlightenment; This is the question which perhaps is the very difficulty of it. That we now know and we must implement knowledge, Knowledge so proven so true with insight and experience That it calls us to change. I wake up and am angry at the bird outside my window, Chirping loudly in the morning. How can I bear to be angry at myself? I witness the suffering of my fellow men The confusion, the desire for power, the lust, the temptations of greed And I see it in myself. Am I to turn away from myself? Scorn myself? Laugh away my own pain? And it is this: that there is, at last, no difference between me and the world. That I am manifest in the greatest act of violence And the calmest act of peace. As such, I am the very paradox of war and silence. That I am manifest in the woman and the man And as such, I am the very paradox of man and woman. I am the morning and the night, The dew on the grass which is the interloper Between the sun and the moon Between birth and death Between the rising and falling of the breath. Therein lies the great question: What am I to do, knowing now that I am all things? And the answer is, of course, nothing at all. In the moment, the situation arises; In the moment, the situation falls. Right action and right thought emerge directly from right knowledge – The knowledge of Oneself as infinite, impersonal;

Direct, immanent, and deeply personal. Therein, One sees clearly like gazing into a still pool of clear water: Observing the reflection of Oneself In the appearance of the Becoming. This is the essence of Being – the witness that is unmoved By the perception of all events, all things As it is that which is that very is-ness within them, The very Self that compels them; The very chase upon which they remark to and fro About the garden of my face, The face of Being – Which shifts as to accommodate the inner motivation. If one’s motivation is to become enlightened to me, I reveal myself to him. The process itself is very simple; In fact, It is nonexistent. The knowledge of myself is immediate; It is always within; directly beneath and even that very material which composes the life of the dream. One must develop the skill of discerning listening to hear my voice: The very voice which is the weaving of the song of Being and Becoming. For there is One who sings it; One who sings it in a voice which is the impelling movement of all things. Otherwise, the world is a siren song; life is brief. If we do not know the singer of the song, We do not know that it is we who are singing it. Who then could change the tune? It appears as thought the melody proceeds without us; That we are dragged from within in all directions; Tossed about like a buoy in a storm. That very storm is us; The buoy we toss is the flashpoint of our lives, The flashpoint which begs to be overwhelmed by our true essence, Nature So that we may truly learn to live.

We at once beg for this and are in fear of it: For it is everpresent like Death And many call it just that – Death. But there is no death, only the revelation of what is, Was, and forever will be. Being is all three of these things: The birth, the life, and the death. They appear as a cycle, like seasons, like an infinite chorus; Turn over and over upon themselves like a sphere, a globe, a planet. The Becoming is in orbit, Like the turning over of a coin in the hand of Being Within the mind. But when the mind is still, quiet, We realize the essence: The place at which the furthestmost and the inmost meet and touch – The most unexpected place – The seed of the Self. It is as if time and space have folded over Like a piece of paper Revealing the grain of straw From which it was sewn. In this way, the my-self combusts, like a star: Shewing shattered grains of itself in all directions. In the revelation of the Self, it becomes clear – That the very essence of the mirror emerges In the grain of sand From which it breaks: Like a dawn, Like a new day.

Life trawls the deep of its own water Like a great blind fish. It feels – it feels its desire from within And skims the ocean floor. At any altitude It meets itself, by the touch of the skin It knows itself to be true.

You who now know that the world is false That you have traveled far and gone nowhere That your treasures are mere gravesites That your insides are an indivisible nothing That the self is miraculously whole And yet utterly empty That you have stared into the maw The jaws of the great beast which you have once so feared The great beast named death And saw only yourself Reflected back in the pool called nothing In the waters of nothing Which achieve their quality in a shimmering which appears to take on weight, shape, name, and form The waters, their density The bodies, their density The faces, their contortion The ballet of forms and the play of dreams Crossing roads with one another And at the touch the dream is realized And in the distance the dream is de-realized That the coming together and growing apart is itself a philosophical apotheosis Have you not now become so tired of talking of nothing? Have the empty words now built up nothing more than an empire of confusion? It is as though you are flinging chairs upon the pyre of your mind. The centre is unchanging; it only appears to you that it is spiralling out of control Getting wider, gaining more force Flying through space around a radiating sun. The self is the furthestmost point deeper than the sun It swallows the sun like an apple, or a grape On a crisp, cool morning. The gaping dark is a radiant pit of bright heat Can you imagine the black light which illuminates your face? Nor can you see your face as it twitches in response to the bright dawn

Which shakes you awake to the sounds of copulation The sex which splits the air with pure noise A ceaseless roaring, a broad silence A name spoken so many times it has lost meaning. Can you not grasp the root of life? The vine attached to the pit of the fruit Dangled over the cratered abyss By an ancient tree. Trace the vines in your hand down through your sternum The cross of your breast and into the soil of death The pure world soul So rich with your stripped bodies That you tossed off like clothes in the sun To dip into the river Naked Forgetting mankind forever. Do you have some distant memory of what it was like to be me? So bold and young So certain of divinity And yet so perilously unwise. The precipice then, held some danger Like death was a toy And now I know death to be only an old friend The truest friend which I have held all along In the unfathomable embrace of the flesh You, calling, loud but faint in some dream of the mind You, come calling across green fields and the joy You, come calling again This time, a black dog at my door.

With sight, insight is given. With hearing, the inner ear is given. With touch, the touch of spirit is given. With taste, the sensation of the body is given. With smell, the scent of the divine is given.

With insight, one is able to see into the true nature – by way of the mind’s eye. With the inner ear, one is able to listen to the voice of wisdom - as she emerges from the depths of the self. With the touch of spirit, one is able to grasp that he is in relationship – like Job and like Shiva – with the lover who is spiritude. With the sensation of the body, one is able to sense that the body is a vessel for the one who is sensing. With this knowledge, comes a deepening of the question. With the scent of the divine, one achieves aesthetic judgement and discernment. The divine draws one ever near to itself. The fruit of the divine contains the aesthetic quality which one desires: one desires toward the divine itself.

The taboo is that which lies beyond the limit Of everything that you will not allow And in this sense The taboo is the erotic. It is the knowledge that The breaking the spell of the everyday Is true freedom. In the privacy of our homes, We play at the truth of our violent sexual desires. In the publicity of our war, We play at the truth of our violent sexual desires. And all the while, They are not expressed - For as they are taboo, They are violations. Our sexualities are orders of the impossible Dreams which even in this life would not suffice But to settle for the possibility of impossible situations The slivers of them in the play-action of our worlds. As such, the taboo is discreet And unfulfilled by in the reaching of desire And this is precisely its effect upon us Consumptive, the step further Into the shattering of every foundation and social more. The taboo calls from the abyss of the unfulfilled image: ‘Come, destroy this world; Rend it from the hourglass; Return life to itself In the impossible kiss Of death’ And so the sex is relegated To the romantic encounters and fading hours. Nothing that is possible is taboo. It is only the impossible that is taboo - That which one knows is not is desired foremost; In this way the world is born from dreams. Men create this world from their greatest withouts, Their visions which fall so far from the ground And rise like vapors From a summer heat and rain.

They have learned: The war will not suffice The lover will not suffice And not even death is dangerous enough. They search for a further precipice from which to fling their minds: From the balconies of incest From the towers of the bestial From the gravestones of the dead. One cannot find god to fuck And so one suffices with the image of god Or the most derelict thing, Called ‘Beauty’.

THE TENETS OF THE BUDDHA

The tenets of the buddha and the systems emergent from them Were only what was necessary for his self realization In that lifetime And at that time in space. This is to say - that the tenets of the buddha are entirely subjective And as such emerged from his individual practice as in a trial and error A learning which eventually evoked In his constancy, focus, dedication, and discipline A specific type of self revelation Which is his eye aligned with the Divine I And as such, came about in such a way as to liberate his soul In the interlocution with the Divine As in a primary self expression. In this way, no man can follow the buddha Just as no man can follow Christ But rather, that the soul’s dictates are primary and self emergent And that in the following of the soul’s dictates The Oneness within them ineffably emerges And as such, an understanding, innately, without systematizing, Of the values, virtues, and ethical desires of the Divine Incarnate in this lifetime As in the soul’s missives and wishes for itself Too, ineffably emerge. This is the core directive of the soul in this lifetime; In this sense, we understand enlightenment to be entirely subjective - But with this at root: The alignment of the eye with the Divine I Which allows for clear vision and clear sight Penetrative discernment into the times and languages Which structure and stricture this modern reality. In this sense, the taboo is liberated;

It is liberated with the discernment which penetrates beyond the social and cultural Into the primordial essence which births the soul; That which the soul ineffably is. This discernment is that which allows With the great courage of the soul Not only for self realization But the joyous remark of the soul In this life on earth.

Suffering is our guide In the blindness of the relation Between the will and the one The life force and the power of God – Suffering says: ‘Go this way, toward this, away from that’ And thus orients the self toward the Self At the level of the psyche. When there is suffering There is the remembrance of being whole And the remembrance of the first forgetting: The dismemberment of the mind Into this piece, into this sphere of representation – Which takes form as hand, as man, as will of God manifest. And thus it strives toward life; Life is only true in the clear light and vision of Nature. Man is called to behave as Nature To think and act as Nature To ape her so thoroughly that he is returned to her bosom Receded back into her womb so entirely that he remembers That he is not born from her, Nor will he ever die. He is, himself, the life force, and the cycles of life which proceed In inward and outward measures of space and time: From the cell, to the organs, to the beings, to the planets, to the galaxies All of which perform this One Divine Function – Existence, Life, Transformation, Rebirth And the I Am That which informs them; Compels them The four godheads which proceed from the breast, chest, and mouth of Creation Like words, like language, like horses Which draw the world into view, Like a picture, like a painting, like a vision. To see clearly is thus: to observe the rising and falling of the sand To observe the rising and falling of the breath And apply this Natural Logic to the life of man:

To take it on as one’s own essence Beneath the guise of name and number Form and function Into and as Oneself: The metaphysical formula Which unites heaven and earth alike. When one suffers, It is a call onward, homeward bound The body calling out to the memory of unity The membrane which for this brief moment dreams A coming apart The birth of life with eyes that remark upon The witness Herself, The womb Herself And thus describe her from within. That never leaving is a signature Which unites all men in their dreaming. The diversity of dreams is the fractal through which The vision of God is whole. Each man is an eye of God Each bird, bastion, tree, and sign Each reveals its innate mystery Beneath the web of confusion. It is the will to power, or the will to life Which emerges from it, and justifies every way Every name and every time Every method and every syllable Uttered from the mouth of the man-god, the cow-god, the horse-god, the flower-god And the nectar which pulses through each of them to Infinity The Tantric Thread which revels in each moment as in a pulsing The breath which men call silence The A-U-M which is the three heads: Of Creation, Maintenance, and Destruction. The witness, through the eyes of lifetimes, comes to know the play. He sniffs out God like the scent of a wildflower He carries out the will of God like a dungbeetle

He sows the seed of the Infinite within him, inside him And it is revelated to him, as Him. What secret, sacred sign is apart from his Nature, What cobwebbed library or book is not already scrawled across his face and chest? The message of the Divine is intercoursed even here and now, Upon the intersection of this text Like a cross, a siren, a sign, an insignia, a slogan, a speech, a same, a name, a line, a rhyme, a call – Breaching the waters of consciousness like a great whale Making itself known like a tyranny of fashion And this word shall become world Even if for a day And it shall be the will upon which great pyres are built And bodies are stripped and laid to rest And the mad striving of civilization will climb and climb Like a skyscraper toward paradise… Or so it may seem. The gladness which comes after the nightfall of the world The pitch In which the last statue and the last stone have been laid to rest By the cold wind, by the Shaiva hand By the Aghori gurus who smear blood on the faces of the dead The last remaining Templo Mayor – The last remaining mysticism of sacrifice In which the bloodletting reveals The ancient chambers of God Woven in the flesh of the body Where the life force is stored and beats back for Source Calls out for Ma, Great Mother Goddess From which all godheads emerge Even the gods of fire beg for her reunion Her nightfall in which all shapes of the moon coalesce In the orgiatic bliss of eclipse: The Tantra fires burning; The young men initiated into the mysteries By way of the flesh.

The great suffering: the orgasm The moment at which pleasure and pain unite Fear and lust entwine And become the guides into the centre At which the two become indistinguishably One. Man must remember himself; He goes at the everyday with a hammer and nail. He is both the hammer and the nail The shroud and the face The mystique and the essence: That which lies beneath the abyss of the face. In his remembrance he is like Job to God: He witnesses what God cannot; This is the nature of being God’s eyes, Or the being within the Being, like a Russian doll Which looks up upon the firmament and crest of stars – And observes the constellation of his organs, his brow, His psychic nature. Within man lies God’s troubles; He sorts them out through man like this: The institution of the paradox of the spirit and the flesh; The sport of trial and resolution; The sport of the ecstasy of reunion and the agony of separation. In this sense, man orbits the source of himself And in brief moments of fire remarks upon himself as the Cosmic Whole – In visions of fire which threat to rend him in two, Or in the particles of Osiris and Dionysus – The particular limbs which are spread all about the world: The peninsulas, the tundras, the arctic fish, the palms: His hands, his arms, his knees, his legs: And man goes about, deranged, madhouse men To recollect his body, the body of the Cosmic Christ. Some men eat salmon, others, the fruit of the palm, others, dates, summer peaches, lavash: To reconstitute that which was lost. To sit in prayer and recall the silence of God. To see the truth in the rites of man is this:

To see in each moment that he calls and is called from the depths of his soul To return his will to the will of God. In this sense, man has no troubles – But that he does not see properly. His vision is too literal, taking the things of this world at face value. He sees the mask And takes the mask to be the face But God has a thousand faces And for each face, Ten thousand masks. We must find another way to be discerning. The will of God extends like the tendrils of a world tree: Manifest everywhere and in all things And yet each root draws from the one source of life And yet each branch and fruit of the soul performs a specific function: A limb, a nerve, a sense, a speech, a letter, a vowel, a song, a sign Wherein the great body of God consumes itself like a snake eating its own tail. Each soul is called to make its great speech of life, And to return to the soil, Enriching the flesh of the earth By way of experience and time. How can we know from without, or have a true vision If we take this world to be anything but ourselves? Take away time – The body rises and falls from the earth like a rhythm. What then, is its true name, but earth; What then, is earth’s true name, but cosmos; What then, is cosmos’ true name but the essence of earth – Creation, the transformative principle? So take my name, Transformation: Take my great paradox and do what you will with it: Knowing it to be God and no different than you, or you Knowing that you are within the chambers of a vast pyramid A vast play

In which the audience is all yourselves; In which the act is simultaneously already written and yet gloriously open – To go on and Create with the true knowledge that you are the Great Mother Goddess herself, Manifest as a vein in the hand A bird in the brush, A gesture of paint which covers the lung walls of the Divine And becomes nourishment for all time. Time and space are gutted Like imaginary fish Left on the deck of the boat which has become one with the sea. The face has disintegrated, gone with the memory of belief. Who now shall I call Reason? Who now shall I call Truth? Who now shall I face, to tell me the meaning of God? They fight over rhymes and the names of masks The playthings of gods like children. The gods own them and the gods evaporate like mists The souls like raindrops sudden and brief to this world Called up by the creative friction and dissolved back into the Infinite From the ocean of imagination. When souls swim among souls, Each looks to the other for assurance; Each looks to the other for proof of existence And yet the drops of water are indistinguishable. Who are you to call out to me and ask, ‘Am I alive? Where is the proof? Where is the evidence?’ The depth of knowledge of the soul is an abyss behind the mask of creation Of radiant force Of thrust and pull which calls everything back into its naming. Creation: all names, all reasons, all time, all sense And the nothing beneath them. Can you grasp history? Can you grasp the lover? Can you grasp mankind?

Brief as a glimpse: All memories are. To recall them one might flinch – As if to be hit with the fist of the sensation Which even then was all too real. And still, it lingers like a ghost Haunting the halls of Being Up and down the halls. Beneath these ghosts we see the energy: The energy which keeps them tethered between forms: The pure emotion which seeks to be free Of this paradox of the spirit and the flesh. They still appear in the mind’s eye; They still appear in the halls And yet they are not entirely of this earth. This is no mistake; This is the nature of mankind. He who sees this life on earth as too real More than a play of the soul A play of learning Becomes bound in his imagination To the images which enthrall him. He is the ghost which haunts the halls of time: Desperate for an exit from the prison of his mind. Who can say what suffering is? Suffering is mankind. It is the struggle to birth of flowers, trees, animals, the sky – Which strain against the weight of forces Much bigger than you or I. It is in this sense that the eyes of God Weigh what is up above And feel what is below And sense what is enough To leverage against heaven – A heart lighter than a feather. Placed upon the scales of Osiris Or answered by Oedipus, clever. The riddle is quite simple Once the rest is stripped away Beneath the dreams and desires of man

What is it that comes out to play? His true Nature Beneath conjecture and design The whole That which awaits him After space And after time.

Seeing and loving always go together. Seeing and loving are one. Shallow understanding accompanies shallow compassion. Great understanding goes with great compassion.

Thich Nhat Hanh
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The cycle of the cosmic dream Turns to the nights of stone Like beggars and kings in dreams we roam In to the nights of stone Upon the grave of the day A lone watchman sits Guarding the gates of the law The psychic towers which flutter and shake Like flags in thunder and rainfall Who will enter the paradise of dreams And emerge unscathed? All will pass through the tower of dreams – The winding, ascending maze. Atop the tower Daedalus sits Minding the winding Rhine With stones stacked carefully atop the spires Minding the winding Time. He sits, with telescopic eye And emerges the stars’ delight Round and wound they dance and bend Unto a starry night. The dream suggests a lover A secret bestowed within A rock, a stone, a play, a ballad A life sung on a cosmic whim The soul cast down like Lucifer Into the realms of bending light Mistaken for separate creatures, separate journeys, Separate night For the I is the kaleidoscopic function In the play of the gods’ delight The fury of Achilles; The Herculean might The craft of Arachne wound about the Fated Hips The blushing bride Persephone; the truth from Penelope’s lips. Like a wedding in hell The dream is shrouded by a shade of night A perilous encounter Like a rosebud

Which pricks the inner sight To awaken from the dream Is to wake again into daylight And to fumble about with the switch The conviction of the right. The dream of the day is no more or less than the dream of night The vision of my lover, shade and shadow A spectre taking flight. The vision of my dreamless dream – the soul coming into light From the dark of soil and shadow From the deathless, birthless night. In a dream I saw her calling And yet not from without – Rather from below, beneath, within me As young as she once was When I met her in the light. Who is to say the truth of love, truth of world, or any of these things: Proven mere refractions In the sense’s inner rings. I have touched, I have tasted, I have seen, and I have heard And yet I am as blind and screeching As a newborn baby bird. To fly is to touch the inner sense; To prove a sacred truth Hid within the sacral Hid within the root. For if I have returned From my vision of the night I have embodied it: Neck and legs and eyes. My dark eyes see within Into dreams both dark and light Into dreams within, without Into dreams both wrong and right. The path that has been laid Is a path of the knowing soul To make express what lies within

To make express the down below. For within the well of the mind Where the without is observed within Lies the stone, lies the seed Of the truth within. To reach into the waters Is to face the greatest fear To reach into the waters Is to risk that which one holds most dear. It is the image of the self, of the soul, of the name That holds the prisoner captive That marks the watery grave. The image is the death; beneath it absconds The true face of the soul Like the lady of the lake Like the lotus of the pond. For within the water itself A whole of consciousness unites. To touch the mirror is to touch the water; To enter into the psychic night. The eyes that see without Allude to the eyes that see within. The lover I have known without Is always the lover within. For the eyes that hold no sight Are the truest eyes I have known – The eyes that see the truth in darkness See darkness and darkness alone. The vision of Kali Is the Shaiva night The borders and bounds disillused An absconded worldly rite. Who can hold this state – this black center in the fiery lake? The one who has given up hold and hope: The one with no life at stake. The one through life flows freely: The one who ceases to exist – The truth of one is none; The truth of one is ecstatic bliss. He knows the dream to be a dream

From without and from within; Forever where he turns is black and night Where he turns is forever Him. The sacred I, the sacral I: The tunnel within the dream The mole which bores a black hole Within the seen and the unseen. That which is seen, indeed a scene In the spectacle of delight: The bliss which flashes sparks Like a crackling pyre in the desert night. Within it burns the body The horror and the show: The terror which consumes the one Who is still two And thus, fears to go. The two is the created self: The image of the world The woven fabric of the mind – Knotted and infernal. The knot is like a coagulation, a mass, a body, a projection: Within the self it is oneself – this is without exception. It is the image of the mind Projected as a truth That is the prisoner, the gavel, the judge, the jury The hammer and the noose. For the image of the self Is the paradox of being alive: That life courses through the body And throws off sparks of the divine. It is the source energy: the sex of the divine – That runs through the body Convicted of itself Convicted of a life. To mistake the body Or the image of the self Is to mistake life for the art – To mistake the chair for itself. There is no true name to be spoken There is no true word

There is no true reason Beyond the absurd. It is this: that life is all things; That all things are life – That all things are the image, the projection Of the source that is the night. For if one looks deep within The deepest black of night Is that which composes the worn fabric: The fabric of the mind.

There is nothing more or less than God The hand of God is in all things The snare that takes the sheep The sacrifice of Isaac at the hands of Abraham The lion’s feast The cheetah’s bloody mouth The genocide The pyramid The herd of men around the banquet table In a dark winter’s night. I, come to terms with the hand of God I, surrender to the hand of God Knowing that I am the hand of God Carrying out the work of God In a divine order In a divine orchestration In a divine missive Where I am the actor The mouth The word. I am being spoken Even here and now And what am I to do? I am crafted, sculpted, by the hands of the Creator. I am his David I am his shepherd, his goat herd, his pathway That I walk – this path that is given to me This path that is mine. This life that is at once mine and not mine – A story and a dream. A tale that is being told through me A vessel which speaks A consciousness which observes A witness who sees The creation unfolding. Where am I to seek, knowing that I desire love That I desire companionship To seek beyond the hands of God? The hands that are eyes The hands that are my own eyes

Staring out from the vision which beholds itself An empyrean Which I hallucinate Which I envision Which I create? I have it all and yet I have nothing, I am the beggar-king Who dons the rags and steps outside the castle walls of heaven To walk about his fellow man To observe To witness their suffering To experience suffering myself And thus to truly know it, understand it, By way of experience. My life? It has not yet been seen I am seen from without with half eyes Heard with half ears Touched with wandering hands And spoken to in broken language The bits and pieces, the ashes, the shattered fragments And broken glass of this world do not consume me Nor do they come close to describing my immortal nature Hand of God, O hands of God Draw near my bedside Know that I am eternally whole. Know that I am Creation. I am not writ, and yet I write These lines which stand between me and Time Like a witness, like a spectator Looking down upon the sport of my career These figures and poems These livelihoods and days Drawn out like numbers, tithes, bonds, and law. The everyday draws so close to my side that I forget And fall into despair like a pothole Or a beartrap. The bear of my soul A spirit of wide claws Gaping at the abyss

And the breath from my snout Warm smoke against the river stream The raw nature of my mouth The raw nature of my speech Something most animal about me That is the cord The tether of the spirit to this body Through which it speaks Through which the hand sweeps, Veins and pulsing blood Channels and pulsing river And the calling of the blood And the calling of the water Nearer to me. For whom shall I call lover? Will her words provide me cover, shelter from the storm Suspension from this mad gravity? Through which my feet touch cold earth Paved city islands Streetlamp whispers, sirens, the cover of business Storefronts, drunks, and highways to a thousand other cities? Will we do this same dance forever? I will ask her in a dream And she will look at me and smile And the silence will be beyond the wind, or the water, or the soil But a deeper silence of a lack Of a tugging, a pulling back of the navel A retraction beyond the time of the dead time of the womb Picking at the walls of the mind The cavern where I painted everything And watched the nightfall over the plains And the fire, and the wilderness And the madness of love The black womb of the atom bomb Or the condensation of the entirety of history In this very moment of consciousness Like a thunderclap Which is a lapse of myself –

The end of that which I knew The end of that which is true The end of the dream of myself And the unfolding of something much greater, wider The unspooling of my genetic material The unspooling of the seed of my soul Gnawing at the bark and roots The beetle of my eyes and teeth and throat The blind beetle of my eyes Beneath the world tree Looking up into a murder of stars Perched like crows atop the branches which stretch their arms Like threatening angels Called back to heaven There are no wars here And I face myself in the masks of all of you Crucifixions Jealousy, nights of longing Stays with you, lovers taking different forms but whispering the same thing Stay with me forever Stay with me, be safe Stay with me, return And the ship of my longing is without port The ship of Desire is doomed to infinite seas And yet everywhere I turn is landedness: Run aground the ice of the heart. The mountain of the senses, I have become it: The booming heartbeat which is everywhere Resounds everywhere The flayed body of the Saint Bartholomew The turned inside out of the flesh of the world To reveal the sole organ The beating, boiling, stirring, pumping, jumping, breathing heart of the mass So that the mass is no longer there And is replaced by the churning cauldron of blood In which the inmixture is the liplocked humanity

The ingested meat The ingested sunlight The ingested rain The ingested air And the cyclical nature of the smoke of the spirit Which is in endless redistribution In the glass of the world soul. How can I avoid this great illusion? I can avoid nothing. I am enraptured by myself; enveloped in great periods of forgetting Where I love you, or am spun around my guitar The roots of my arms The roots of the strings The roots of my sex The roots of your mouth And the embrace which goes beyond space and time Into a gaping wherein your mouth is indistinguishable From the black of the night In which we struggle In the face of a lone window Striking against the highway And the coming moon The highway which winds forever Over the hills and desert plains Like a snake Like an embrace Through which the energy pumps A pipeline, a gas tank A respirator A lung A throat A windpipe A flute An instrument A body An aqueduct And the invisible skin which is endlessly shed The invisible sin which is endlessly bled From the body into the container of the dead

The soil into which I am dissolved The air into which my breath escapes The fire into which my spirit elates The water into which my consciousness dissipates What is left of me when I am torn apart? Rent and hung on the axis of the infinite The cosmic cross Upon which my body is stretched east and west, north and south Salvaged for parts And made love to by God Disintegrated? This disintegration is integration. Nowhere to turn but this? I look around at you, and you And I see no compatriot but the God within you So disavowed, veiled in metaphor Feared God Blood sacrifice God Lover God Genocide God Stone God Temple God Sole God God that is Death. This everyday is the wake of me It is the trampling of the soul It is the dimestore of logic It is the rote friction The grain of rice The pile of bodies And the price of it all. In the face of it The exiles and the poets and Goya – I think of Goya, the paintings on the wall. Where will he have gone? Where will he have fled to? What small container of this life is consigned to Spain? What small container of this life is consigned to the treatise of this world, the binding contracts, the debts, the shining glass of wine

Set neatly upon the dressed table of affairs The indignity of wealth And the drudgery of a pack mule empire The steam engine of the world Every man an Atlas Every stone a weapon Every Goliath a ghost What comes of the dervish who has danced to the end of love To the end of time, to the end of faith, to the end of fate To the end of the line Like a conductor who must find a bed to sleep In a town at the edge of a great forest Or else charmed by Pan Into a deeper night than this Where sleep is forgotten Where Nature is remembered Where the soul absconds, never to return? Into the forest I will go, again Or is it for the first time? I have memories which are not mine I have memories which are mine I have memories of the world I have memories of the world within me Memories that are yours Memories that the world has forgotten As if in a dream Or the memory of an arm, a leg, A phantom arm A lost hand. I have memories of a time in which I was clarified Like butter in a pan I have memories which are not of the past, nor the future. What is meant by meditation? In my deepest clarity I am not here. I am called onward to a place which cannot be described as either here nor there Past nor present, present nor future And the world is like a carnival, a circus

And my lust eats itself like a cannibal. The last of the human flesh is absorbed and forgotten And at last the soul speaks: Without biology, without culture Exhausted and yet the mouth remains: The whole world swallowed in a massive sacrament The extinction which is the revelation of the word – The revelation which is the emergence of Christ And the end of all things. Where is the ground here? Where is here? How could there be ground? The Christ, the last figure in the face of the abyss: The remembrance of everything All past, all present, all future All bodies remembered to this one body It is the ground where there is no ground – Goodbye mountain, Swallowed and nameless The great throat Which is the suspension Anticipating the word Anticipating the world Anticipating the second coming of Christ Anticipating the second nature The new reason The new sense The perfection of existence The clarity of the present The enlightenment The revelation of Nature The laundry list of gods, Athena at the drycleaners, Zeus at the grocer And Hermes at the newsstand You in my heart The whole world, my Persephone My lover who is only half here Half present So that I might fall asleep and dream of you and remember you whole

Remember you better, greater, nearer Than you have ever been to me Than you have ever been in this foggy dream of the world Shrouded in your own soul Veiled in your own nature Trapped in your own mouth Caught in silence like a snare Beating against your chest, animal Beating against your heart, traitor Beating against the noise of the world which threatens to overwhelm your mouth Envelop your senses And swallow you whole in the tides of longing Which pull you in all directions Tearing at your limbs Gyroscope of desire The beast of my love inches forth Hand over hand Ages from walking on two feet Ages from language Ages from speech Born without a mouth Born without eyes Born a sex organ And not even knowing of my own futility Not even desperate to understand Not even a thought Not even a mind But a raw nerve A sense. What letter would reach you? Speaking an impossible language Wrote from purgatory To one agonizing over hell Like an impossible decision. In suspension, this impossibility of dialogue Of how to love when you are love And exhausted of all things And yet desperate to be embraced by God in real life To be held by the physical form

A hand in mine before the gates of hell A hand in mine before the abandoned hope. The scales are at once horizontal and vertical. They ascend and descend And balance the weights. The vertical scale is a sound The horizontal scale is a measure. The axis of the soul is a rising and falling The axis of the world is an emergence The mouth from which the beast of my soul takes light Rubbing its eyes and babbling And has these hands, these eyes, these arms And is seen by you as a figure or an entity. The angel within is like a bucket in a well: It descends and retrieves the wellwater from the consciousness of the world And ascends and returns the consciousness of the world, through purgatory To the pure light of spirit. The work of the angel is the work of translation. The angel is me The body is what you see. The heart and the feather of equal measure Is the angel’s work in the world The giving to the world The life handed back to itself so that the world and the life don’t even exist But that life is life itself And there is no word to describe this Which is not redundant Or else a repetition which renders language its true form: The vertical scale of sound in which the meaninglessness of meaning is revealed; The true nature of the speech is clarified in mantra. The mantra is the resound Of the Creation echoing within itself The womb which remains still And yet there is an Orpheus Which is recalling the name of God

A Michelangelo who is at work in the Sistine Chapel of the walls of the womb Which pulse like lungs Expand like lungs And explode like stars In greater measure And yet remain perfectly still In the original paradox Of God A Michelangelo of the spirit who paints and sculpts these cities These men And is so convincing in his depiction of them that they are convinced of themselves And view themselves from within as entities And view themselves from within as the characters whom the angels are acting out In a play of Becoming which never ceases In a play of Becoming which has never begun In a play of Becoming in which Euripedes has an act The homeless a set Stalin a soliloquy Stones a starring role Where the eyes of cats direct The streetwise dialogue, slanging Millions of offices And a few spare mountaintops? Trees on fire, breathing in their smoke Someone whispering, I need you People playing with their cell phones An ocelot before a lake The dreams of husbands and wives The promises made to children Water lapping against a stone A tenement radiator The iron core of the earth I will give you another name I will have but I have forgotten it And the language would twist grotesque Like a grim smile

Or scrap metal Wrangled For so long. Meet me on an isle, not far from here At eight o’clock So we can make love forever, and forget this whole sad affair. I’ll write to you before I know you So we can make this easier when we do meet And spare the loose change conversation And all the wishes that I have and you have The dreams of life And the desire for belonging – So weary am I A great, deep sleep Longer than death, greater than death More massive and permanent – is what I need Like a prescription writ by the God of gods, The conductor himself And as such, he is big enough to write a command larger than death Or the toil of binaries, oppositions, and the polarization of this earth plane. Man goes back and forth like the pendulum on a grandfather clock; If you like, this is how you can tell time. This is how you’ll know when to meet me. Please don’t forget… I’ll be there at eight o’clock.

Anything that I could say would be untrue The entire world is an art That we witness And it captivates us Believing it to be true. Everything is a sacrament That hides the face of Christ I take the world into my mouth Like a sex organ And it disappears Leaving the black abyss Of spacelessness Of timelessness I swallow With the great mouth Of an ancient bird Sitting atop a lily pad In a motionless pond Of consciousness Yawn, great abyss That which does not stir The thick primordial jelly which at heart Is thinner than air. The hand of meat Or the jar of cream Or the summer humidity The viscosity of water The slowness of time All allude to the great stillness of nature She who does not move The pregnant woman of the cosmos Who sits atop the throne of pure awareness And watches And witnesses. Her eye is my eye: And that vision Is where I am purchased: Here, sat on the lotus flower of the now Entirely soft Entirely still

And flowing out of my flesh so as that my life is the tendrils of the earth The groundless place where I am the foundation Of living Sat upon the throne of pure awareness Observing the womb of consciousness As it swirls Like a talisman, a crystal ball, a sphere, a world Of witnessing. Within, pictures form like distant memories Lovers appear like distant smoke And I fall in and out of consciousness like a syncope. There, I spin The dervish of the world Enraptured in rapture itself And thus the world is in ceaseless motion In the sphere of consciousness. And thus, the world does not exist But as an inpouring and outpouring of spirit The water received by the bowl of this ancient earth: The world soul which receives the life force energy as it pours Through the beakers and blood vessels of the universe In a heating and cooling In a firing and drying In a watering and steaming Of the lifeblood. There, I change shapes. I become a lion, a bear, a frog A gas, a fluid, a liquid, a solid A man, a woman, a cloud, a sun A world unto myself. I am the sphere of pure imagination And the world rises and falls within my breath As an eternal vision. Seeing through this play, I am the ancient witness, The eye of the pregnant mother goddess The one who is pregnant with our calling: Come down, Prometheus

And bring fire to this world.

An understanding at the level of the psychic Is a great healing. It is a healing of the innate being, the inner nature As an acknowledgement of that which it is In relation to the cosmos, the world, the self - The very seat and root of the self The very nature of the soul. An understanding at the level of the psychic Brings understanding to the corresponding levels Of the physical plane, the mental plane. From the psychic state, Mental and physical conditions manifest themselves; From the psychic state, Mental and physical conditions are revoked As conditional states of consciousness. The psychic state is the seat of the being Or as in pure consciousness in relation to itself: The very spiritude from which this being is manifest, The very spiritude which whispers into the channel of this being - This psychic state. The psychic state is the consciousness which breathes into the instrument Of the mind and of the body And as such is the director of the stage of this play of being This stage of being consciousness, Achieving consciousness of itself. The healing mechanism of understanding at the level of the psychic Is the understanding of the nature of the psychic being in relation to the spheres: The spheres of the spiritual, the mental, the physical And how information manifests through them As channels into ‘being’ As channels of Being In light of itself. This is a healing of the very foundational nature of the being In relation to itself (Spiritude, Consciousness)

Through which the mental and the physical are, too, healing By way of a relationship of command: Which is to say the corresponding relationship of the psychic being with Beingness, itself Is the cosmic relationship of the psychic being with mental and physical states As in the gradual materialization, or appearance, or manifestation Of the psychic being’s relationship with it’s source-essence Which is then manifest in thoughts Which then become physical ‘things’. These ‘things’, of course, Never cease to be anything but Spiritudes But they are informed by and as Psychic being(s) in relationship to that which they are, Spiritude Which then become refracted thoughts In the water of consciousness Which then take on forms As manifestations of the Oneself.

The poems themselves are beings They have a certain way about them, a relation to the inner being; A relation to consciousness As consciousness forms And reveal themselves though their being Their language formation Into the physical As, first, Psychic beings with orientations toward the eternal; With orientations toward the infinite; The very nature of Being Itself. In this way they reveal their dark corners, as well as their understood lights And the poems are cruxes, or crosses, or crossroads Upon which the relation of spirit and matter sits As in a mutual understanding

Or an intercoursing Through which the very nature of spirit, the life force, or the life blood Flows and becomes a face Or finds faces, or masks, or incarnations Through which is corresponding relation to self, to source, To the very essence that which it is Beneath the physical manifestation, beneath the thought form Beneath the seat of the psychic being Into the Spiritude of all things, themselves, Oneself, Itself.

This is the I am consciousness. This is the emergence of healing from the metaphysical within; The source which produces the illusions of manifestation Which are brief energetic formations Which emerge from and are changed by and at The relation between the psychic being and it-self-source. This primary relation Is the movement as in incarnation of Being into being. And the witnessing of being into Being As in a Self realization.

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‘REALPOWER’

It is incumbent upon all men to achieve self actualization; self realization which is the communion with their own innate inner being. It is, historically, the case that very few men and women have ever reached this point in self knowledge and self development – as it requires a coherence and cohesion of several different factors: most namely the desire for true self knowledge beyond that which can be termed ‘the social’, ‘the cultural’, and even ‘the biological’ – the imperatives of the human as in belonging as in survival. For it is true today that there are, increasingly so (due to hyper modernization of life and as such hyper specialization) classes of men who are now beholden very little to their fellow men; as such, observe them with ever clearer eyes; the trappings and perils of modern society – and furthermore, the trappings and perils of human socialization and the complexes which order human relations. Therein, a word emerges: realpower. Similar to the term ‘realpolitik’, realpower is the practical reality of power relations and organization within the human species: power which is, when stripped of the cultural, social, and biological imperatives: solely in the hands of the man and the woman strong enough to strip these imperatives – namely, imperatives which order and dictate the life of ‘the everyday’, or business as usual in the human faction of life and living as a stylized, aesthetic, ritual of existence.

Therein, the self actualization is thus: the spiritual nature of man, the core, the centre of his spirit as in each moment the fulfillment of his purpose in life; the active expression of his soul which requires no fellow man, no code, no reason, no justification, nor does it require the ‘verification’ or ‘proof’ of his fellow man. Such an existence, in this sense, is a form of solitude which is a choice: a communion with himself in the face of a falsity – or a behavioral reality crafted and sculpted around mutual and mass submission to the rote terms and conditions of the human existence or culture at that point in space and time – as in an accepted dictate or

dictates, both the written and unwritten laws which govern the human system of being as a barely disguised animality: which is to say, the very laws and systems which are like a dam perennially being breached by the raw animality which they attempt to cage, order, ‘civilize’: the dam of raw human sexuality without self discipline, self mastery, or self inquiry. This is to say, that the human culture or civilization is a dictate and system of and from without; as such, is predicated upon a fundamental lack of self control: a fundamental lack of self knowledge in and as which a social and religious system of morals, ethics, codes, and laws – which barely hem in the raw animality of man as an unchanneled, undisciplined, even childish form and force of brute energy, force, and power.

The realpower, in this sense, is the acknowledgement of this ‘reality’, cultivation of one’s own self nature and self relation to oneself (both atomic and cosmic), and as such comes into an energetic relationship with Nature itself as the ruling dictate and divine law and order of the cosmos and the psyche; therein, performs the continued and continual work of self excavation as in self uncovering as in self discovering which is a work of realizing one’s own self nature as an expressive practice: utilizing a variety of disciplines and methods for energetic expression and channeling. In this sense, to refer to Camille Paglia’s interview with The Hollywood Reporter, there is a redirection of the sexual energy which is in accord with a disillusionment which is the grappling with the very biological and social imperatives of the organism cultivated and passed down over millenia of survival and brutal conditions as in a genealogy of man, a lineage – a disillusionment which is the strength of the individual as in a turning away from these very dictates which once formerly structured the human survival as in a collectivization hingeing upon the religious, cultural, or political obedience to some tethering mythology or social system or moral or ethical code for the survival of the individual and the group precisely because at and in this juncture of history, one who is strong enough can. And this is the nature of realpower. If one can, one should. The ethical

code of realpower is simple: it is the striving endlessly for the highest ideal, an ideal which rises higher and higher into the realm of metaphysic – an ideal which is simultaneous with God, or as Pascal says in his notebooks, ‘the cultural limit’. And therein, when we are discussing culture in regards to Pascal we are discussing the very limits of language and imagination being breached by the timeless figure and force of Nietzsche’s Ubermensch, or the higher man striving for higher ideals, values, and virtues than have ever been conceived of before. As such, his existence is simultaneously the ascent of the mountain and descent into hell: or that he goes within himself to retrieve the pearl or the philosopher’s stone of his soul; in doing so, ascends and mounts the entirety of human history and civilization as one who is truly individual. Here, we are talking about achieving communion with the soul; the soul which always lives in love; the ethic and morality of love – which of course, oxymoronically, cannot be writ or codified but enacted at the level of the situational or the conditional as that which has always already been writ: the higher path: the path which, often, requires one to become a master of oneself, one’s desires, one’s nature, and one’s own very connection and disciplines and methods which are the inroads to relation to and with the inner being. Therein, life is already lived: the path of love has already unfolded and must be lived in such a fashion that might be described as ruthless or brutal – but is at once incredibly soft and forgiving and gentle – that the path of love is followed at the cost of all that which is not love: all that which, in this sense, we can describe truly as weakness or lack of power: which is lack of one’s own self knowledge of that which one is. This lack of self knowledge, at the point of this work being writ: is the social and civil law itself. All educational and social and cultural forces exist for the express purpose of forbidding or forgetting or denying this inner and innate state of soul or spiritude; furthermore, exist at the level of the surface or the superficial – which is to say the gratification of urges and impulses and desires at their imagistic surface: we do not come to know the root of our desires because we never inspect them. We fulfill them as if they were a slot machine

or a convenience store, or a delivery service. In this sense, that man’s desires are met at every juncture he does no battle with them unless he battles them himself – unless his impulse is already toward God. In this way, man is in relation to realpower: the highest force, the greatest path – that which intimately connects his own self with the Cosmic Self, or the Cosmic ‘I’. Realpower proceeds in this fashion: the self inquiry or the self ignorance. The former is intimate relation with and communication with realpower at the source and root as in a wrestling within oneself to and at the root of the soul-self-center (Jacob wrestling with God at Peniel) – and the latter is an illusion, a delusion – a ‘power’ from without or a lack of self discipline or self control handed over to some ideological, biological, or sociological force or factor as in a complex of ‘being-without’. In simple terms, this might be called true self empowerment or victimhood – or the engagement of the power within oneself / the deferment to the perceived ‘power without oneself’. In this way, man perpetually gives himself away to illusions and delusions: the ‘power’ of the desires of the flesh and sexual desire – desires which bind and bound him to women and men who do not know themselves; thus rely and depend upon him to fulfill, care for, accommodate, and verify them (even as they cannot verify him), the ‘power’ of nations and politics – constructs of borders and boundaries which of course do not exist in Nature and perpetually rise and fall at the attempt to repress the very animalistic urges and nature of the beings socialized and subjected into them; the ‘power’ of wealth and status – in social systems which are arbitrarily codified and propped up on economic systems which spike and collapse like the blood sugar of a candy addict – doped up systems which rely upon exploitation and extortion of the mankind therein as well as in the ritualized abuse of the very Nature they are proported to ‘exist’ within as in spectres of the imagination or ghosts of human and ecological enslavement.

In this way, realpower is the man who is capable of (by nature as in his desire for God, or the highest ideal) turning away from all of these ‘temptations’ (as referred to

previously, but in reality are simply distractions) and trappings of society and civility – and rather turn himself to himself and face the very roots of these desires as in the very essential human within him (and within all mankind) as that which is beneath the mirror of civility: that which is propped up by religious and moral ideals and virtues which only reflect back to man his own shallowness and ignorance in the face of himself – that which becomes his world. And yet, can we blame these men? Who have bought in by the necessity of their very survival and the fulfillment of their animal desires (who does not wish to be loved? Embraced? Sexually fulfilled? To find themselves amongst friends and loved ones and fellows?) – and as such live lives of society. Our very ancestors, of course, could not survive the winter without this type and sense of community. And we must ask ourselves now, what is the price we pay for leaving society? What is the price we pay for remaining within it? And this, of course, returns to the concept and notion of realpower: for the man who desires God, this question is a nonsequitur. The answer is already provided, made, given, within the root of his very own soul. He is already going there, regardless of the perceived consequences or losses proved therein. Even if it means death – death of the body, death of the sociality, death of the animal, death of the religion, death of the world, death of the self conception – he must go there because he must go to God; he must go to God and know God to be the truest inmost nature of himself; Nature itself, in a cosmological sense. To go there is to go to the place where one is obliterated by the command of going to God – much like Abraham climbing the mount to sacrifice Isaac, or Job witnessing the awesome power of God. It is done because these are men of God; as such, the question of loss is a nonsequitur. There is no loss and no gain in the face of the Infinite; the man who knows this as such is faced with the realpower as a practical integration in his own life; faced with the everyday questions which, translated, are always already answered: if it brings him closer to God, he will go there; he will go that way. And such men cultivate discernment as in a spiritual self discipline – as they must – they must observe the natural interactions of their behaviors

and habits, movements, and motions with the larger and wider Nature which is ineffably and indistinguishably themselves. Such men do not exist in an egoic sense; they utilize the ego in superficial situations as masks to accomplish tasks, all of which are done in the name of God and to be closer to and in tune with God. For they know the realpower, or the raw libidinal power beneath the ego- image formation as that which the ego serves and protects and as such live beneath the slip of the ego in communion with the life force as in a movement of life force energy through and as the vessel of the body as the sacramental vessel of and for and as God, of and for and as Nature Itself. Therein, the organism acquires a whole different signature and significance – in this sense it is not simply ‘animal’ but rather a sophisticated instrument through which life force energy is channeled and expressed through various different outlets (from shitting to the arts and the physical meditations) – as in various different meditations wherein the self comes into ever more intimate relationship with and as the self as in the flow state and movement of energetic forces through, with, and as the body (cosmic and atomic).

Such men are always in a state of meditation; they are always returning to center. In this sense, they do not stray as in ‘having desires’ or ‘reaching for and from the without’, but rather remain centered within themselves and ebb and flow and in a depth of self – rising to the surface to meet the situation as the situation commands; coming to the depths to meet the self as the mediation of inner silence which is the communion with God, with Nature, with the self. Their consciousness is like the tides: it meets the shore and recedes in a timely fashion. Of course, here, we are talking about something akin to the Tao. When man embodies nature, or realpower itself-himself – he is nothing, nobody, no one; simultaneously everything, everybody, every-one, Oneself – in his vision, focus, attention, and communion with God, with Nature, with the life force life flow of existence as in the undercurrent or the raw libidinal power beneath the ego- image formation or the ‘surface’ ‘thing’ ‘world’ which appears to be, to the raw eye, ‘existent’. Therein, the world

is merely an image for the Tantric power and force of the thread of life weaving and woven and woving through all things as their ‘source-essence-self’. In the communion with this, man’s ‘ego-self-desiring-for-ego-self’ mask disappears, or is broken, or else revealed to be a spectre of self-image or self-regarding in which he does not understand the true nature of his subjectivity, or an eye on the God body, an eye on the God body which is capable of observing the essence or the source or the foundational nature of itself and yet ‘looks without’ itself (organismically) upon ‘others’ (God eyes upon the God body) and perceives them to be without and thus desires them as in a reincorporation, or the desire to return the limbs and arms and legs to the God formation which has never been lost. This – is the relationship between the ‘ego I’ and the Cosmic I – as in one being an utter unreality (and yet, when in proper relationship within the Cosmic, a useful tool for works and moving energy in relation to the God body) – much like the painting being mistaken for the painter, or the song being mistaken for the singer. It is the strength of the one who desires God (and this is proven in lived action, perhaps even without his knowing of how deep this desire is, or how powerful it is in relation to the ‘other desires’ of the organismic-sense) to go directly to the intersection where the hand touches the brush touches the canvas, or to the centre and essence of desire as in the raw libidinal life force energy and to study it and in studying it (even in going ‘against it’ in such ways as fasting or celibacy) coming into deeper understanding of what exactly it is, how it functions (within this body and the God body as and at on(c)e) – and in this way, coming into a deeper understanding not only of what it is to be human, but to be an ecosystem, but to be Nature itself. In this way, we come into an expansive view which is not merely a vision but an embodiment of the Cosmic I; a perspective which is inclusive of and as the entire God body witnessing itself from the essence, the seed – the inner self which is the raw libidinal life force energy coming into understanding of itself and thus understanding the movement and inflow and outflow of life force energy to and through the bodies or organs or limbs or eyes which compose the God body;

Nature itself. This is, again, an embodied process, in and at which, with the strength of realpower (the desire for God as in and ‘above’ ‘all things’ – as the recognition and realization that all things are God at their very root and source), one embodies the Divine, or the Cosmic Principles of Nature as in a life practice – or a way of living which lives from that place.

RE: KIERKEGAARD

I. Sin is a position as in one’s relation to Oneself which is ‘being-apart’ or ‘separate’ from Oneself as in a synthetic or conceptual state of being which views God as separate, apart, or altogether nonexistent. In this sense, man has an incomplete or nonexistent or rebellious or ignorant view of the very Being-Nature which composes and is him in the most immediate, living sense.

II. Man’s relation to Oneself as in being-oneself- Being-Oneself is the end of relationship, or living in and as the end which is God-Being-Nature from which all life is and bes and proceeds. Therein, man’s relation to himself is together and still and silent; the affairs of his life play out as predestined or predetermined in that they follow the high moral-ethical framework of the living and being as Oneself – or living in the truth of man’s existence – not as some solitary or isolated self which has ‘agency’, but rather as and in the very Being-Nature-God body Self which is eternally itself, whole, and still. Therein, the relations in the God body unfold as such: as relations between organs, energetic systems, centres, et cetera.

III. Man’s realization is thus: that he is simultaneously God and an eye of God – a cell of God and God himself in that he is a cell of God. This is the union of the atomic-psyche and the cosmic-cosmos – or the ‘ego I’ and the ‘superego I’ – in a mass which is indistinguishable and ineffable – in that the self exists in and as the Self simultaneous and aeterna.

IV. Therein, there is no ‘position’ of sin in that time and space are eradicated; furthermore, as is desire as in a within-without, subject-object, having-lack conjecture. The self is whole within Itself; thus can have, be, nor acquire nothing that is not already a priori Itself; in this sense everywhere it looks it observes God; everywhere the God eye sees it sees the eyes of God within and as itself – as in examining the Self within the body.

V. In this sense, sin is entirely imaginary; the God Self is Absolute Reality of the being’s interaction, relation, engagement, and life in and as life itself. To sin would simply be to attempt to assert an idea of life, or to attempt to proceed life in such a way that it is not already naturally flowing. It is like standing in a river and trying to redirect the current, or to change the world, other such figures of speech. This movement is a movement of the ego (Luciferic in the Paradise Lost sense) to move against or go against or conquer the Natural; to assert the power and influence and sway of the ego over the natural ebb and flow of the tides of being and lifeblood which compose both the cosmic and the psychic movements and seasons of ‘time’.

VI. To sin is then to conjecture space and time and to proceed in relation to space and time as objective realities with determinable qualities, traits, and separate essences and beingnesses which can be acquired, traded, or known in different ethical and moral systems as in a definitive separation between or border or bound between God and man or cosmos and psyche – that heaven and earth and hell are separate layers of existence with separate spheres and functions. This is then, in the ‘sin’

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    sense, how genocide and slavery and other such
    violences and violations are justified – in that
    one or the other is morally or ethically superior
    or inferior, human or inhuman, righteous and
    criminal, and so forth.

VII. It is in and from this position that man is, quite literally, at war with Nature – which is simultaneous with being at war with himself, Oneself, or his true self and being-nature. It is in this sense that the ego is unleashed upon Itself – its very Natural form – as in an imaginary threat conjectured as ‘another’ which is, in reality, its very own being conceived of (imaginarily) as shadow, attacker, enemy, fear, et cetera.

VIII. The collapse of relationship is the end of the self-world conjecture as an embodied reality, not merely an intellectual statement or observation but rather one that is embodied throughout the being-body as in unison and union with the Cosmic Body as in the living in and as Oneself which penetrates each movement, action, decision, thought, and moment – as in an end to space and time as in the single pointed One- Nature of Being Stillness and Silence itself as entirely whole. The position of sin is thus mistaking the ‘becoming’ (the perceived movement of Being) for the Absolute Reality – which is always already the Nature which projects the seasons as in sensorial phenomenological ‘realities’ or ‘movements’ which appear to human eyes and ears and skins as happenings – as in movements within the Cosmic Body – neurological, bowel, and so forth. The Body remains intact and whole, while the energetic processes or currents which are the lifebloods of the Body flowing through it are the ‘phenomena’ being observed. This is

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  like mistaking the flow of the water for the river
  itself.

IX. So we can see here how ‘sin’ is rather a common condition and how acts of sin are not seen as acts of sin but rather logical outcomes in a material-objective world with subject-object relations and desires for said objects to be incorporated into separate, disparate subjects. This is a worldview, or belief system, which can be called, simply – materialism. Therein, as well, at the ‘opposite end of the spectrum’, is the total spiritualization of existence, or the loss of any sort of practical, actionable ground as in living out the life of the being within the Being as in performing the dictates of the soul – a paralysis in which ‘nothing exists’, ‘nothing is real’, ‘everything is a dream’. There is, of course, no spectrum in sin – there is only living in sin and living in God.

X. Therein: living in sin is the (intellectual and/or embodied) acting out of a belief system wherein there is not Oneself; therein there is no higher value or meaning or truth beyond that which is conjectured by the mechanisms and apparatuses of the material/scientific/observational/phenomenolo gical society and culture which is the firm human body, the firm human senses, and the world which is constituted by their supposedly ‘direct’ observational power and ability to know truth as in the identity of the object.

XI. Man’s relation to Oneself as in being-oneself- Being-Oneself is the end of relationship, or living in and as the end which is God-Being-Nature from which all life is and bes and proceeds. Therein, man’s relation to himself is together and still and silent; the affairs of his life play out

as predestined or predetermined in that they follow the high moral-ethical framework of the living and being as Oneself – or living in the truth of man’s existence – not as some solitary or isolated self in relation to a ‘world’ or ‘another’ or an ‘other’, but rather as and in the very Being-Nature-God body Self which is eternally itself, whole, and still.

In everything, God calls out to you - In a lover who has turned her back In a lover who is silent In the maiden who calls… In the butterfly And in the call to scripture Written in dust on the back of a passenger bus.

In everything, God calls out to you - Calling back to the knowledge before your birth. Everything is almost remembering: You give your love to your newborn child You give your love to a cat You give your love to your lover Perhaps half remembering that these are all forms of God.

Shakti comes as a thousand disguises Every orgasm is in her name Every look of love And every moment of ecstatic bliss. It is these names and forms: These that I take you to be, These that are ineffably me.

You must heat the blood so it does not coagulate. Forget the psychedelic spectacle. Come a little closer to your survival – It beckons with a murderous grin Crouched in a dark corner like a spectre of the first animal Mad with the delight of consciousness Made with animal eyes Ears, nose, mouth and tongue Bloodthirsty to devour Bloodthirst of the universe, plasmic The wide grin of the ouroboros snake which eats itself The carnivorous: rape, debauchery, wine, taking the body Leaving the body In a drumbeat time Like a march of slaves Up the mountain of Time Up the pyramid foothills Into the slave halls of the kings Into the slave halls of the breasts of God Taking their faces into her bosom, Moloch They breathe the hot stank of night The wretched, pallor glow of bodies Piled wide and high About the pantheon The chalk circle of this existence. Do you dare cross the bounds of your own sacred rite? The widening circle of day The enchanting beyond of the night? Do you dare cross the bounds of your own profane night? I wave the penis stick I point to the grave mount of the vulva I point to the dead child I point to the river of blood I point to the gaping mouth of life and I cry, This? And indeed it is, a world of vagabonds How to cower in fear of the erotic, the primordial hunger How to starve for lifetimes In the shadow of a looming law The bare punishment

Come with whips in the stockade Daggers in the agora The power subsumed under the writhing vision Of a barrel of snakes A rising water A panic euphoria of the flood of consciousness And the mad attempt to stem the tide To suture the wound Of the man who has lost his legs and arms And is thus bleeding freely A stump A vision A man where the river meets the ocean A meat man who falls into poetic trance A figure shaped in the sutures of flesh and sinew, muscle and tendon Fat and burning alive within himself with the power of a thousand suns The molten core of the earth is inside him and he screams to get it out – What will you use? A blacksmith’s tools, an anvil? You will be blinded by the thousand suns, You too, dying star You too, under agony’s watch, the topo of the mother Her hand placed upon you, within you child Screaming in writhing pain Begging for suffering’s end And the cool flow of the endless night down upon you The water upon the hot coals of your eyes:

The bruised, gaping mouth of existence has been rent open by my knuckles And I step inside her mouth like a cave And light her womb with a match Her whole body covered in gasoline And in a great act of self immolation She burns her body and speaks nothing Not a word escapes her mouth And I flee her body without a sound Looking over my shoulder like Orpheus I see her body fading into darkness I see her taking her true form Krishna returning from his vision, Vishvarupa And I am Arjuna on the battle field With these same white knuckles gripped around my sword The poetic act Going to battle with the forgotten world The world that is already in ruins, Crumbled and fissured like an ancient civilization Crumbled and fissued like the mind of a madman Cratered and filled with forgetting like ocean pools Where man observes his image echo:

The temples of the gods defiled In acts of iconomachy Where the image must be rent from the page in order to be understood The greater acts are accomplished in the psyche And are performed endlessly on the stage of the now: The art is their retrieval and processing Marched through the streets like the head of Hector Paraded about the metropolis like a war victory A token, a gallery I must reach deeper into the throat of creation to retrieve the true prize The prize of infinite, immortal freedom. It is more like Perseus holding the severed head of Medusa, Or David with the head of Goliath in the painting by Caravaggio.

I have murdered the bleak eyes of the everyday and pressed my palms down upon the root of their stalk and retrieved the essence of vision And applied it inwardly to reflect on the essence of consciousness. And in doing so, I have murdered myself, and I have murdered the world In an act that which suicide and murder cannot be distinguished. For if I have plunged the knife into myself, truly, I have extinguished everything into an eternal night. And there I stand – There is no father to murder and no mother to fuck: The ancient city and the galleries of pain dissipate Like ripples in water Like wind in air Like the dancing of a dancer who has left the room Shaded with no curtains Lit from a perennial within.

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Volume XIII

the feet of dionysus. all limbs return to me, vishvarupa consciousness. jai guru! even the darkness is my gullet and in the chambers of my body the candle that is lit is i, the god consciousness, the all seeing i. pervasive, i am the hawk’s pupil and the rat’s scurrying gaze

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